Thursday, 27 January 2011

Counting my blessings

So, it’s easy to get down at this time of the year I think. I’m trying to count my blessings (and not blub in the office). I’ve been thrown off-kilter by my capricious boss who’s decided not to like me and to make it plain that she finds me very much wanting. I don’t need to be liked (well, okay, maybe a bit) but yesterday she returned the same piece of work to me 4 times and then completely re-did it anyway; I felt worthless and inadequate. She didn’t do it pleasantly either and is giving me a very cold shoulder. One of the things that I despise about myself is that I’m a people-pleaser and I wish I could change that about me; I wish I could grow that thicker skin that bf not infrequently says I need. But this sort of thing turns me inside out with misery. Hence trying to count my blessings for today in the midst of the chilly atmosphere. I even investigated whether I could voluntarily demote myself – it would seem not. Anyway...

1. I would much rather work was wretched than home – I know where my priorities lie. Although I do need the filthy lucre of course.
2. My oyster card had run out of juice today – and the man driving the bus waited for me to jump off and buy a ticket (okay, for £2.20 and I have no idea where my credit’s gone but I appreciate his kindness. Even if the rest of the bus didn’t!)
3. And when I collided with the coffee machine after buying myself a skinny cappuccino this morning, they topped it up for me voluntarily, without so much as a sneer
4. I don’t look like my mum who, in using a new very expensive Clarins base “packed full of nutrients” has become so violently allergic to it that she looks like Mickey Rourke. After a bar fight.

I really wanted to treat myself with food yesterday, I was so miserable. But I didn’t. I couldn’t really think what I wanted which could easily have resulted in me eating everything I could think of to see whether it would make me feel better. Even momentarily. So the Scales need to be kind to me tomorrow – I deserve it and I could do with a pick-me-up. Are you listening, Scales?

Especially since I can’t escape work – I’m working overnight tonight (involves some work early evening and early tomorrow morning before the day starts (from 6am) – and it’s nothing remotely glamorous, Ish) as well as tomorrow and on Sunday too. Still, my boss isn’t around then so that makes for a less tense atmosphere. Another blessing!


starfish264 said...

Oh bless - sounds like you've had a rough couple of days! Good move on counting the blessings though - I've had to employ the same positive thinking tactics myself the last couple of days. Also, well done on not going on a misery eating exercise - I always feel that's something I can add to my plus list when I'm feeling crap - "well, at least I didn't go bonkers on the food!".

Lesley said...

What a bitch!! It's horrible when you have a rotten boss. I know, mine is a dick but he doesn't seem to weild as much power as your mini Hitler.

You are great hon so don't listen to someone who is probably just bolstering her own self esteem at your expense.

Fingers crossed for a better to the end of the week!!

Lesley xx

Seren said...

Bosses are a plague, aren't they? My last one was a matey-matey type who then turned out to be a bit of a bar steward during my in year was if he was lulling me into a false sense of security!!!

Well done on not taking refuge in food. I'll keep fingers and toes crossed that you get your reward on the scales.


Call Me Ishmael said...

Oh, hateful bosses are the worst. I hope you can step back and put this one in perspective. I say, if she's not invited to your wedding, her opinion of you is not all that important, right?