Instant gratification

I am an impatient person. I know I’m being ridiculous but it feels as though I’ve been dieting forever – rather than 2 ½ days. I find myself wondering “Will x fit me now?”. Er, no. With the thinking about, the agonising about and the short burst of actually doing, it feels like forever. Forever not really describing 2 ½ days adequately in anyone's interpretation...

So yesterday was another good day in the bag (yep, only 2/2 but still...). I don’t feel madly hungry – or not often anyway – but I do feel strangely hollow. I can’t really describe it and I don’t know whether it’s physical or psychological but it’s very odd. I also had a fit of the glums in Waitrose yesterday as I wandered around, trying to work out what I could eat and only coming up with things I couldn’t eat. Or that were out of stock. It shows how vital planning is. Although how I could have planned for Waitrose not to have courgettes to make a roasted ratatouille, I don’t know.

I can’t quite fathom out breakfasts as yet. On the plus side, it does suit me better to eat when I get into the office rather than at home – it doesn’t seem to make me any more hungry and means I am more able to get through the morning. I have a glass of V8 and a cup of green tea when I get up and then breakfast when I get to work. I’ve been having cottage cheese but it’s not really working for me. Don’t get me wrong, I do really like cottage cheese but not plain, low fat cottage cheese for breakfast (4oz). I may start having my yoghurt (flavoured with cocoa and sweetener) for breakfast and then the cottage cheese with crudités as an afternoon snack. Yes, I will be Queen of Tupperware (I already rattle on my way home from all the empty boxes in my bag – a bag I have to carry especially for all the boxes!). At weekends it will be easy – scrambled eggs with smoked salmon or mushrooms and roast tomatoes or even an omelette – but weekdays are a whole other kettle of fish. At least for the next 11 days until I can start adding some approved carbs back in. Not sure oats (for porridge) will be first anyway – more likely fruit so this conundrum needs to be worked on.

Today’s menu:

B – V8, cottage cheese with Worcester sauce.
S – walnuts and skinny cappuccino
L – chicken salad (with leaves, ¼ avocado, celery and red pepper). Edamame beans.
S – Yoghurt
D – Prawn stir fry (beanspouts, bok choy, mushrooms, ½ red pepper, spring onion). Doubt I’m allowed any sauce so just soy and some ginger, garlic, lemongrass, 5 spice and chilli.
P – SF jelly

I was tempted to weigh myself half way through the week but as I know in my heart that I am a snail in the world of weight loss, it might just dispirit me. So I’m waiting for a week to pass before I weigh in. Which may STILL dispirit me but is reasonable.

And I would secretly – or even not so secretly – love to lose a chunk of weight asap. I can only fit into one coat and it’s a cropped jacket with cropped sleeves - and is the one that makes me look so pregnant that people offer me a seat on the tube. It’s not good for morale and it’s not warm. I suspect it looks odd with my bobble hat too. Or maybe it’s just my bobble hat!..... (It’s cream with a furry bobble (which people can’t seem to keep their hands off) and is loose enough not to totally destroy my hair.) So, no dreams of skinny jeans and slinky dresses for me – just matching lingerie and warm coats. My goals are modest.

3 things to be thankful for yesterday:
1. Stuck to diet
2. Got to leave work a little early (4pm)
3. Good programme on dogs on BBC2
They’re still not exactly effervescing with joy, are they? And I have to think about it quite hard. Ho hum, a work in progress.