Tuesday, 25 January 2011

A reversal of fortune.

I have the January blues. Yesterday I had a meeting with my boss where she implied that someone I manage is better than me and that I’m not doing a very good job. She did it so cleverly that I didn’t even twig until some hours later. And now I can’t shake the feelings of inadequacy. It may be true but it’s not helpful and I have gossamer thin self-esteem which is rather shredded. I am not a bouncer back (although in other respects I do resemble a space hopper)

And then we come on to dieting. Because it’s January and it’s all about dieting and work. And debt. Let’s not go there though. Soooo, does this sound reasonable to you?
Friday am – Fat.2lbs
Saturday am – Fat.0lbs (admittedly after 24 hour gastric bug)
Monday am – Fat.1lb
Tuesday (today) am – Fat.2lbs

Does it? Does it? Isn’t it – in fact – going in the wrong direction? Okay, I knew I’d put some of the post-gastric weight back on but to be nowhere this morning after a 6 mile cycle ride and an 18 mile cycle ride? No-one say anything about miraculous muscle built or I’ll have to rip your head off. Yep, that’s me today.

I have enforced separation from the scales until Friday now which is probably just as well but there will be tantrums, tears and all manner of emotional fall out then if I am not Fat.0 – or ideally Porky.13. Especially since I go to bed hungry pretty much every night and wake up hungry too. Not starving but uncomfortable. Silly how these things can get you down.

PS I am not cool. Fact. It’s official now though – caught for perpetuity on the ether. I thought my post title yesterday was soooo witty. And then halfway home (no sleet! No rain!) yesterday I remembered that it’s Children of the Revolution. Ah well, not keen on 70s music – it’s only that it’s on bf’s ipod that I’ve even heard of it.

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