Saturday, 31 July 2010

Stupid girl

That would be me.

Having pretty much starved myself most of yesterday in order to try one of the cupcakes I was baking for my god-daughter's birthday, and all the fretting and counting and scheming and worrying about the various food opportunities I'll face today, I then ate (a bit last night but mostly this morning) all the left over buttercream stuff topping from aforementioned cupcakes. It was a lot. About a large mugful I'd say.

Even if I could track this, I don't think I could bear to. I suspect that that alone would be more than my total points allocation for the day. And although I've got quite a few exercise points banked, its not the, er, point. I feel sick - physically and emotionally. I toyed with skipping breakfast to make up for it (yup, ate most of this before breakfast) but since it's mushrooms braised in extra strong marmite (US readers look away now!) on a piece of dry toast, I figure this won't take me anywhere but a huge sugar crash. I'm probably headed for that anyway. But I'm on here to stop myself eating more - as soon as I'd finished the last sickly spoonful, my thoughts were already turning to what I could eat next, since I'd 'blown it' already, and revising my plans for the rest of the day to have whatever I wanted (rather than the healthiest, lowest cal choices). I'm going to try to stick with my original plans for here on in and accept that I'm not likely to see a loss for another week (this time of course, it'll be my own fault). It's not a happy thought to blend with the sugar-shakes I'm experiencing.

On the positive side, at least the cupcakes were pretty good actually - this is the first time I've baked cupcakes and I always worry that whatever I've made won't be very nice. With cupcakes of course, you can actually try one. Although whether they'll think 22 is an odd number to bring.... (bf had one too of course!). They (the cupcakes) didn't behave as they were supposed to so I'm glad that they are nice anyway.

Finally, Amy - OF COURSE I forgive you! Nothing to forgive actually. You just scared me, that's all! My creme brulee was a pretty small one but thanks for the warning - I won't go there again (says she of the buttercream mountain).

Friday, 30 July 2010


Yes, the ‘punning’ title refers to a decision on the cycling front (do you see what I did there?!). The story so far.... Peridot saves 4 points every week day for a tad more indulgence at the weekend, Peridot cycles two hours into and back from work – she’s hungry on her restricted points (hell, she’s hungry on the full monte!) but what to do? She needs those points for the weekend but cycling home she gets the shakes each time.... Help comes from a variety of experts who add their thoughts...Pow! A decision – I will eat my 22 points on cycling days and allow myself 4 of the bonus exercise points for the weekend.

But I don’t want to dip into those exercise points too much – the chaos theory is alive and well and occurring on my tracker. 1 point and 1 point don’t necessarily make 2 – they could be 1.5, they could be 2.5 – they could be 2. It’s not helpful. And then there’s the whole issue over point discrepancies – it says online that a Caffe Nero skinny cappuccino is 0.5 point, someone else says that their book says it’s 1 point. If you had one or two every day (which admittedly I don’t), this would make quite a difference. So my saved bonus points are a buffer against those kind of oddities.

I did a stupid thing yesterday. I knew it would not be helpful, constructive or painless but I jumped on SoD anyway. My weight hadn’t changed – so that’s 10 days with no movement now (and even if Amy’s right on that crème brulee – and I SO hope she’s not, I had a mini freak out when I read that! – I’d still technically be under my earnt points balance). On the other hand, my mother’s scales this morning said I was 2lbs lighter. I like those scales so much more! I knew SoD had it in for me..... Well, we’ll see if they relent on the official WI which is on Tuesday.

