Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Quick update

The woman at the walk in centre frowned at me.
"Does this hurt?" she said, prodding around my elbow tip
Me, gasping: "Uh, a bit"
Her: "Hmm, I wonder if it's broken - you really ought to have an x-ray"
Me, aghast: "I'm sure it's not broken" thinking "I don't want to spend hours in A&E"
Her, firmly: "You need to have it x-rayed to be sure"

So I went and sat in A&E, having got past the triage nurse who clearly felt I was malingering and wasting their time. Like I'd be there, wasting my own time, if I had a choice! After 3 hours I was able to say it's not broken. I instantly felt perhaps I was malingering. I mentioned my graze, the nurse was aghast - "It's not a graze, it's an abrasion, a nasty one". Oh, right - not up on my medical jargon, I hadn't realised there was a difference. "It hurts because you've damaged the nerves and taken a lot of skin off" she confirmed. Oh, okay, maybe I wasn't malingering after all.

It still hurts! I am a wuss about having the dressing changed because it hurts so much and bf's bedside manner sucks.

We had a nice time in the New Forest with lots of walking and quite a bit of eating. I was - for me - relatively restrained. I didn't see the off-diet eating as a chance to eat absolutely everything I could but I did have pudding twice in 3 days. And an ice cream. I'm not getting on those scales until I return from Wales and have to fess up. I will be that fat lady singing, I just know it.

Friday, 19 June 2009


So, after a very long and stressful day on Wednesday I was cycling home at c8pm, thinking merrily to myself "I'm glad I'm cycling - I won't feel as stressed when I get home and I'd probably feel even more stressed if I'd tubed it". Then there was a white van parked across both cycle lanes. And these aren't cycle lanes on the road, it's where the pavement has been divided in half and half is for cycles and half for pedestrians so he'd actually pulled up the kerb to park. I checked, no pedestrians, so I pulled out around the van, not noticing a mini kerb type thing between the cycle way and the pavement. I hit it obliquely at some speed - and down I went. I lay there, dazed for a few moments as a nearby cyclist dashed to my rescue. I'd ripped through my top to rip into my elbow and my knee hurt. I wobbled upright gingerly - no, I didn't appear to have broken anything or even sprained anything, phew. The cyclist propped me against a fence and sloshed some water over my elbow. I felt okay. I peered at my elbow which looked like raw mince. Then the world tilted upside down and my vision fractured and blurred into a million spots and I almost went down again. I walked slowly along the cycle way, pushing my bike and squinting to see. I rang bf who was just leaving work and he volunteered to meet me at a nearby station to assess damage to me and the bike and work out what to do. Then the pain hit. I could feel my knee stiffening and my elbow felt on fire - as if I were being flayed by stinging nettles. But I could mostly see again. I got on my bike and slowly pedalled to the meeting point. Bf checked me and checked the bike; it was getting dark (I have no lights and my reflectors had just smashed) and it was about to rain. We debated what to do and I got back on the bike and rode it home (about 3 miles) whilst he hopped back on the train and met me in the basement to bend the mudguard away from my wheel, lock it up safely and carry my panniers in for me.

I found some spray for 'minor grazes' in the cupboard and got bf to spray my elbow. The pain changed from stinging nettles to red hot whip lashes. I screamed and writhed about a bit like a baby and then bf dressed my arm. I considered my look for the wedding the next day - I had a very short sleeve jacket - bad because you'd see the mess of the dressing, good because there'd be no material to irritate my wound. And you try applying fake tan to legs around a bruise and graze site....

The wedding was lovely - sincere and full of love and hope and joy. My friend looked radiant and glamorous, her husband looked proud and handsome. I am not good with a room full of people who I am convinced do not want to talk to anyone as dull as me but I knew a couple of people who I enjoyed speaking to and when they left managed to talk to other very drunk people. I didn't drink or eat much at all, strangely. I argued with a man who was convinced I was Scottish. Or Irish. Or maybe Welsh. I am not. I am English, I told him, very boring but true. Ah, he said, if you go back a generation or two THEN you'll have Scottish blood. Or Irish. Or possibly Welsh. No, I told him firmly, we can trace back to c12th Century and it's English all the way. He muttered and didn't believe me - was I sure? Maybe French?(!) I have (very) fair skin, red hair and blue eyes but I'm English - deal with it. If I had a merest drop of Celtic blood I would be singing it from the rooftops. French blood on my father's side whose family came over in the Norman Invasion (so family legend says) - that speck of blood was probably lost in the cycle accident and not the direct cause of my colouring (I've never thought of the French as being redheads in any case).

