That raincloud was waiting for me yesterday, just where I left it on the edge of the City, like a faithful dog. Except not as cute. Or furry. Or - well, it's a rubbish analogy, forget it! Suffice it to say, having put on wet cycling clothes which hadn't dried out from the morning, I got them even wetter getting home again. But did it stop me cycling in today? No! Of course, it was sunny this morning and I know I won't be able to cycle tomorrow as I'm going to my mother's after work. Rain is forecast but it's sunny now and I'd like to get home in the dry (or even in the sunshine, ideally - if that's not asking too much).
I think I could do with a rest day from cycling anyway - wuss that I am - my arse was aching on the ride in this morning. Now don't get me wrong, this is a good thing as I think (hope) that it means my arse is becoming a hostile place for fat. But my thighs were burning on the slopes (can't in all conscience say hills) too and I felt quite weary. And there's a certain part of the cycle path I use that apparently defies the laws of physics (or gravity. Or both - I really sucked at science at school) by being uphill both ways; spooky. I would cycle tomorrow if I weren't off to Kent in the interests of calorie burning but am quite glad of an excuse.
My cycle route takes me past the Monument to an Unknown Artist. This looks like a bronze statue but it moves. It's horrible! It's not only ugly but really eerie too. My mother's chocolate lab would hate it - she's a laid back kind of dog generally but she takes great exception to those giant inflatable Christmas figures people put outside their houses and barks ferociously at them. Well, this statue would be considered very wrong indeed! Mind you, she once took a strong dislike to the light fitting in the kitchen of my mum's old house. I was there when she saw it and her reaction was extreme - hackles up, lots of noise, the lot! I think her dignity was hurt by my mother and I falling about with laughter.
Life is getting in the way of my diet again. We had an 'optional' team lunch today for charity. It was bread, cheese, pate, pork pie and quiche then strawberries and cream. I didn't have any pork pie as I don't like it and had just one small bit of quiche and left the crust. But I did have brie and stilton with bread and a wodge of pate too. I left most of my cream as it was sweetened which I don't like. Nonetheless, I suspect that it's alot of empty calories I've just consumed. What really annoyed me was that most people - including the big boss who organised it - ducked out at the last minute. Ah well. I think I'll have soup for supper to try and make up for it a bit.
Thursday, 16 July 2009
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
Here comes the rain again
Firstly, a pic of my much admired pannier....
As I set off on my cycle commute to work this morning my stomach was growling. I'm normally a bit hungry when I set off as I have breakfast when I get into the office but I can usually ignore it. Last night I was hungry when I went to bed and still hungry when I got up. I really don't like the sensation of being hungry - although I actually got the shakes cycling home on Monday and still made it home (was nearly there to be fair) for a glass of V8 (delicious and very low cal) before hopping in the shower. So I just tried to ignore the hollow feelings on the basis that it was just hunger, I didn't feel as if I were going to get the shakes.
And luckily the weather conspired to help me, as within 5 mins of leaving home, the rain started. The forecast was for sunny intervals otherwise I wouldn't have cycled - grrr. I stopped and put my raincoat on. And then I cycled with the rain - I could see blue sky ahead but it seemed to be moving at the same rate I was. I kept my sunglasses on which must have looked odd but it's easier than having rain blowing in your eyes. We travelled west together, the raincloud and I, until we got to the City when it headed north whilst I continued west. I was trying to think of all the positives:
1) I was burning calories (a winner, this one!)
2) The rain might wash my bike off a bit (hmmm)
3) It's a well known fact that taxis don't come out in the rain for some reason - and they are bastards to cyclists (only surpassed by motorbikes. Then white vans (after taxis) and then cars, notably BMWs and Mercedes)
But I still hope it's not raining when I cycle home tonight. I was slightly soggy when I got in and I am wary about skiddy surfaces - although I appear to be the only person regulating their speed because of the wet.
Foodwise - I did eat my Wagamama menu as planned (raw salad, asparagus and grilled chicken skewers - all starters/sides) plus I shared some edamame beans with my friend and did succumb to a strawberry juice lolly afterwards. But I was hungry last night and this morning (as I said above). Maybe it's me biorhythms and I'm going through a hungry phase (greedy? Well, possibly but definitely hungry too). I have entered all my food for today in Food Focus and I think I'll have to cut the half an avocado I'm having with my salad for lunch. Today I'm having green salad, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, 1/2 avocado and some parma ham which comes to a startling 356 cals with a bit of dressing - 182 cals of that is the avocado. It's a bummer because I love them, they're really healthy and my salad will be a bit duller and less substantial without them. Hmmm.
