Monday, 30 June 2014

Spinning around

Well, it's been a crazy couple of weeks.  I cannot recommend ending a job, starting a new one and sitting an exam all in the space of a week.  But that, dear Reader, is what I did.

I am not sorry to say goodbye to the old job.  I loved the subject matter but the department I worked in was - as I said in my exit interview - a blame culture that de-skilled, demotivated and disempowered anyone unfortunate enough to find themselves there.  I did not make the traditional tearful speech saying how much I'd miss the place.  I'll miss the subject matter and some of my colleagues but in all truthfulness, I felt utter glee at having escaped.

The people seem very nice in the new job.  It's a bit quiet for me but I'm dying to get my teeth stuck in to some of the bigger projects and that should happen soon.  In the meantime I'm trying not to boss my less experienced colleague about but to inject a bit of dynamism and proactivity.  AND they have clean loos, windows and bins - an enormous improvement on the old place.

The exam was ridiculously tough.  I worked really hard but I don't think it was enough.  Time will tell.  I learnt a lot - much more than the level down - so I need to keep that in my goldfish brain.  Especially as I may have to re-sit.

I'm now trying to get a grip on my diet again.  Too many carbs were creeping in - it's exhausting constantly avoiding them and they are everywhere and so, so easy.  I bought a spiralizer to make courgette spaghetti as a weapon in my arsenal - and am delighted with it!  It came with "instructions" so cryptic that you'd have to be of Bletchley Park standard to work out, but a pleasant annoyingly glowy and thin American lady on youtube set me straight in a jiffy.  If that is what spiralizing does to you, it was worth every penny.  Tonight will be courgette spaghetti with pesto, sundried tomato and cheese - delicious!  And making the ribbons is an absurd amount of fun.

I also bought a keyboard for my ipad and that, dear Reader, means I can start posting regularly again. I am hoping these two purchases will make a big difference and help me shed some lardage pdq.  I still feel pretty wretched about myself and I look dreadful - clothes just don't work.  Although far better than the alternative for those who don't want the therapy that that would involve. And though I still have to clear out my wardrobe, even doing a little of this reveals how many actually quite nice clothes I have - and how very few of them actually fit me.  I have clothes for the next three dress sizes down - I just need to move in that direction.

On which note: I sit next to a slim sugar fiend.  Not only is this sickeningly annoying but also a challenge.  I have to keep thinking of those clothes and how I feel now and resist the percy pigs (do they actually put crack in those things??!), fruit pastilles etc etc etc

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

The Great Escape

I am an arrant coward.  After a loss last time, I can’t bear to stand on SoD again.  I steeled myself to do it this morning – because I knew I needed to post.  And I forgot.  I really did but even I can see that that looks distinctly subconsciously deliberate.  I’m not sure when I can screw my courage up again.  Maybe next week (yes, that will be a fortnight.  Or possibly even 3 weeks).
On the plus side, I have found a new job.  It is only maternity cover (Amy: this is to cover whilst the incumbent goes off and has her baby – she can take up to a year) and I’m not sure what will happen after that.  Worst case scenario is that I have to find another job in a year’s time.  It was supposed to be a secondment but of course, my lovely employers wouldn’t release me.  So I quit.
Work has been beyond hideous (as you know, dear Reader) so it’s good to know I’m going to escape.  It’s just a festering poisonous place of unpleasantness.  I’m amazed to hear that people outside our section can see this but I’ve had a few comments to that effect.  I suppose the fact that our staff turnover is so horrendous is a clue.  Not a clue recognised by our own senior managers but still.
I’m dreading my last day – there’s usually a bit of a speech made and I don’t think my boss is going to want to say nice things about me.  He acknowledges I’m good at my job but apparently this is not enough.  Funnily enough, he is not good at his job but IS very good at the corporate brown-nosing.  He’ll doubtless go far.
I think I’m not being as strict with carbs as I should be – everything has been so crazy I simply haven’t had the energy and time to think about each food choice.  I am aware that sounds like an excuse but it’s actually true.  I need to get back on top of this – and maybe then I wouldn’t fear the SoD so much.  Oh who am I kidding….!