This weekend is going to be tricky for me. Tonight I’m making cupcakes for my god-daughter’s birthday party tomorrow. I’m having a weeny dinner so I can have one tonight and I am sure I’ll have one at the party tomorrow too (all (roughly) pointed and on my tracker). My god-daughter wants chocolate cakes with pink buttercream toppings (she knows her mind, this girl (she’s 4...)). I found a lovely chocolate cupcake recipe but it had oodles of melted chocolate in – so for the sake of my waistline, I am using a basic chocolate cake recipe with cocoa making it chocolatey instead. I don’t think the children will mind and only I know what we’re all (potentially) missing out on! Then we’re having lunch tomorrow in Carluccio’s where I reckon all I can have is pasta puttanesca as having the lowest points (too afraid to have a starter!). And we’re out for Turkish in the evening (bf kindly suggested I choose somewhere to go with his friend so that I could choose a place which was as point friendly as possible). We’re going to Tas and I can have a chicken kebab and salad and a veg starter pretty comfortably (most Turkish food is really healthy – and delicious too). I looked up baklava – which I love – but at 11 points, I just dare not. Instead they do lovely reconstituted dried apricots with a little sweetened cream cheese and a nut stuffed inside. And I’ve volunteered to drive so that stops any wine temptation. And on Sunday we’ll have a long tramp round the British Museum to look at Assyrian and Hittite artefacts because....

We’ve booked a holiday to Syria in September! I’m very excited, despite my mother saying “but I thought holidays were supposed to be fun”! Her idea of a holiday and mine are very different – the thought of just lying on a beach or by a pool makes me twitchy and grouchy and she thinks going somewhere “so dangerous” is insane. I’m so lucky that bf and I have such similar taste in holidays – imagine if he just wanted to go somewhere bland and all-inclusive and play golf all day! No criticism if that’s your bag – I’m just glad that tramping round ruins and exploring other cultures (and eating their yummy food!) is our joint bag. And a holiday with no swimsuit trauma either! Which is an unintentional bonus. Although since all my skirts are knee-length and all my tops are short-sleeved and scoop necked (hussy as I am - unbeknownst to me up til now), it will require a new wardrobe of long skirts and all-encompassing tops. Apparently if you look European you will get stared at anyway – no matter how modestly you dress and I read that a tall, red-headed female was likely to draw the most curiosity... Well, two out of three ain’t bad!

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Peridot: nil points

Oh dear, it was easier to be flippant on Friday when I felt I still had a shot of a loss this week – today is Official WI day and I’d still lost zilch. It’s depressing – especially for me with my ‘instant gratification’ personality. I do feel that I worked hard all week and I want my reward! And next Tuesday just seems too long to wait – and worry – for the next result. Those hours I spent tracking (and re-tracking as the site crashed and crashed again) I’ll never get back! And I finished the week with 45 points earned through exercise and saved – I get 22 a day to put that in perspective.

This pointing malarkey is tricksey. I was 98% good at the weekend – my choices in the restaurant were governed by what I thought were the least damaging foods (except the pudding – a lavender crème brulee); my main was positively paltry (not poultry though – half a lobster with green salad). But I chose a duck noodle salad as a starter which came to a shocking (estimated) 6 points – it was a very modest (read: teeny) size! And I’m betting those cocktails were 2 points each (I had 4 over 2 days and counted them accordingly). All in all, I had the most points that I’d had to date on Saturday – with a rough aim of 26 points, I hit 37. I had enough ‘in the bank’ for this but I still feel a bit freaked out about it. And that was with a frugal breakfast and lunch. I actually cut my piece of cake in half on Friday and ate it over 2 days to manage my points – frankly, a superhuman effort for me – if not, strictly speaking frugal.

My exercise points came mainly from walking an hour most days last week, then 2 on Friday, 4 on Saturday and a 2 hour cycle yesterday. It’s therefore particularly galling that all this activity didn’t translate into a pound or two of lard. I’ve not cycled much this month so it was particularly tough going – especially with a new saddle. It felt and looked uber-soft in the hand – but not on the buttock! Still, an advantage of being a fatty is that the extra weight must help me to break it down and soften it up more quickly. It was my first time on the new cycle superhighway – what an utter let down; it was absolutely no difference except it’s now blue. And there are flags (which, call me picky but don’t add to my cycling experience). All that disruption and cost for a big, fat (blue) raspberry.