And luckily the weather conspired to help me, as within 5 mins of leaving home, the rain started. The forecast was for sunny intervals otherwise I wouldn't have cycled - grrr. I stopped and put my raincoat on. And then I cycled with the rain - I could see blue sky ahead but it seemed to be moving at the same rate I was. I kept my sunglasses on which must have looked odd but it's easier than having rain blowing in your eyes. We travelled west together, the raincloud and I, until we got to the City when it headed north whilst I continued west. I was trying to think of all the positives:
1) I was burning calories (a winner, this one!)
2) The rain might wash my bike off a bit (hmmm)
3) It's a well known fact that taxis don't come out in the rain for some reason - and they are bastards to cyclists (only surpassed by motorbikes. Then white vans (after taxis) and then cars, notably BMWs and Mercedes)
But I still hope it's not raining when I cycle home tonight. I was slightly soggy when I got in and I am wary about skiddy surfaces - although I appear to be the only person regulating their speed because of the wet.
Foodwise - I did eat my Wagamama menu as planned (raw salad, asparagus and grilled chicken skewers - all starters/sides) plus I shared some edamame beans with my friend and did succumb to a strawberry juice lolly afterwards. But I was hungry last night and this morning (as I said above). Maybe it's me biorhythms and I'm going through a hungry phase (greedy? Well, possibly but definitely hungry too). I have entered all my food for today in Food Focus and I think I'll have to cut the half an avocado I'm having with my salad for lunch. Today I'm having green salad, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, 1/2 avocado and some parma ham which comes to a startling 356 cals with a bit of dressing - 182 cals of that is the avocado. It's a bummer because I love them, they're really healthy and my salad will be a bit duller and less substantial without them. Hmmm.
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Life's a bowl of cherries - til you break your teeth on the stones
Yesterday I brought in a super healthy lunch - a green salad and leftover tricolore salad with very good mozzarella and olive oil. I'd just dressed my green salad when people started dashing about the office, whispering urgently. I was summonsed to our small, smelly, freezing meeting room. Apparently a colleague was sufficiently ill that she needed to go to A&E and they wanted me to take her. I don't even ask why to this sort of thing any more as I find the words "sensible" and "reliable" a tad too depressing - it makes me feel like the worst sort of Clark's shoe. So I put my salad back in the fridge, spent the entire afternoon in A&E with a drama-queen of a colleague and had a Muller light rice (blueberry flavour which was a horrid waste of 220 cals) and a pack of M&Ms for lunch. I still came in on calorie count - or thereabouts but it's hardly a healthy choice. Today I got my salads out - to find that the fridge had died and my salads had committed salad-icide out of solidarity. No lunch but a 'fun' time washing out small smelly plastic boxes - and then spending £11 on lunch in M&S (including yet more cherries!).
I didn't cycle today because I'm out with a friend tonight. This guarantees beautiful weather - how annoying! I did walk in but it's not an impressive calorie burn. I have c250 cals left today in my Food Focus account which is not enough! We're going to Wagamama and I intend to have all starters/sides - a salad, asparagus and grilled chicken skewers. That ought to squeak in, don't you think? Just about? Got to be better than any noodle or rice dish, surely - and even the soups have noodles in.
I've been cycling with slightly askew handle bars since my accident. I had hoped to get my bike fixed yesterday but the hospital visit rather put a stop to that. I'll be cycling wonkily for a few days yet as the soonest I can get to the bike shop is Thursday after work. (Panniers, by the way Lainey, - they're a luggage holding bag thing that clips on the back of your bike. Get me, knowing biking lingo - who'd have thought it!). Latest musing from 2 wheels - cycling men are quite odd; there's a new breed I've been noticing, apart from the pillock peloton. They usually wear baggy shorts but invariably wear their work socks (pulled up) with trainers - as if taking another pair of socks to change into would take up too much space. Or maybe they think it's the male equivalent of the Britney-Spears-in-saucy-schoolgirl-kneesocks-look. Ugh! No, no no! Unless every other woman is salivating at the thought?
