Wednesday 29 July 2009

Chaos theory

I am the living proof of the chaos theory. No, I'm not talking about my hair or even my sentence construction (although perhaps I should be..) but numbers. Maths . And worse, calories.

On Monday I was off sick with a migraine. Despite feeling pretty grim, I was rather pleased when I woke from my drug induced sleep to find it was 1pm and I'd not eaten. I then had breakfast (yoghurt and granola) and some fruit and generally picked (at healthy stuff). Then I had to go to the dentists (dentist AND migraine -what a Monday!) and when I came back I thought I'd enter my food consumption in the ever severe Food Focus to check how many calories I had left for the day. I was umm-ing and uhh-ing about whether I'd even bother to eat my full 1200 cals - maybe I'd leave it at c900 cals (which is what FF tells me I must have if I am to lose 2lbs a week and have not exercised). Except! When I added in what I had eaten and what I intended to eat it added up to 1216 cals! Bah! Boo! Grr! I thought that as I'd skipped a meal I'd be quids (read cals) in but a cereal bar and some fruit meant otherwise. It's a salutory lesson. Sigh.

And I'm feeling rather down about the whole weight-loss marathon. It's feeling like a slog with no reward (which of course, is tempting me sugar-wards). I'm a maximum of 1lb down since my holiday of 3 weeks ago. Okay, my period is due at any moment but I can't believe it's going to make 5lbs difference. I cycled yesterday despite my usual pre-period exhaustion, telling myself grimly that I must be working all the harder to get in, feeling so tired and I would reap the rewards. I was c0.5lbs heavier today. I've even irked my mum by telling her I'm cycling to and from work on Friday before I go over to her house that night to get some extra exercise in. Feels a bit pointless at the moment...

I am seeing a friend tonight who is wise in the ways of weight loss - she's a double bonus because not only has she successfully lost her weight but she has a real interest in the subject. She still has to work at it and has my affliction of piling on weight when living in normals-ville. So she is wise but not smug and is really living the skinny dream (although she may not think so!), give or take the odd holiday - she's my role model. I'm hoping she has the answer but I think that might be putting on too much pressure!

3 comments:

Lesley said...

Hi Peri. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling low about the dieting thing. I know it seems like a terrible slog. I'm trying to think about whether there's anything I learned from Steve that might be of assistance. He was adamant that it need not be a constant battle. His theory is that if YOU decide that what you want is to eat healthily and lose weight and persuade your chimp (emotional side) to come on board with that, you won't miss all the nice stuff and there is a certain amount of truth in that.

The other more practical thing he suggested to one of the other women is not to calorie count because your chimp will learn to "bargain" with you and cheat you by sneaking extras in here and there which will slow you down and get you disheartened. This is what happened with Lyndsey and she stopped counting and set herself "rules" about what she could and couldn't eat and found it much easier.

I wonder if that might help?

It seems that calorie counting, especially when linked to exercise as well makes it all rather joyless.

I know you struggle to drop weight though so don't want to be critical or anything, just thinking there might be a happier way.

Retraining the mind to want less....

That seems to be what I'm in the process of doing, first with Beck and now with this chimp stuff. Hope it'll work.

Keep it up and you'll get there.

Lesley xx

Mrs said...

Hey Peridot

Thanks for your message. What is living the skinny dream ie what does it mean for you? And how is your friend managing to do that?

Lesley's comments are definitely food for thought!

Big kiss.

Mrs Lard xx

Mrs said...

Hey Peridot

Thanks for your message. What is living the skinny dream ie what does it mean for you? And how is your friend managing to do that?

Lesley's comments are definitely food for thought!

Big kiss.

Mrs Lard xx