The tough bit now will be keeping going and not allowing this to take me off course – especially since I am really hungry at the moment (18 points a day doesn’t take you very far!). Bf wants to go to Wahaca on Saturday and I am simply afraid of the food! Afraid that I don’t know the points and it will be hard to estimate. Afraid especially of cheese and anything creamy. I have a few days to come up with a plan....

Friday, 23 July 2010

Situation normal

Phew, the world is back turning on its axis in its proper place. This morning SoD told me I’d lost a big, fat zero lbs today. Okay, it’s only 3 days since I last weighed but that’s 3 days on ration points, ready for a weekend on expanded points. I won’t give up quite yet – I think I need to just start weighing on a Tuesday, after a full WW week and dispense with my habit of weighing on a Friday (based on my firm feeling that the weekend does the most damage and therefore weighing as far away from that as possible would give the most advantageous reading)). And I may be catching up from last week's good loss. Either way, just to reassure you, dear Reader, that I'm not chucking in the towel at the first setback.

Maybe I’ll have dropped a bit by Tuesday. I will be walking tonight (hopefully) – c5miles, tomorrow: 10miles and Sunday a couple of miles. And I think and hope (and maybe pray a bit) that I will come in okay for points over the weekend – I have 12 to spare and I did it fine last weekend. Technically I have well over a day’s worth of points earned in exercise over the week too. I do like those there as a buffer though – I can count as carefully as I like but there’s always something unexpected that bites me on my (lardy) arse (small example is one nectarine being half a point - but if I eat 2 a day they’re suddenly 1.5 points and yesterday’s Leggera pizza is vague: it says that all these pizzas are 7.5-8.5 points which is not very precise when every half point counts! I counted 8 but am suspicious of my unerring ability to plump for - well, the choice that makes me plumper).

And – a confession. Yesterday I ate some sweets from the stash someone at work brought in. I seem to be incapable of resisting these. I had 4 marshmallows, 5 haribo and 5 jelly babies (which is me being ultra-restrained, people. AND I had one bite of home made cake and decided it wasn't worth the points and chucked the rest). I haven’t counted/pointed the sweets – partly because I can’t work out how and partly because I didn’t want to wreck my neat totals (yes, very bad – and dangerous - reasoning). I have mentally offset them against my huge stash of exercise credits for the week. It’s not good behaviour and I’m not proud (but they were delicious). It won't become a habit though.

This weekend sees a lot of walking. And BNF and the friend coming down to the tin hut tonight will be having a Ginger Pig pie – but I, martyr that I am, have bought myself a low cal/fat version from M&S, rather than risk guessing points in the dark (that would be the dark of blubber and fear). I also need to restrain myself on booze and point what I do have (tricky since friend is making mojitos – I found a dodgy reference to them being 1.5 points but I’m far from convinced (another reason to be grateful for those exercise points buffer)). And we’re going out to dinner tomorrow night which again leads me away from being able to control points consumed (or even know for sure). I am going to make the best choices I can (fish or meat and skip the carbs) and try and point as far as I am able. And I think I’ll have enough points for a pudd – hurrah!

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Curiouser and curiouser

I gulped in trepidation as I got on SoD on Tuesday after the weekend on expanded points. I had stuck to my points, but whereas I had been having 18 (to save 4), I was now having 26. On Monday this included a 7 point brownie! I also had wine, 2 magnums and a chinese takeaway (not what I would have chosen but pointed up and tasty) - not all at once I would add. And we did two 7 mile walks (I aim not to use bonus points earnt by exercise - as a buffer). But I reasoned that weighing on Friday gave me an unrealistic result because it didn't reflect the full points for the week. That's why I had to weigh on Tuesday too. And ....... I'd lost a bit more - bringing my total for the first 8 days on WW to a loss of 5lbs! I am incredulous. It's an odd sensation - usually I have the crushing disappointment and then the hope for the following week builds; this time I had the hope up front - a double serving if you will - and now I have the fear. I guess it's the fear of hope being dashed further down the road (read: Friday). I'm trying to quash both the fear and the hope and carry on - there isn't anything else I can do after all.