The Cherry Festival was good - we ate a cherry themed meal in the cafe and then wandered through the orchards eating the odd cherry off the trees, lots of pretty colours from orange to red to purple. We then bought a punnet of delicious cherries (from the orchards) and watched a gun dog demonstration (2 black labs, 2 cocker spaniels including a very pretty chocolate roan - I wanted to take them all home). They also have a great deli/butchers so we bought some of their amazingly delicious steaks and some cheese. Food and dogs - what could be better?! Roll on the Plum Festival next month where I aim to eat greengages until my stomach groans - mmmmmm.
I didn't cycle today because I'm out with a friend tonight. This guarantees beautiful weather - how annoying! I did walk in but it's not an impressive calorie burn. I have c250 cals left today in my Food Focus account which is not enough! We're going to Wagamama and I intend to have all starters/sides - a salad, asparagus and grilled chicken skewers. That ought to squeak in, don't you think? Just about? Got to be better than any noodle or rice dish, surely - and even the soups have noodles in.
I've been cycling with slightly askew handle bars since my accident. I had hoped to get my bike fixed yesterday but the hospital visit rather put a stop to that. I'll be cycling wonkily for a few days yet as the soonest I can get to the bike shop is Thursday after work. (Panniers, by the way Lainey, - they're a luggage holding bag thing that clips on the back of your bike. Get me, knowing biking lingo - who'd have thought it!). Latest musing from 2 wheels - cycling men are quite odd; there's a new breed I've been noticing, apart from the pillock peloton. They usually wear baggy shorts but invariably wear their work socks (pulled up) with trainers - as if taking another pair of socks to change into would take up too much space. Or maybe they think it's the male equivalent of the Britney-Spears-in-saucy-schoolgirl-kneesocks-look. Ugh! No, no no! Unless every other woman is salivating at the thought?
The Cherry Festival was good - we ate a cherry themed meal in the cafe and then wandered through the orchards eating the odd cherry off the trees, lots of pretty colours from orange to red to purple. We then bought a punnet of delicious cherries (from the orchards) and watched a gun dog demonstration (2 black labs, 2 cocker spaniels including a very pretty chocolate roan - I wanted to take them all home). They also have a great deli/butchers so we bought some of their amazingly delicious steaks and some cheese. Food and dogs - what could be better?! Roll on the Plum Festival next month where I aim to eat greengages until my stomach groans - mmmmmm.
Friday, 10 July 2009
Complimentary Therapy
On my cycle ride in today, whilst I was stopping at a red light, a Proper Cyclist (you know, clad in lots of skin-tight lycra) went past me, stopped and called back over his shoulder "Nice panniers"! Now, I'd rather like to think this was a euphemism, but given that I do have nice panniers but sadly don't have a nice arse, I suspect he really was complimenting me on my panniers!
I was at a county show yesterday for work. It was fun even if work kept getting in the way of me doing fun stuff like stroking baby Highland coos and the like and getting compliments on my mauve wellies, but my diet was reprehensible and deteriorating - I had yoghurt, fruit and nuts for breakfast (so far so good), a cappuccino (not skinny, not so good), a Muller lite rice pudding (free - but not free of calories sadly), a real lemonade (I asked for less sugar in mine which suprised them), a ostrich burger (aparently lower fat than skinless chicken but the stilton mayo on it may have remedied that), a skewer of marshmallows and strawberries coated in chocolate from a chocolate fountain, a low fat frozen yoghurt (pineapple flavour - not great but I still finished it), 2 small Pimms, two scones with cream and jam in them, a quarter of a smoked salmon sandwich, about 8 crisps and a slab of fudge. Then I went home and ate 3 Welsh cakes with butter on. I shudder to think what that little lot added up to on the calorie scale but I'm pretty sure my 1200 cals I burn off on day's cycling commute will have had little effect but I still shoe-horned myself out of my weary bed today in any case.
This is not the beginning of the rot, this is a blip. I am a blimp and so it must be a blip - ho ho! No, really, next week will see me cycling and recording on Food Focus (and, crucially, eating) no more than 1300cals a day. Like Lesley (livetoslim.blogspot.com) I really do feel that this is now a way of life, not a diet (er, not the menu above for the 'way of life' thing by the way) - and in a way it will be a relief to get back to some discipline and normality.