Then this morning I removed the dressing as I could see the wound was all sticky underneath. The pain! It throbbed and stung all the drive home. I got out of the car, moved my arm and the wound cracked into welts of red hot pain. Bf re-dressed it (this is hard as it's too big for a dressing - you know me, I don't do anything by halves) and it hurt so badly I just sat and held it (gingerly - ha ha) and cried a bit. It stings all the time and then I get little bursts of pain like electrical shocks every now and again.

Has it put me off cycling? Absolutely not. I am annoyed it happened, I am furious at the selfishness of the van, I am irritated that I wrecked a very useful top. But I am lucky - I did not fall into the road where traffic could have hit me, a fellow cyclist was very kind, my bike is not very damaged (the handlebars are a bit knackered where the rubber's ripped which upsets me but otherwise seems okay), I did not break anything, I was not so hurt that I missed my friend's wedding, my top by ripping did protect my arm a little - at least I was not wearing a short sleeved t-shirt and my cycle gloves protected my hand. I even thought of cycling the 2.5 miles to the supermarket this afternoon to get something for dinner (bf looked incredulous in a hungover sort of way). I'd like to do this but I accept that my arm is not up to it and I fear coming off again at the moment. I may even be a wuss and go to a walk in centre and get them to take a look and reassure me that the pain is just normal and has to be put up with - and ideally dress it properly for me. And I can walk just fine with my bruised, swollen and grazed knee - I will be fine to walk in the New Forest and Wales (although hauling wet and unco-operative labradors over wired up stiles may be more of a challenge than usual).

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Life vs diet

Dieting is all very easy (relatively speaking of course!) as long as you can be 100% focused on it. The moment you have to juggle it with something else, like, er, life, it all goes a bit pear-shaped. As do you. Oh, okay, me then

Since I got back from Cornwall 3 weeks ago, I've really knuckled under and counted calories and exercised - all those dreary necessities which shift the scales downwards. And it has paid off - I am now back to pre-Cornwall weight. It's still to heavy, it still means that my clothes don't fit, but it's heading in the right direction. And now I have a wedding tomorrow, a party on Saturday, a long not-quite-weekend with bf in the New Forest (from Sunday to Tuesday) and then I'm off to N Wales with my mum and the labradors for 10 days.

I don't want to do another Cornwall and come back 10lbs heavier - I really don't. I'm unhappy being this size - finding things to wear (new or existing) is hard and I don't feel good about myself. But my fear is that without cycling 4x a week, and without scrupulously counting my allocation of 1200-1300 cals a day, my weight is going to start creeping (or possibly even galloping) back up. I've done the maths - or rather Food Focus has as my maths is pretty abysmal - and a 3-4 hour hike should be more calories burnt than my 2 hour cycle. So technically, I should be able to eat over 2000 cals a day and STILL lose weight (2lbs a week according to FF) as long as I'm 'hiking' for 3-4 hours a day. But according to FF I should be able to eat just over 2000 cals a day now and still lose 2lb a week - but I ignore that. Yes, I eat more at the weekend but I don't think it would bring my average calorie intake up that high - and I know that my useless metabolism just doesn't respond like a 'normal' person's so that makes me ultra paranoid. I do want to - and need to - be more relaxed about eating whilst away, it's finding that balance: something I've never yet been successful in. It's feast or famine for me - literally! At least in Wales I should be able to eat sensibly 3 times a day and allow for an ice cream or a piece of cake mid-hike and not balloon. Admittedly, in the New Forest with bf I'm likely to eat more just because we'll eat out in the evenings but again, I'm hoping that sensible choices will limit the damage and long walks will offset. But, but, but. Ooohhhhh the fear...

So, in other news: this morning I cycled in and had just finished showering in the office's changing rooms when I realised I'd left my skirt at home. Arghhhh. So having dropped my make up and nectarine in my fluster, I had to run to the shops in my cycle gear to buy another skirt. Could I find anything? No, I flipping couldn't. I tried M&S to no avail - only frump-tastic (and I have enough problems in that department (with a small 'd') anyway) so was forced into Monsoon - yes, I'm in London but I'm in a sort of shopping wasteground here.

I quite like Monsoon's stuff but it's hideously over-priced for very indifferent quality. I think I tried every skirt on in the shop and only one fitted me at all - so I had to buy that for £45. And I don't even like it:
I think it's a bit wishy-washy and the sash doesn't look a fraction as nice in real life - it curls up and makes your top protrude where the bow is. I'm going to have to wear and wear the sodding thing now I've had to fork out for it too.

