I am the living proof of the chaos theory. No, I'm not talking about my hair or even my sentence construction (although perhaps I should be..) but numbers. Maths . And worse, calories.
On Monday I was off sick with a migraine. Despite feeling pretty grim, I was rather pleased when I woke from my drug induced sleep to find it was 1pm and I'd not eaten. I then had breakfast (yoghurt and granola) and some fruit and generally picked (at healthy stuff). Then I had to go to the dentists (dentist AND migraine -what a Monday!) and when I came back I thought I'd enter my food consumption in the ever severe Food Focus to check how many calories I had left for the day. I was umm-ing and uhh-ing about whether I'd even bother to eat my full 1200 cals - maybe I'd leave it at c900 cals (which is what FF tells me I must have if I am to lose 2lbs a week and have not exercised). Except! When I added in what I had eaten and what I intended to eat it added up to 1216 cals! Bah! Boo! Grr! I thought that as I'd skipped a meal I'd be quids (read cals) in but a cereal bar and some fruit meant otherwise. It's a salutory lesson. Sigh.
And I'm feeling rather down about the whole weight-loss marathon. It's feeling like a slog with no reward (which of course, is tempting me sugar-wards). I'm a maximum of 1lb down since my holiday of 3 weeks ago. Okay, my period is due at any moment but I can't believe it's going to make 5lbs difference. I cycled yesterday despite my usual pre-period exhaustion, telling myself grimly that I must be working all the harder to get in, feeling so tired and I would reap the rewards. I was c0.5lbs heavier today. I've even irked my mum by telling her I'm cycling to and from work on Friday before I go over to her house that night to get some extra exercise in. Feels a bit pointless at the moment...
I am seeing a friend tonight who is wise in the ways of weight loss - she's a double bonus because not only has she successfully lost her weight but she has a real interest in the subject. She still has to work at it and has my affliction of piling on weight when living in normals-ville. So she is wise but not smug and is really living the skinny dream (although she may not think so!), give or take the odd holiday - she's my role model. I'm hoping she has the answer but I think that might be putting on too much pressure!