We are having a curry tonight though - which will be nice as I usually cycle home through the East End, smelling all the lovely curry smells and feeling hungry and wistful. Tonight I will be having curry! So to balance it, I'll be having steak and salad for dinner tomorrow. And alot of cherries as we're going to a cherry festival. Not sure what this entails but I'm pretty confident it will involve eating cherries so how can it be a bad thing?!
I was at a county show yesterday for work. It was fun even if work kept getting in the way of me doing fun stuff like stroking baby Highland coos and the like and getting compliments on my mauve wellies, but my diet was reprehensible and deteriorating - I had yoghurt, fruit and nuts for breakfast (so far so good), a cappuccino (not skinny, not so good), a Muller lite rice pudding (free - but not free of calories sadly), a real lemonade (I asked for less sugar in mine which suprised them), a ostrich burger (aparently lower fat than skinless chicken but the stilton mayo on it may have remedied that), a skewer of marshmallows and strawberries coated in chocolate from a chocolate fountain, a low fat frozen yoghurt (pineapple flavour - not great but I still finished it), 2 small Pimms, two scones with cream and jam in them, a quarter of a smoked salmon sandwich, about 8 crisps and a slab of fudge. Then I went home and ate 3 Welsh cakes with butter on. I shudder to think what that little lot added up to on the calorie scale but I'm pretty sure my 1200 cals I burn off on day's cycling commute will have had little effect but I still shoe-horned myself out of my weary bed today in any case.
This is not the beginning of the rot, this is a blip. I am a blimp and so it must be a blip - ho ho! No, really, next week will see me cycling and recording on Food Focus (and, crucially, eating) no more than 1300cals a day. Like Lesley (livetoslim.blogspot.com) I really do feel that this is now a way of life, not a diet (er, not the menu above for the 'way of life' thing by the way) - and in a way it will be a relief to get back to some discipline and normality.
We are having a curry tonight though - which will be nice as I usually cycle home through the East End, smelling all the lovely curry smells and feeling hungry and wistful. Tonight I will be having curry! So to balance it, I'll be having steak and salad for dinner tomorrow. And alot of cherries as we're going to a cherry festival. Not sure what this entails but I'm pretty confident it will involve eating cherries so how can it be a bad thing?!
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Back to fat
Okay, in the interests of a punning title I may be being misleading. I have never been anything but fat. Fat, fatter, fattest. Only last year (at a stone lighter than I went off to Wales) was I getting towards merely chubby - the rest of the time it's been gradations of fat. Anyway, where I'm going with this (in a roundabout way) is that I've put on 7lbs. Over a fortnight. I've done worse but that is with alot of walking and since I was eating boiled sweets coming back in the car on the way home with my mum yesterday, I may not have settled to a top weight yet. Oh joy.
Thus I cycled in today despite the threatening rain and my elbow not being quite recovered yet. But I'm still in a halfway house with food - mostly back on the wagon but with a few extra pieces of fruit (cherries! Who'd have thought they could have so many calories?!) and finishing up some naughty goodies (Welsh cakes and a chocolate cake that we had made for my nephew's birthday and which my brother spurned - 2 more pieces to go (for me - same for bf)). I've been brave though and entered it all on Food Focus so I know where I am - it's a type of discipline I guess since my preferred option is ostrich-like head in sand ignorance. I'm off overnight tomorrow on a work thingy so I think food choices will be chaotic and not sensible but I'm trying not to use this as an excuse to just eat anything in site, pac-(wo)man style.
Wales was great - we had lovely sunny weather in the main, so much so that the chocolate lab found it rather too hot and we had to keep ensuring there was shade/water to submerse herself in (or both preferably but she's water mad). We also had to carry an extra litre of water each for her to drink along the way (and another litre and a half in the car). The dogs had a wonderful time and even the somewhat wussy yellow lab got into swimming whilst the chocolate one swam as often and as much as she was allowed to - left to her own devices I suspect she'd keep going until she collapsed. In fact I had to go into the sea to my armpits on a non-sunny day and prise her jaws off a buoy she was determined to have and yank her into shore! I also spoilt them horribly with banana milk, pork scratchings and the odd ice cream (probably giving them my own hang ups about food as treats in the process!) as well as silly games and cuddles. I feel bereft now without a dog, sigh. And I felt very sad for my mum as she enjoyed the time so much that she was choked when she went home - she lives on her own and I know it feels lonely for her at times, especially when she's had a contrast to that. But I found it too long to be without bf and got quite homesick after about a week - which I had to disguise from my mum so she wouldn't feel guilty that I was there at all. He's bitten my head off twice in the few hours I've been back though - a perfect cure for too much sentimentality!