The thing is that I tried on all 16s and the straighter ones in particular were too tight and highlighted my stomach (there was a skirt I actively liked on the hanger that falls into that category). I then tried on 18s in these styles which were absurdly big round the waist. I really don't want to think I'm an 18 - I've been there and I've been a 14 too and I was hoping I was moving 14-wards. I do think Monsoon just doesn't cater to my shape - their women appear to be wider in the waist and slimmer in the hip (and gut) than me, more up and down where I'm more in and out (sadly more out than in). Still, a label that's a bigger size than you think you are has remarkable power to ruin your day.

Friday, 12 June 2009

A view from 2 wheels

Well I arrived at my desk all upset this morning. On my otherwise pleasant (if hurried - overslept) ride, a stupid man stepped right in front of me. I slammed on the brakes as he turned to gawp at me:

Me "I nearly hit you!"
Git: "Well ring your f*cking bell then, that's what it's for"
NB Had I done this I wouldn't have been able to slam the brakes on and would have hit him - this seems appealling except that I probably would have been hurt too.
Me: "Or you could not step into the road without looking"
Git: "F*ck off you fat bitch"

It stung. It still stings. A rude, stupid git like him shouldn't have the power to upset me but he did. I am fat I guess, but after a loss of over 3st (currently), I am upset that that's still the first thing that people see. Lainey's comment on my last blog post has gone some way to cheer me up though - awww, thanks Lainey (blushes).

Anyway, my top three of amusing cyclist sights this week (in no order):
1) Girl cycling in 3/4 length sheepskin coat in the strike - was this idiocy? Was she so super fit that she would be cold even when pedalling furiously?
2) Girl cycling along with a rucksack with a pot of herbs in each pocket
3) My favourite - girl cycling along with a large rucksack on her back, open at the top and at least a dozen baguettes sticking out

I bought a cyclists cagoule type thing. Having accepted that I had to cycle in during the strike, despite appalling weather forecasts, I thought I ought to be protected a bit from the elements. Typically the 14 was a bit small and the 16 was a bit big - I went for the 16 which is XL (will come on to that), finding myself thinking "Well at least I'll get a few layers under this come winter". Uh, hang on - winter? Yes, I appear to be considering cycling on into winter. Not non-stop you understand - after 4 days this week my arse is seriously aching. That had better mean it's reducing.

Which brings me on to cycle clothing. The largest size is an XL - and this is a 16. Are we saying that anyone over a size 16 shouldn't cycle? I admit that I look at some of those ultra skinny roadbikes and wonder if they wouldn't buckle under my weight if I sat on them, but surely we should be encouraging people to get out and get active, whatever their size? Grrrr.

On the plus side (no pun intended), I have now lost all the holiday weight bar 1lb. I'm still half a stone (well, 8lbs) over where my clothes will start to fit and a stone over where I'll start to calm down a bit mentall and be more prepared to be philosophical about weigh-ins. And next week I'll only be able to cycle once on Wednesday - on Monday I'm going to my mum's after work and staying over, so that knocks Monday and Tuesday out. And Tuesday I will probably be panic buying after work for the wedding on Thursday in any case! I have a skirt and a fascinator to wear and nothing in between.... Then the wedding on the Thursday, we're off on Friday and then going to the New Forest for a couple of nights on one of those tokens-in-a-newspaper deals, returning the following Tuesday, then off to Wales with my mum on Wednesday until 6th July. Phew! I don't know what that little lot will do to my weight. I really need to be sensible. There will be plenty of walking - in the New Forest and in Wales but I mustn't cancel that out with over-indulgence in foody treats.

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Cycle chic(k)

Day 11 of headache. My head actually felt as if it were pulsating in my helmet cycling in today, as if it were going to explode the helmet outwards. I can't recommend it as a sensation.

I was curious to see what impact the tube strike would have on the road today, having reluctantly conceded that I would have to cycle, rain or no. There were cyclists out who were - from their dress - not regular cyclists (like the woman whose helmet was on at a rakish - if dangerous - diagonal 90 degree angle). Some of these people overtook me. Humpf - how rude. And there were loads and loads more cars to negotiate around so it took me longer to get in. I also had to pass a cyclist accident with an ambulance in attendance. Eek. It was on a bit of the route with a separate cycle path. Double eek. My commute was dry though - although the heavens have since opened and it is now monsooning which doesn't bode well for getting home.

