Group toughies

Lovely Mrs has been asking about my group etc. They are hard-core toughies! But nice ones. There were 7 of us I think on Sunday and a couple were away. They've all being on LL continuously (bar a couple of holidays), no returners - and they seem to have lost anything from just over 3st (like me! But this girl is at goal now and moving to RtM) to 6st+. The LLC is very clever, she just nudges the conversation along to make it more productive than a just a chat. It's pleasant because it does feel natural, like a chat, but you come out of it with things to think about.

I don't feel more confident this time around and I am finding tough still, but I think that I almost proved to myself whilst away from LL that this is the only way I can do it. CD made me realise how comparatively pleasant LL packs are - really glad I tried the CD ones though. And IPD made me realise that I can't lose weight that way - but I still believe in it as a permanent way of eating (or sensible low-carb/low GI) and will return there. Because I'm such a perfectionist I suppose, I still beat myself up mentally about slip ups - today I ate one (very small plain) biscuit and 2 marshmellows. I resisted the entire tin of chocolate biscuits (M&S Belgian if you're interested), the lemon cake and all the sweets but all I can focus on is the fact that I failed today. It's a vicious cycle - I ate something bad (chewing gum the other day) and knocked myself out of ketosis so I'm hungry, which makes me more likely to eat something, which keeps me out of ketosis which keeps me hungry. I'm not in the office tomorrow or the next day and that will mean no sugary temptation laid in my path which will be a relief.

I did my second run of the week this week. I still really don't enjoy them Lesley, would that I had been bitten by that particular bug! It was sooo tough this morning - I think the toughest yet. My legs were like lead and I had to haul myself round. I didn't get enough sleep last night which didn't help I guess. I got myself round by telling myself that I had to be burning my (extensive) fat reserves - on an empty stomach (particularly so) and feeling so exhausted must be a sign that I had nothing readily available to use as fuel.

I'm on duty tonight so not enough sleep tonight either. I will go back to bed when I hand over but when I get up at lunchtime tomorrow I'll do run 3 for the week - and I'm dreading it. Hopefully it will be easier. I just feel terribly tired generally, just sitting here, let alone running! And hungry. But tomorrow, as Scarlet said (not a girl with waistline problems mind you!) is another day..