Thus I cycled in today despite the threatening rain and my elbow not being quite recovered yet. But I'm still in a halfway house with food - mostly back on the wagon but with a few extra pieces of fruit (cherries! Who'd have thought they could have so many calories?!) and finishing up some naughty goodies (Welsh cakes and a chocolate cake that we had made for my nephew's birthday and which my brother spurned - 2 more pieces to go (for me - same for bf)). I've been brave though and entered it all on Food Focus so I know where I am - it's a type of discipline I guess since my preferred option is ostrich-like head in sand ignorance. I'm off overnight tomorrow on a work thingy so I think food choices will be chaotic and not sensible but I'm trying not to use this as an excuse to just eat anything in site, pac-(wo)man style.
Wales was great - we had lovely sunny weather in the main, so much so that the chocolate lab found it rather too hot and we had to keep ensuring there was shade/water to submerse herself in (or both preferably but she's water mad). We also had to carry an extra litre of water each for her to drink along the way (and another litre and a half in the car). The dogs had a wonderful time and even the somewhat wussy yellow lab got into swimming whilst the chocolate one swam as often and as much as she was allowed to - left to her own devices I suspect she'd keep going until she collapsed. In fact I had to go into the sea to my armpits on a non-sunny day and prise her jaws off a buoy she was determined to have and yank her into shore! I also spoilt them horribly with banana milk, pork scratchings and the odd ice cream (probably giving them my own hang ups about food as treats in the process!) as well as silly games and cuddles. I feel bereft now without a dog, sigh. And I felt very sad for my mum as she enjoyed the time so much that she was choked when she went home - she lives on her own and I know it feels lonely for her at times, especially when she's had a contrast to that. But I found it too long to be without bf and got quite homesick after about a week - which I had to disguise from my mum so she wouldn't feel guilty that I was there at all. He's bitten my head off twice in the few hours I've been back though - a perfect cure for too much sentimentality!
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Quick update
The woman at the walk in centre frowned at me.
"Does this hurt?" she said, prodding around my elbow tip
Me, gasping: "Uh, a bit"
Her: "Hmm, I wonder if it's broken - you really ought to have an x-ray"
Me, aghast: "I'm sure it's not broken" thinking "I don't want to spend hours in A&E"
Her, firmly: "You need to have it x-rayed to be sure"
So I went and sat in A&E, having got past the triage nurse who clearly felt I was malingering and wasting their time. Like I'd be there, wasting my own time, if I had a choice! After 3 hours I was able to say it's not broken. I instantly felt perhaps I was malingering. I mentioned my graze, the nurse was aghast - "It's not a graze, it's an abrasion, a nasty one". Oh, right - not up on my medical jargon, I hadn't realised there was a difference. "It hurts because you've damaged the nerves and taken a lot of skin off" she confirmed. Oh, okay, maybe I wasn't malingering after all.
It still hurts! I am a wuss about having the dressing changed because it hurts so much and bf's bedside manner sucks.
We had a nice time in the New Forest with lots of walking and quite a bit of eating. I was - for me - relatively restrained. I didn't see the off-diet eating as a chance to eat absolutely everything I could but I did have pudding twice in 3 days. And an ice cream. I'm not getting on those scales until I return from Wales and have to fess up. I will be that fat lady singing, I just know it.
"Does this hurt?" she said, prodding around my elbow tip
Me, gasping: "Uh, a bit"
Her: "Hmm, I wonder if it's broken - you really ought to have an x-ray"
Me, aghast: "I'm sure it's not broken" thinking "I don't want to spend hours in A&E"
Her, firmly: "You need to have it x-rayed to be sure"
So I went and sat in A&E, having got past the triage nurse who clearly felt I was malingering and wasting their time. Like I'd be there, wasting my own time, if I had a choice! After 3 hours I was able to say it's not broken. I instantly felt perhaps I was malingering. I mentioned my graze, the nurse was aghast - "It's not a graze, it's an abrasion, a nasty one". Oh, right - not up on my medical jargon, I hadn't realised there was a difference. "It hurts because you've damaged the nerves and taken a lot of skin off" she confirmed. Oh, okay, maybe I wasn't malingering after all.
