I have a fashion/style/good taste conundrum and I am looking for guidance. Let me start at the beginning – are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.
Once upon a time – okay, this Christmas – my mother bought me some sheepskin boots (yes, Uggs I’m afraid – I’m anti overly exposed brands but she couldn’t get me Celtic Collection ones from Cornwall so generously paid through the nose for these). Now, I will happily wear them with a knee length skirt, opaque tights but I’d quite like to wear them with jeans. I wear bootleg jeans normally – being, as I sadly am, short of leg, wide of hip and stout of girth. So it was with some trepidation that I bought a pair of “slim legged” jeans. Note: not skinny – I could be prosecuted for fraud if I wore skinny jeans.
I just can’t work out if I can actually get away with them or not. I tried them on (they fit which is a start I guess) and then took them off. My short legs hold their shortness in the thigh area – and what they lack on the vertical, they more than make up for on the horizontal. My calves are fine, but my thighs are what could charitably be called chunky. Now, I would only ever wear ANY jeans with a long top – I guess upper thigh length or longer if I could. But does a short, fat, size 16, with an over-endowment of thigh, have any business wearing slim leg jeans tucked into Ugg boots? Discuss please.
In other news: my engagement ring now fits fine and I am – just – back in my 16 jeans. They’re pretty tight but no muffin top and they’re a better fit than the 18s – phew. Yesterday I had a blip where a colleague brought me in homemade millionaires’ shortbread from his fiancée to thank me for sending her my bridal mags every time I’ve read them. But I ask you: what B2B (not Business to Business as I thought, but the nauseatingly vile Bride to Be. Don’t worry, I will never refer to this again) sends another 5 squares of delicious yet evil calories? Reader, I ate 3 over the course of a horrendous and stressful day (the 3 smallest, mind!) and took the last 2 home where I watched bf eat them with jealous and rapt attention. I skipped some other points in the day to compensate and added them to my tracker – I have plenty of bonus points so it should be okay and yet I feel guilt. Maybe it’s a pavlovian response to the taste of sugar.