I'm back on the 18 points regime at the moment (hungry!), busily squirrelling points up for the weekend. And hoping for the best.

Friday, 16 July 2010

Points vs SoD

I ran feverishly through all variants in my head as I approached the lair of the Scales of Doom. Okay, so my period is due next week, that might be bad. And I haven’t cycled this week, that’s probably bad. And when I put on that skirt that’s fractionally tight yesterday, it’s still tight. But I have stuck to it and I have been hungry. SoD told me I lost 3-4lbs – it wouldn’t be drawn on an exact figure. I had a moment of such intense relief that it was almost a pleasure. Then I remembered, I couldn’t and mustn’t get too excited – I’ve been storing up points for the weekend in the manner of a squirrel hoarding nuts so I’m down on my total for the week. I may have to risk a further encounter with SoD on Tuesday to get a realistic picture for the week.

And thanks for all your tips - do please keep them coming, I really appreciate being able to learn from your expertise.

So, in a fit of daring, and knowing (if not feeling) that I’m a little bit less fat than last week, I put on a yet smaller lingerie set this morning – technically the same but they never actually do all fit the same, do they? This was particularly foolish since a) I’ve got a long day and b) I still had score marks on me from the cream set yesterday. It’s now 4pm and starting to feel a bit ouch. I imagine by 11pm I’ll be ripping it off in relief!

So, I’ve had a rough tot up of points (inc a Magnum and a glass of wine on both Saturday and Sunday) and appear to be coming in comfortably on (or even below) points, given an extra 4 for each day and some restraint required in the rest of the day. I say this tentatively as I know it might be much more difficult than it looks on paper – especially without access to my online tracker thing. I’ve put in what I can and written it down so I have a rough idea of what I’ve got left. We’re having a Chinese tonight so I’m armed with a list of points and I’ve been ultra frugal with my food so far. Consequently I’m absolutely starving and I don’t know if I’ll make it through to 10pm when we’ll be eating!

Hoping to get a couple of walks in over the weekend but trying not to ‘spend’ activity points. And lunches at the weekend are the trickiest since they’re nigh on impossible to plan ahead for – where will we be? What will we be doing? What will the options be?

But – even with these worries – the weekend now looms ahead, a whole glorious 3 days at the tin hut. Just me and BNF with no plans and no obligations. Except to have a great time. Hope yours is great too.

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Cocktail avoidance techniques

BNF and I had a bit of a row about money last night. It’s too wearisome to recount, especially on 4 hours of sleep, but the upshot is that I have cancelled my party. I feel a bit sad about this but there we go – I don’t have the money and I need to be thinking about saving for the wedding to boot. It’s just sucky timing that my 40th falls at this time – I should have been married for years by now! And also have grown out of saying things like sucky, possibly.

On the plus side, it means no precious points on cocktails tonight. It’s not an outstanding plus side but it does mean that I’ve come in very comfortably at 18 points today (assuming I don’t go mad and eat an avocado washed down with glugs of olive oil before the end of the day!).

I agree with Shauna that a diet system that demonises such things is all varieties of crazy, but there we go. When I was whinging about this before I started WW, I was grumping about joining a diet which tells me that marshmallows are better for me than avocado. I got advice (from Beth) that I just had to go with it and suspend [grumpiness]. I replied tartly that I was really looking forward to making a tricolore salad with marshmallows replacing the avocado. This was when I was young and naive and didn’t realise I’d also have to replace the mozzarella! More marshmallows? Mmmm, tomatoes and marshmallows – that classic combo! The Italians have NOTHING on this delicacy. Served naked, obviously (the tomatoes and marshmallows, not me) since I now know about the wickedness of olive oil.