It still hurts! I am a wuss about having the dressing changed because it hurts so much and bf's bedside manner sucks.
We had a nice time in the New Forest with lots of walking and quite a bit of eating. I was - for me - relatively restrained. I didn't see the off-diet eating as a chance to eat absolutely everything I could but I did have pudding twice in 3 days. And an ice cream. I'm not getting on those scales until I return from Wales and have to fess up. I will be that fat lady singing, I just know it.
Friday, 19 June 2009
Splat
So, after a very long and stressful day on Wednesday I was cycling home at c8pm, thinking merrily to myself "I'm glad I'm cycling - I won't feel as stressed when I get home and I'd probably feel even more stressed if I'd tubed it". Then there was a white van parked across both cycle lanes. And these aren't cycle lanes on the road, it's where the pavement has been divided in half and half is for cycles and half for pedestrians so he'd actually pulled up the kerb to park. I checked, no pedestrians, so I pulled out around the van, not noticing a mini kerb type thing between the cycle way and the pavement. I hit it obliquely at some speed - and down I went. I lay there, dazed for a few moments as a nearby cyclist dashed to my rescue. I'd ripped through my top to rip into my elbow and my knee hurt. I wobbled upright gingerly - no, I didn't appear to have broken anything or even sprained anything, phew. The cyclist propped me against a fence and sloshed some water over my elbow. I felt okay. I peered at my elbow which looked like raw mince. Then the world tilted upside down and my vision fractured and blurred into a million spots and I almost went down again. I walked slowly along the cycle way, pushing my bike and squinting to see. I rang bf who was just leaving work and he volunteered to meet me at a nearby station to assess damage to me and the bike and work out what to do. Then the pain hit. I could feel my knee stiffening and my elbow felt on fire - as if I were being flayed by stinging nettles. But I could mostly see again. I got on my bike and slowly pedalled to the meeting point. Bf checked me and checked the bike; it was getting dark (I have no lights and my reflectors had just smashed) and it was about to rain. We debated what to do and I got back on the bike and rode it home (about 3 miles) whilst he hopped back on the train and met me in the basement to bend the mudguard away from my wheel, lock it up safely and carry my panniers in for me.
I found some spray for 'minor grazes' in the cupboard and got bf to spray my elbow. The pain changed from stinging nettles to red hot whip lashes. I screamed and writhed about a bit like a baby and then bf dressed my arm. I considered my look for the wedding the next day - I had a very short sleeve jacket - bad because you'd see the mess of the dressing, good because there'd be no material to irritate my wound. And you try applying fake tan to legs around a bruise and graze site....
The wedding was lovely - sincere and full of love and hope and joy. My friend looked radiant and glamorous, her husband looked proud and handsome. I am not good with a room full of people who I am convinced do not want to talk to anyone as dull as me but I knew a couple of people who I enjoyed speaking to and when they left managed to talk to other very drunk people. I didn't drink or eat much at all, strangely. I argued with a man who was convinced I was Scottish. Or Irish. Or maybe Welsh. I am not. I am English, I told him, very boring but true. Ah, he said, if you go back a generation or two THEN you'll have Scottish blood. Or Irish. Or possibly Welsh. No, I told him firmly, we can trace back to c12th Century and it's English all the way. He muttered and didn't believe me - was I sure? Maybe French?(!) I have (very) fair skin, red hair and blue eyes but I'm English - deal with it. If I had a merest drop of Celtic blood I would be singing it from the rooftops. French blood on my father's side whose family came over in the Norman Invasion (so family legend says) - that speck of blood was probably lost in the cycle accident and not the direct cause of my colouring (I've never thought of the French as being redheads in any case).
Then this morning I removed the dressing as I could see the wound was all sticky underneath. The pain! It throbbed and stung all the drive home. I got out of the car, moved my arm and the wound cracked into welts of red hot pain. Bf re-dressed it (this is hard as it's too big for a dressing - you know me, I don't do anything by halves) and it hurt so badly I just sat and held it (gingerly - ha ha) and cried a bit. It stings all the time and then I get little bursts of pain like electrical shocks every now and again.
