Friday, 5 June 2009

Shifty scales

I have re-branded my blog. I didn't however call in a team of consultants and pay a shed-load of money, I took a unilateral, sweeping decision. Ha, power! It's been a while since LighterLife and their amazing chemical dust and whilst I will always be grateful that it showed me that I could lose weight, I ain't ever going back there. So it felt a bit cheaty to have that as a title - hope you like the new, improved me!

Soooo, scales. Aren't they hell in a metal casing? I just have a basic pair. I used to have the electronic ones but they kept saying 'Lo'. I wasn't sure if this was biblical 'Lo but she doth weigh a heck of a lot', abbeviated text talk' Lo[ts]', or just an exclamation of strain as I stepped on them - the scaly equivalent of 'ouff'. But either way, they weren't giving me the numbers I needed, man. Or indeed numbers at all. So I bought a basic pair. But they're still schizo. Even today I was anything between x.8lbs up to y.1lbs. I'm being coy because it's more than I want to admit to (the x and y bit). So who the hell knows if it's coming off or not? I'm pretty sure it's not x.8lbs though, sadly.

What I DO know is that today I am ravenous and look certain to do just over 1400cals. This is bad but I can't see a way around it. I went out with a friend last night to Pizza Express where I virtuously had one of their new Pizza Leggeres (where they cut the middle out of the pizza, whack in some salad and it comes in as 500cals). Well, I don't know if that's the issue but she's starving today too. And then I found out I could have had a whole Pollo or Nicoise salad, dressed (although sadly sans dough balls) for c30cals less! Anyway, it was a good evening and my friend who is bilingual in American AND English did some translating from the US blogs I've been reading. Oh, and Lesley, apparently you're right - the fudgsicles are like very watery frozen chocolate and really not great. But low cal pop tarts are a whooooole different matter. Slobber, dribble. Bi-lingual friend gave me some lovely clothes and some fashion advice about a wedding and party coming up. But we didn't really get on to the topic of diets properly (she is expert in this too - the clothes were ones that fit her before she got all slender and svelte) - curse life for getting in the way. And isn't that always the way of it!

And what I meant to ask (among other things) - and I'm throwing it open to the floor people - is what I can do about my very saggy, wobbly bingo wings. They really are deeply unattractive. I thought the braced stance on the bike would do it but they're still shameful. Any ideas?

Although weary, and despite ominous grey clouds, I cycled in today in a further grim determination to get back into my (own) clothes (none of my jackets fit and I'm cold). The pillock pelaton were also out in force (and lycra and retina burning jackets) but I ignored their grunting, eye popping hurtle. And my pesky cycle (the other type) has only been 25 days this month so I cycled en blob. I wore knickers under my cycling knickers (more pants really) so I was kind of double bagged! Okay, this might be TMI as I believe it's called in blog-world.

I may get rather soggy cycling home - a glance outside reveals grey, chilly weather. It's JUNE, it's supposed to be sunny and stuff. I blame my mother, she's bought a load of BBQ stuff. And my brother who'd organised a picnic for my niece's 4th birthday this weekend. Gah. Still, at least if it continues like this I can keep my bingo wobble wings of shame under wraps.


Claire said...

I too suffer from BWOS (Bingo Wings of Shame). My plan is to buy some hand weights and just do weights all the time I'm watching the tv. Gotta have some effects surely? I'll keep you posted.

Lesley said...

Like the new title, you're just popping them out this evening - "Lo, but she weighs a heck of a lot" is my fave and will no doubt hit me every time my scale batteries run out (which seems to be every fortnight).

I also liked the "Pillock Peloton" and BWOS.

No idea what to do about the BWOS tho'. I also have quite a nice pair. They're not too bad if I stand with arms relaxed but hold them out they're beauts. Nicely set off by the small collection of stetch marks and some crinkley skin. Still, how often am I going to stand with arms outstretched as if being crucified?? Not often. I can live with BWOS!

You may or may not be comforted to know that your exploits on the bike have remoevd from me an excuse not to get on my own bike this evening. I had just about allowed my chimp to talk me out of exercise for today but now I read that you cycled into work and back today in the cold, no way....I'm on it!

Thanks chuck (I think)!

Lesley x

Lesley said...

Hi Peri. I've sent you an email to an old google account from ages ago. Not sure if you use it so let me know if you still need assistance getting hold of me. Otherwise I think you can email through blogger using the little envelope icon. I'll make sure to check that account.

Lesley x