When I had my cycle training, I had mentioned that I hoped cycling would help me to "get fit" as an aim. This, as many people know, is fat girl speak for "lose weight". Or maybe it's just me. I don't like to say 'lose weight' in case, you know, people haven't noticed up until that point that I am fat. Yep, delusional. The bloke said you can't get fit in London as you can't get enough speed up. I hope this doesn't apply to losing weight. The Food Focus website says I burn c1200 calories in a daily cycle commute - I hope that's right and that is a decent enough effort to burn that blubber. I have bought a new gizmo for my bike which measures the speed, time, calories burnt and all other odd information. Yes, I am subjecting myself to the tyranny of yet more numbers - what a glutton (for punishment. Although actually, probably just a glutton!). I like cycling but would I like it as much if it didn't promise to substantially help me lose weight and turn my arse and thighs into steely toned sylphdom? Okay - may be asking a bit much there but a girl can dream. If sitting on the sofa, reading, burnt more calories I would be delirious with happiness. I am not a natural athlete. I don't have the hair for it, for one thing.

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Salad hedonism and gritted teeth grumpiness

Despite severe provocation I have not exceeded my calorie count. This is despite bf being in a strop with me over something ridiculously minor, despite one of my managers (rude and stroppy at the best of times) getting on her high horse about me forgetting about some trivial process peculiar to this department and despite having a headache that has so far lasted 10 days. I can't tell you how much I crave the oblivion of chocolate, the distraction of that sugar hit and the moment where you are concentrating on that pleasure and forgetting all the crap. I don't think I'm exaggerating.

But I'm constantly aware of feeling and looking dumpy and frumpy and those feelings - although they also make me drawn to sugar - make me unhappy. I can see how easily a vicious circle could spring up here. And I'm finally losing some Cornwall weight - of the 11lbs I'd put on I now only have 3lbs til I'm back to pre-holiday weight. And then it's "only" another 10lbs til my clothes start to fit.

So I cycled yesterday, despite my headache which was sapping me of all energy and pep (cycling hungry is one thing - I do that every time - but cycling with a headache is really not much fun). And thanks to the tube strike tomorrow I think I'll have to cycle then too although I really don't want to cycle in the rain as it makes the road slippery and drivers more careless. And me more wet.

On the plus side, I found an excellent low cal - low everything - snack in M&S. They're mooli wraps (some sort of giant radish I believe) with prawns, mango and veg in. 30 cals for a little pack of 6 (85g so not big physically but psychologically it's a big deal). I had those and cherries as my afternoon snack. I don't feel any more kindly desposed to the world as a result but at least I'm not fatter - which despite the stereotype of jolly, kindly fat people, never fills me with the milk of human kindness!

Am off to Pizza Express tonight with the friend who is traumatising me by getting married next week. Love weddings, love the fact she's getting a 'happy ever after', hate the fact I have nothing to wear, the panic is mounting and I have no time to shop. Anyway, I have checked the Pizza Express website for calorie info - I can have a Pollo Verdure salad with dressing and dough sticks for 475 cals and still come in at 1223cals for the day! Although I should probably have the Pollo with dressing but no dough balls for 412cals but I'm going to BLOW those extra 63 calories, ooh such wickedness!

Friday, 5 June 2009

Shifty scales

I have re-branded my blog. I didn't however call in a team of consultants and pay a shed-load of money, I took a unilateral, sweeping decision. Ha, power! It's been a while since LighterLife and their amazing chemical dust and whilst I will always be grateful that it showed me that I could lose weight, I ain't ever going back there. So it felt a bit cheaty to have that as a title - hope you like the new, improved me!

Soooo, scales. Aren't they hell in a metal casing? I just have a basic pair. I used to have the electronic ones but they kept saying 'Lo'. I wasn't sure if this was biblical 'Lo but she doth weigh a heck of a lot', abbeviated text talk' Lo[ts]', or just an exclamation of strain as I stepped on them - the scaly equivalent of 'ouff'. But either way, they weren't giving me the numbers I needed, man. Or indeed numbers at all. So I bought a basic pair. But they're still schizo. Even today I was anything between x.8lbs up to y.1lbs. I'm being coy because it's more than I want to admit to (the x and y bit). So who the hell knows if it's coming off or not? I'm pretty sure it's not x.8lbs though, sadly.

