Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Salad hedonism and gritted teeth grumpiness

Despite severe provocation I have not exceeded my calorie count. This is despite bf being in a strop with me over something ridiculously minor, despite one of my managers (rude and stroppy at the best of times) getting on her high horse about me forgetting about some trivial process peculiar to this department and despite having a headache that has so far lasted 10 days. I can't tell you how much I crave the oblivion of chocolate, the distraction of that sugar hit and the moment where you are concentrating on that pleasure and forgetting all the crap. I don't think I'm exaggerating.

But I'm constantly aware of feeling and looking dumpy and frumpy and those feelings - although they also make me drawn to sugar - make me unhappy. I can see how easily a vicious circle could spring up here. And I'm finally losing some Cornwall weight - of the 11lbs I'd put on I now only have 3lbs til I'm back to pre-holiday weight. And then it's "only" another 10lbs til my clothes start to fit.

So I cycled yesterday, despite my headache which was sapping me of all energy and pep (cycling hungry is one thing - I do that every time - but cycling with a headache is really not much fun). And thanks to the tube strike tomorrow I think I'll have to cycle then too although I really don't want to cycle in the rain as it makes the road slippery and drivers more careless. And me more wet.

On the plus side, I found an excellent low cal - low everything - snack in M&S. They're mooli wraps (some sort of giant radish I believe) with prawns, mango and veg in. 30 cals for a little pack of 6 (85g so not big physically but psychologically it's a big deal). I had those and cherries as my afternoon snack. I don't feel any more kindly desposed to the world as a result but at least I'm not fatter - which despite the stereotype of jolly, kindly fat people, never fills me with the milk of human kindness!

Am off to Pizza Express tonight with the friend who is traumatising me by getting married next week. Love weddings, love the fact she's getting a 'happy ever after', hate the fact I have nothing to wear, the panic is mounting and I have no time to shop. Anyway, I have checked the Pizza Express website for calorie info - I can have a Pollo Verdure salad with dressing and dough sticks for 475 cals and still come in at 1223cals for the day! Although I should probably have the Pollo with dressing but no dough balls for 412cals but I'm going to BLOW those extra 63 calories, ooh such wickedness!


Lesley said...

Having a plan - that's everything isn't it? You can walk into that restaurant knwing that the slings and arrows of temptaiton can't touch you! (I may be slightly overstating this for poetic effect but you know what I mean...)

Well done on the cycling as ever and the mooli wrap sounds intriguing. I wonder how many years before such a creature is observed in the wild in Rotherham??!

Lesley x

Claire said...

Criminal! You have those dough balls girl! x