So today I cut out the olive oil and I cut out the avocado and this has made a dramatic saving to my salad – now a mere half a point for leaves, cabbage, carrot, celery, pepper, cucumber and tomato. The half point is for a tbsp of balsamic vinegar; I couldn’t face my radioactive orange fat free dressing. I have even had so many points today that I had a Starbucks mocha light frappuccino (1.5 points) and can look forward to a Skinny Cow ice cream after dinner (ham and ratatouille). It’s a relief after yesterday’s hard slog to not be scrabbling around for points to save. Admittedly, I may not need them at the weekend as I have a rough idea of what I’m going to have - for breakfast and in the evenings anyway - and it's pretty virtuous, but a glass of wine would be lovely with my crab risotto (thanks Seren) – and my seabass and samphire. And there are those magnums if I have enough points! Yes, it’s all worth saving for.

Monday, 12 July 2010

I scream at ice cream

I’m struggling. Not even half way through day 2 on WW and I’m struggling. Today, the best I can manage is to hit points bang on – and I really wanted to be saving 4 every week day for the weekend.

I had my granola, strawberries and yoghurt breakfast – 4.5 points (although I’ve discovered I can have twice the amount of yoghurt for the same points so looking forward to tomorrow already!). Mid-morning I was starving and had a nectarine and 2 nairn’s choc chip oatcakes – 2 points. Lunchtime I’ve got a green salad (all 0 points except for the dsp of olive oil which is a shocking 1.5 points – and that’s cutting it down from a tbsp, and a QUARTER of an avocado for 1.5 points (I think avocado’ll have to go)) and a home-baked spiced chicken breast which all comes to 6 points for lunch. Then this evening I have two WW recipes that I made double of yesterday – goan prawn curry with rice (Rice! I can’t remember the last time I ate rice) and sag chicken - 7 points. And then 10g chocolate for 1 point. And unless I can manage all afternoon without a snack (of 1.5 points), I’m there at 22 points. How do I DO this? Where am I going wrong? I really need to be able to save those 4 points for the weekend.

Yesterday I KNOW – in retrospect – where I went wrong. At my mum’s she offered us a magnum. I did a quick calculation in my head and thought I had enough points with a bit of jiggery-pokery. Schoolgirl error – it was a Magnum Gold and was 7.5 points! I had to cut lunch out almost completely to compensate. It was not even that good. Unlike a Magnum Temptation (which a google search said was 6) which was utterly delicious, despite its hilarious reverent gold jewellery box style packaging. We have 2 in the freezer at the tin hut and I’m hoping to be able to have one of them at least (if I can persuade BNF to have the other).

And all this is before I tackle the big problem of how I keep a grip on points over the weekend when I’ll be away in the tin hut for 3 days (whoopee for 3 days, argh for points).

AND I have to go and drink 2 cocktails tomorrow. No, seriously, I do. I’m trying out cocktails for my birthday do. How do I point them? How do I keep to points that day? Let alone save some for the weekend. If only stress burnt fat....

Of course, it’s interesting that I’m struggling so much on my allocated points – I guess I have been over-eating all along without realising (and STILL being hungry).

Friday, 9 July 2010

Feeling Fruity

So, another week and another stellar result from SoD. Down 0.5lb. Yes, you read that right, a measly half a pound off. AND I’d cut my fingernails last night – that probably accounts for the 0.5lbs. It’s so frustrating that I could scream. Do you reckon that screaming burns many calories? Simmering rage and frustration doesn’t seem to.

One thing that definitely doesn’t help are fruit binges, the like of which I had yesterday: one big piece watermelon, half a portion of strawberries, 2 nectarines and a kilo (yep a whole kilo) of cherries. My sugar addiction is alive, well and prepared to thrive on fructose if nothing else is available. I had an abstemious 6 Percy Pigs from a communal supply yesterday ( That may not sound impressive (25/30 cals per oinker – and apparently ½ a point each) but I have been known to eat whole bags of these – they’re utterly delish. And even knowing that they contain, um, actual pig, doesn’t seem to put me off. That’s protein, right?