What I DO know is that today I am ravenous and look certain to do just over 1400cals. This is bad but I can't see a way around it. I went out with a friend last night to Pizza Express where I virtuously had one of their new Pizza Leggeres (where they cut the middle out of the pizza, whack in some salad and it comes in as 500cals). Well, I don't know if that's the issue but she's starving today too. And then I found out I could have had a whole Pollo or Nicoise salad, dressed (although sadly sans dough balls) for c30cals less! Anyway, it was a good evening and my friend who is bilingual in American AND English did some translating from the US blogs I've been reading. Oh, and Lesley, apparently you're right - the fudgsicles are like very watery frozen chocolate and really not great. But low cal pop tarts are a whooooole different matter. Slobber, dribble. Bi-lingual friend gave me some lovely clothes and some fashion advice about a wedding and party coming up. But we didn't really get on to the topic of diets properly (she is expert in this too - the clothes were ones that fit her before she got all slender and svelte) - curse life for getting in the way. And isn't that always the way of it!

And what I meant to ask (among other things) - and I'm throwing it open to the floor people - is what I can do about my very saggy, wobbly bingo wings. They really are deeply unattractive. I thought the braced stance on the bike would do it but they're still shameful. Any ideas?

Although weary, and despite ominous grey clouds, I cycled in today in a further grim determination to get back into my (own) clothes (none of my jackets fit and I'm cold). The pillock pelaton were also out in force (and lycra and retina burning jackets) but I ignored their grunting, eye popping hurtle. And my pesky cycle (the other type) has only been 25 days this month so I cycled en blob. I wore knickers under my cycling knickers (more pants really) so I was kind of double bagged! Okay, this might be TMI as I believe it's called in blog-world.

I may get rather soggy cycling home - a glance outside reveals grey, chilly weather. It's JUNE, it's supposed to be sunny and stuff. I blame my mother, she's bought a load of BBQ stuff. And my brother who'd organised a picnic for my niece's 4th birthday this weekend. Gah. Still, at least if it continues like this I can keep my bingo wobble wings of shame under wraps.

Thursday, 4 June 2009


These are things that have annoyed me (yes, this would be a rant):

1) When I ordered my frappuccino light and they asked me if I wanted cream on it - well, duurrrrr. Although maybe they know about my recent squirty cream exploits....
2) The London Paper pusher who tries to force me to take a copy of his rag when I'm walking past (on a bit of one way system where I need to go the other way) with my bike. What am I going to do? Read it while I cycle?
3) The earnest discussion we had at work about using Twitter as a channel. We're a staid, grey company and really, do people want that sort of hipness from that sort of organisation? Surely it's as embarrassing as watching your Great Uncle Nigel trying to body pop at a family wedding? In a 'whacky' tie.

My weight stays the same, I'm very tired (physically, rather than sleepy) and the forecast is for rain, rain, rain - thus scotching any more cycling commutes in the near future. Grrrr.

PS Lesley - yes in Starbucks 'tall' is a small. Go figure (told you I'd been reading too many US websites). Can't remember what they term medium ('grande'? Don't forget the signficance of that 'e'..) but I think large is a 'venti'. Obviously.

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Spouting off

Cycling has been tough the last few days. I'm slightly fed up that I seem to be less fit - rather than more - than when I started. I wonder if it's biorhythms or similar? My period is due at the weekend and I wonder if that is making me feel more tired. Not sure I fancy cycling with a period either - for one thing, for an ST to fit my cycling knickers it would have to have wings of an eagle. Or an albatross! Anyway, tomorrow is a walking day rather than a cycling day so that will give me a bit of a break. And I still enjoy cycling - it's just feeling rather tough at the moment. It's nothing like the pain that running caused me (emotionally and physically!) so I do count my blessings every time, believe me.

And my weight is stubbornly still not going down.

After my excitement about the new synthetic low cal pudding option (SF jelly and half fat spray cream) I found that I'm not really sure I like it. I like the jelly and I like the cream - just separately, not together. This seems illogical so I keep trying it. I just like the cream off a spoon! I enjoy the squirt action but I have to say I don't think I'd bother buying it again actually - just enjoy the one-off chav wonder of this can. I got the idea from a US site. In fact I rather have US envy - I've been intermittently reading a US weight loss forum and a couple of blogs and they seem to have shelves and shelves of diet foody treats over there. I don't know what a low calorie fudgsicle is but I'm sure I'd like it.