Has it put me off cycling? Absolutely not. I am annoyed it happened, I am furious at the selfishness of the van, I am irritated that I wrecked a very useful top. But I am lucky - I did not fall into the road where traffic could have hit me, a fellow cyclist was very kind, my bike is not very damaged (the handlebars are a bit knackered where the rubber's ripped which upsets me but otherwise seems okay), I did not break anything, I was not so hurt that I missed my friend's wedding, my top by ripping did protect my arm a little - at least I was not wearing a short sleeved t-shirt and my cycle gloves protected my hand. I even thought of cycling the 2.5 miles to the supermarket this afternoon to get something for dinner (bf looked incredulous in a hungover sort of way). I'd like to do this but I accept that my arm is not up to it and I fear coming off again at the moment. I may even be a wuss and go to a walk in centre and get them to take a look and reassure me that the pain is just normal and has to be put up with - and ideally dress it properly for me. And I can walk just fine with my bruised, swollen and grazed knee - I will be fine to walk in the New Forest and Wales (although hauling wet and unco-operative labradors over wired up stiles may be more of a challenge than usual).
I found some spray for 'minor grazes' in the cupboard and got bf to spray my elbow. The pain changed from stinging nettles to red hot whip lashes. I screamed and writhed about a bit like a baby and then bf dressed my arm. I considered my look for the wedding the next day - I had a very short sleeve jacket - bad because you'd see the mess of the dressing, good because there'd be no material to irritate my wound. And you try applying fake tan to legs around a bruise and graze site....
The wedding was lovely - sincere and full of love and hope and joy. My friend looked radiant and glamorous, her husband looked proud and handsome. I am not good with a room full of people who I am convinced do not want to talk to anyone as dull as me but I knew a couple of people who I enjoyed speaking to and when they left managed to talk to other very drunk people. I didn't drink or eat much at all, strangely. I argued with a man who was convinced I was Scottish. Or Irish. Or maybe Welsh. I am not. I am English, I told him, very boring but true. Ah, he said, if you go back a generation or two THEN you'll have Scottish blood. Or Irish. Or possibly Welsh. No, I told him firmly, we can trace back to c12th Century and it's English all the way. He muttered and didn't believe me - was I sure? Maybe French?(!) I have (very) fair skin, red hair and blue eyes but I'm English - deal with it. If I had a merest drop of Celtic blood I would be singing it from the rooftops. French blood on my father's side whose family came over in the Norman Invasion (so family legend says) - that speck of blood was probably lost in the cycle accident and not the direct cause of my colouring (I've never thought of the French as being redheads in any case).
Then this morning I removed the dressing as I could see the wound was all sticky underneath. The pain! It throbbed and stung all the drive home. I got out of the car, moved my arm and the wound cracked into welts of red hot pain. Bf re-dressed it (this is hard as it's too big for a dressing - you know me, I don't do anything by halves) and it hurt so badly I just sat and held it (gingerly - ha ha) and cried a bit. It stings all the time and then I get little bursts of pain like electrical shocks every now and again.
Has it put me off cycling? Absolutely not. I am annoyed it happened, I am furious at the selfishness of the van, I am irritated that I wrecked a very useful top. But I am lucky - I did not fall into the road where traffic could have hit me, a fellow cyclist was very kind, my bike is not very damaged (the handlebars are a bit knackered where the rubber's ripped which upsets me but otherwise seems okay), I did not break anything, I was not so hurt that I missed my friend's wedding, my top by ripping did protect my arm a little - at least I was not wearing a short sleeved t-shirt and my cycle gloves protected my hand. I even thought of cycling the 2.5 miles to the supermarket this afternoon to get something for dinner (bf looked incredulous in a hungover sort of way). I'd like to do this but I accept that my arm is not up to it and I fear coming off again at the moment. I may even be a wuss and go to a walk in centre and get them to take a look and reassure me that the pain is just normal and has to be put up with - and ideally dress it properly for me. And I can walk just fine with my bruised, swollen and grazed knee - I will be fine to walk in the New Forest and Wales (although hauling wet and unco-operative labradors over wired up stiles may be more of a challenge than usual).
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