Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Weigh to go (not)

I was right to be scared, I was right to be pessimistic. Scales of Doom said I’d put ON 1lb. I don’t understand and I know it doesn’t reflect my efforts this week and so I don’t understand even more. It’s odd to feel betrayed by your own body. And I don’t know how often my poor wounded psyche can take this – the hope, the work, the fear and then the crushing disappointment. The nights spent counting up possible loss – by Easter could I be X? By the summer... by that wedding... by a holiday..... The answer seems to be a big, fat NO.

This is what I ate yesterday – does that tally with the gain? I THINK NOT

B – 1/3 cup porridge oats with half LF soya milk and half water and dsp flaked almonds. V8. Not sure it was enough porridge but I had ½ cup today and that was too much.
S – Rhubarb stewed with sweeteners and 3tbsp FF yoghurt
L – Home made trout pout soup (minus the lip irritant), SF jelly
S – 3 tbsp LF cottage cheese with head of chicory
D – homemade burgers with 1 slice LF cheese, mushrooms, tomato and 1tbsp LF mayo with green salad and ¼ avocado, dressing.
P – LF ricotta with cocoa and sweetener and small portion raspberries.

And I had a long and stressful day.

The gratitude thing can go to hell, the way I’m feeling now and I don’t think I’ll be able to post tomorrow on today’s things but, making an effort for yesterday:

1. Managed to miss the sports news on Today by drying my hair at this optimum time. This doesn’t sound much but I HATE their sports guy, Gary Richardson. He takes inane to a whole new low. For example, after Wimbledon last year:
Gary to winner: I bet you’re pleased you won then [note: not actually a question]
Winner: Er yes [or similar]
Gary: But don’t you also feel a bit sorry for [loser] – I mean he must have really wanted to win...
Winner: ????
Yep, incisive journalism all right. He must either be related to someone OR be blackmailing them – there’s no way he got or keeps that job through merit.
2. Resisted whole box of amazing smelling cookies. POINTLESSLY as it turns out. And on a stressful day (yes, I know I already mentioned that)
3. No idea

In fact THIS is the way that today is shaping up, an ungratitude trio:

1. GAIN of 1lb. I think I’ve conveyed my anger and upset and disappointment with this.
2. I had to have a surprise photo for a pass – I look like an elderly convict. Who hasn’t slept for a week and has been on the run. Disguised as a bag lady.
3. I hate the skirt I’m wearing and my bra is stabbing me in the side of my boob if I shift posture.
4. And...and.... +1lb.

Things are really going to have to turn around for me to be able to say anything nice tomorrow.


Call me Ishmael said...

Aaaarrrgghhh Peridot! Scales suck. They suck, suck, suck! Throw it out the window! I hate those things. Look, they hardly ever cooperate with our hopes and wishes, so just put that stupid machine on the back burner and keep on with what you are doing. And I'm 100 percent sure you do not look like a bag lady/escaped convict or anything similar. I'm quite sure you are lovely and funny and generous, and probably the person in the office who lights up the room and everyone misses when they are gone. That's my impression anyway, for what it's worth!

Linz M said...

Try not to get too pissed off, scales are the work of the devil. I'm sure you'll see the rewards soon.

I'm sure you don't look like a bag lady either!


Lesley said...

Yowzers! That's a zinger of a post....very nicely written so that I REALLY feel your pain.

It's snapshot. It will be reversed. Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

As Mrs L would say....((((((big hug)))))) (we all need a hug after a nasty scale day)

Lesley x

Claire said...

Oh I SO sympathise. xxx