Talking of which, I did discover that a Starbucks' tall mocha light frappuccino is only 113 cals. This is an option for a day when I don't have a LF yoghurt as a way of getting my LF dairy (as per the BBC programme 10 Things You Need to Know About Losing Weight) and a bit of a treat. Tall, though, I ask you! Why can't they just call it small? If that's a tall then I too must be tall. Whereas I'm more like the little teapot - short and stout!

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

How to weigh squirty cream - and other modern dilemmas

'Lunch will be provided' - is there any other phrase to strike quite such terror into a dieter's heart? I fretted about it from the moment I read the agenda. And from the moment that the platters of sandwiches were brought in I was transfixed. I don't even like sandwiches! Unless I've made them myself with superior bread - these weren't nice, I knew it, but the the student in me (and the pig - oink oink) wanted some. Otherwise they all might go! But I didn't scoop so much of a morsel from the inside. I went and heated up my DC soup and ate some of the melon provided. Hurrah for me!

Of course I then slightly dimmed my own glory by coming home and having a wedge of cheese with a piece of quince paste (left over from dinner party) as this was not part of my Food Focus calorie count of 1200-1300cals. My excuse is that I came in from cycling home, starving and knowing that it would be at least 8.15pm until I got to eat (I'm technically at work). It's not an adequate excuse.

So, squirty cream: I have been reading a largely US weight loss forum and this put the idea of sugar free jelly and low fat squirty cream into my mind. Now my sweet tooth is more like a sweet (sabre tooth) fang so I lept joyfully towards this new (and rather downmarket) pudding idea. But the calories given on the back of the cream can were not per squirt (surely logical? Even per inch would be reasonably sensible) but per 12g. I ask you, 12g! But I couldn't risk it, I had to find out just how much 10g of squirty cream would be (I wasn't ambitious enough - or with sufficiently minutely calibrated equipment - to weigh 12g). I'll do it from eye next time because, frankly, it's a messy, tricky, slightly obsessive thing to be weighing synthetic creamy air puffs, but knowledge is power, people.

I saw an amusing thing this morning - a gaggle of about 8 male cyclists all - literally - busting a gut to try and overtake each other. Male cyclists really are funny (and yes, Lesley, other males too but at least not (often) in tight lycra) in that they mostly determinedly wear all the kit and zip along as fast as possible. I'm quite proud to not be in their gang.

Monday, 1 June 2009

A cycle of despondency

Cycling makes me feel healthier - but it's a kind of body dysmorphia. I cycle in with the wind in my, er, helmet and I feel vaguely that I must be healthy and slimmer than I really am; then I get in to work and realise I'm lumpier and frumpier than my happy imagination allows.

I don't think that I'm going to feel less angst about this until I've lost at least another stone - it's at that point that my clothes should start fitting again and that will make a big difference. It's extremely depressing to keep trying to squeeze into things that don't really fit and certainly don't look good - but I suspect that nothing's going to start looking good until I've shed that stone. Half of that stone is of course holiday weight but despite my vomiting kick start I seem to be back to my old tortoise pace of losing a little slowly - even with the cycling.

I shouldn't have weighed myself this morning, I know it now and I knew it then. I wondered -with hope in my heart - whether the cycle rides on Friday (going home was a real toughie) and 2hours 20 mins yesterday would have negated the dinner party and meant I'd lost a little more. But of course I'd put on a little. I need to only weigh at the end of the week since I am much better with the 'carrot' approach than the 'stick' - which tends to make me dispirited. Although as a friend pointed out, really, why would a rotten old carrot be a massive motivator? If if were a fairy cake, say, or a macaroon....

The dinner party was a success but I did drink more than I usually do and that may have resulted in my headache yesterday - although I am a headachy person and have a bad one right now (whimper). Either way, wine = calories so I should have eased right back and I'm still not sure why I didn't - despite my love for wine I am usually quite sensible. Anyway, let's hope that cycling most days and fitting in walks at lunchtime this week will mean a loss by Thu/Fri.

I'm still constantly diverted by cycling - men on bikes are so funny, they're consistently so desparate to overtake, even if that only means gaining an extra metre or so (well, we know that men see a small measurement as something impressive!) and will hurtle past, bulgy eyed with effort. Motorbikes and taxis are consistently rude, with motorbikes flouting as many traffic rules as they possibly can. Actually they're less diverting and more infuriating. I actually need to book my bike in for it's service but don't want to have a cycle free (and thus less calorie burning) day whilst I need it so badly, especially when the weather makes it so pleasurable to cycle (and so smelly on public transport!).