I bought and read the WW magazine. This is always troublesome since I don’t like to buy diet mags, in case the cashier hadn’t noticed I was fat up until that point! I managed to get it on a self-service till and smuggled it back. I am congenitally incapable of doing anything in a restrained or moderate fashion so am on a hell for leather on this – this weekend I’ll sign up and part with £30 I can’t really afford. I reckon Sunday is a good day to start somehow – gives me time to get to grips with the system. I am suspending all cynicism around avocadoes vs marshmallows and going for it hell for leather. I am at that stage I always am at the beginning of a new diet where I’m really hopeful that this time I’ve found the one; that this time it will work. But I know enough to have little faith that this is actually true.

PS Seren – can’t replicate what happened the week I lost 4lbs as this was a bout of some sort of gastric bug which kept me veeery close to a loo for 3 days. I have to say, it was more effective and actually more pleasant than Lighter Life but probably difficult to sustain every week! Not to mention the sick leave I’d incur. And I’d probably get a permanent ridge round my bottom where the loo seat left an impression. Not necessarily a deal-breaker but not something that would contribute to a fine physique.

Thursday, 8 July 2010

WWhat next?

I continue to plod, resentfully, on. I haven’t been able to cycle this week due to no saddle to park my arse on (ouch) but have done weights and quite a bit of fit-flopping. I have no faith that this will make any difference in my encounter with SoD tomorrow. I’ve also been pretty careful about what I eat (read: hungry) too. In a just world, I’d be looking at a respectable loss. But this is not a just world, it’s SoD’s world, grrr.

I just wanted to spend a few moments (inches?) answering some of your super-helpful suggestions from my last post. Firstly, a big THANK YOU to everyone who took the time and effort to comment; it really means alot to have this online supportive group of people who really know what it's like to be here and totally 'get it'.

So, Linz and Isabella both suggested upping the protein and I am definitely going to do that. It’s something I actually thought I was pretty good at already so I was interested to see this comment. I can only take on the eggs-for-breakfast comment at weekends as I eat breakfast at my desk in the week. I thought that the 50g of yoghurt and the nuts and seeds in my (low cal, home made) granola went some way to address this? If anyone has other suggestions of pre-prepared breakfasts I can eat at my desk, that would be great. I have had porridge with low fat soy milk, blueberries and coconut butter all through the winter but do feel I need a summer option!

Then Isabella, Claire, Seren and Boffcat all commented that maybe I wasn’t eating enough. Claire especially will know my fear on this since we share a similarly sluggish metabolism. But that strong theme, combined with some comments from a friend about the errors of my ways in saving up calories all week for the weekend and thinking exercise has sufficient impact to allow me to eat more, has brought me to a decision: I’m going to sign up for 3 months of Weight Watchers online.

I can’t say I’m thrilled to do this. I belonged to WW about 10 years ago (okay, it may have changed) when they devoted, for example, a whole session to asking us to name as many types of lettuce as we could (no-one came up with anything until I snapped and reeled off a dozen to stunned silence). And I fundamentally distrust any system which tells me that marshmallows are better for me than avocado. Much as I love them, I can spot the flaw in this argument, even if WW can’t.

So with that stellar attitude! No, I’ll give it a good shot and see what the impact of a more disciplined approach to food consumption is. I really think that unless I can shift this weight by my birthday next year, I’m going to have to go back to LL. Which, as my consultant thinks that is the reason for my metabolism going into reverse, is a scary thought. But I can’t go shopping for a wedding dress feeling such a lumpen frump(en) or I will literally implode with pain and grief. I keep catching sight of myself in mirrors and being utterly repulsed and overwhelmed with self-loathing. I tried to console myself yesterday that I was in a skirt that, prior to LL, I had 2 sizes bigger – and it was roomy – but it’s just shades of flab and it didn't convince me.

