A heavy heart

I didn’t want to weigh myself this morning. I didn’t feel any different and I was afraid that a derisory loss – or, worse, no loss at all – would not help with my mood, morale or willpower. But knowledge is power and all that and I knew I had to do it. I told myself that I shouldn’t expect much, I know how resistant my body is to losing weight and I didn’t feel any slimmer so not to be too disappointed. It was with a heavy heart though that I dragged my scales out and took them into the kitchen (not for any other reason than that it has a hard floor). I blinked at the dial – 5.5lbs off! I got off, I fiddled with the wheel that controls the dial. And I got back on. 6lbs lost. So now you know, the difference between a heavy heart and a light one is ½ lb!

I’m very pleased. Confused and cautious but pleased. I don’t think I lost much more than this on my first week of LL (actually 7.5lbs but even so I was on chemical dust then!). I know last week I was pre-period and this week I’m just coming to the end AND that it was the first week after Christmas eating but, but, but.... I have to say I have been exemplary – if rather sulky – in resisting a plethora of office goodies: those cookies, homemade cupcakes (with a BIG buttercream swirl, yummy), Haribo and today Ferrero Rocher. But, but, but....

Well, long may this continue, that’s for sure. Maybe, when I’m cycling, I could hope to lose ½ stone a month? Like, I don’t know, a normal person, maybe? That would be wonderful.

So I reckon my coat (which is admittedly not very warm) is only ½ stone away from fitting and my lingerie about a stone. Actually that’s still some way off I guess (get a grip woman!). But M&S bras do not fit well – they dig painfully in to my shoulders which should not be carrying all the boob-weight. A properly engineered bra does not do this. I got a coat from ebay yesterday. It’s a bit tatty but was only just over £10 and it nearly fits. The last button is pulling slightly and it doesn’t look good (or consequently feel good) but it almost fits and it’s warmer than my cropped jacket. And who knows, by next week, maybe it will fit a little better? Ooh I hope I’m not jinxing myself!

I thought I’d post my meals for yesterday – then it’s actually what I ate rather than what the shops dictate I can eat despite any carefully laid plan I may have to the contrary.

B – thing called ‘mock oatmeal’ which is quark, an egg and flavouring, nuked. Not very nice but I may have over-nuked – will persevere before I dismiss. V8 at home before I left.
S – skinny cappuccino
L – Trout pout soup (see yesterday) and edamame beans
S – 2-3oz LF cottage cheese with a head of chicory
D – homemade chilli (lean mince, onion, tomatoes, refried beans, kidney beans) with a green salad (with oil and balsamic dressing), small portion home-made guacamole, tsp salsa, tbsp FF yoghurt, tbsp LF cheese.
P – SF jelly (cream-less)

Btw Badger, I have read we can have sugar free hot drinks and people do say they have hot chocolate. So I’ve had the odd low cal instant hot chocolate. But I have the fear now... Hmm, indecision, paralysis – eek!

Three good things for yesterday (guess what no1 of tomorrow’s will be?!):
1. Resisted cupcakes though it nearly killed me
2. Resisted squirty cream though it nearly killed me (don’t care it’s chemical, Lesley, it’s YUM)
3. Got a new book to read and my email(and real-life) buddy back (I’m already annoying her with 100 emails a day – I’ll drive her back to another continent at this rate!)

I have a painful work 'do' tonight that will be (as I said to aforementioned friend) hell on a stick. Actually usually hell on a spit roasted stick. I will have to do this without alcohol or (admittedly crappy) canapés. I’m praying for a sudden blizzard in SW1. Failing that I will try and focus on my 6lbs and not on the inane smalltalk I’ll be forced to engage in. Gaaaaah.