I’m also a bit discouraged by the whole exercise thing at the moment – a few of you, including Alice, wondered if I was doing too much? But surely that should translate into more (or any) weight loss? Sadly, I suspect my body isn’t thinking there’s a famine but is just being bloody awkward, and would be thrilled if I ate more, to busily lay down yet more fat.

AND! (And I’m outraged by this) I really think that with the weights my upper arms should look less revoltingly fat (I really wanted to keep my cardi on yesterday to hide their monstrousness but it was just too damn hot) and with all the flipping cycling that my legs should be good. BNF pointed at a weird veiny thing blooming on the side of my knee at the weekend “What’s that?”, I said it was some sort of weird veiny thing. “Well, it’s part of you and therefore lovely” he said, loyally. Lying bastard!

Friday, 2 July 2010

So blue I'm almost black

Right now I’m working very hard to not descend into a whirling, swirling vortex of panic, doom and depression. Those of you who perceive the hand of SoD in this are right: our little encounter this morning told me I’d lost nothing this week (having put on 5lbs last week). This is in a week of a 8 mile walk, a 5 mile walk, a 2.5 mile walk in fit flops, a lunchtime walk every work day in fit flops (I would guess about a mile and a half each day), 2 weights sessions and 3 cycle round trips of over 17 miles each. And okay, my eating over the weekend wasn’t brilliant, but since then I’ve been both exemplary and hungry.

I’m the same weight as I was before Easter. And okay that’s putting some on and losing it again but the scores on the doors remain thus:
· 1st, 5lbs heavier than the end of LL
· 2st heavier than my lightest weight

And this leaves me– I’m afraid – feeling fat and frumpy. And a tad despairing to boot.

I’d really appreciate your help, dear Reader. If I post yesterday’s food – and it was fairly typical – can you spot any glaring errors?

Breakfast – portion home-made low cal granola (183 cals, fact fans) with 50g 0% fat Greek yoghurt and half a dozen strawberries. This makes me hungry again almost as soon as I’ve finished it.
Mid morning – Starbucks Mocha light Frappuccino (just under 120 cals) and 2 choc-chip oatcakes (c80 cals)
Lunchtime – 4 Ryvita spread with low cal cream cheese and topped with smoked salmon and rocket. Sugar free jelly.
Mid afternoon – Bear granola nibbles (97 cals) and nectarine
Dinner – Big green salad (3 types of leaf, cucumber and tomatoes) drizzled with 1 dsp olive oil and 2.5 dsp pomegranate vinegar. Half a galia melon with a pack of parma ham. More strawberries. 2 dark chocolate Rococo discs.

Other options might be a Pret salad for lunch (c320 cals) and either fish and roasted veg, a prawn stir-fry (no rice or noodles) or a 2 egg omelette with low fat cheddar and mushrooms with salad as evening meals.

Where am I going wrong? I struggle to see how I could give more up - I'm hungry as it is. At the weekend I might have a glass or two of wine but generally resist more than one 'treat' whilst still trying to find something that bf and I can eat together without him feeling that he's confined to 'diet food'.

In other news: I forced myself to cycle yesterday, feeling quite tired from the previous day, but anticipating my encounter with SoD this morning. I got shouted and sworn at by 2 builders in a Fiesta who couldn't get past on the section of the road where my cycle path is closed (interminably) and we're forced onto the very narrow road. And as I almost reached home (thank goodness), my saddle broke and my left buttock plummeted in a strange and unpleasant sensation. I'm trying to tell myself that it's nothing to do with my heftiness - it's an old saddle I've had a long time and it has just corroded. Yes, it's the (big) spring that's broken. I've bought a new one today that's the closest you can get to an armchair on a bike. It seems despite my own prolific padding, I still need a good 4" of gel between me and the bike.

I must not let SoD ruin my weekend, I must not.