Patience is a virtue

Happy Valentine's Day. I hope it IS a happy day for you - it's rather one of those days where the weight of expectation (your own and everyone else's) can be rather heavy and cumbersome. Anyway, I'm especially thinking of my lovely friend Willowy R, Mrs L and Lesley whose husbands are away. Love comes in many forms girls! Sending some your way.....

Bizarrely today is my consultation on hypotherapy (and first session afterwards if I'm happy) - exorcising my love (passion!) for sugar?! But I DON'T want to do the Paul McKenna thing of associating chocolate with maggots, burning rubber or the like - I do still want to enjoy it but I don't want to use it to self-medicate when I'm stressed and/or fed up by shovelling sugar down my throat like a foie gras goose. I am wary - not least because of the cost (more on that later) but it would be so wonderful to feel more in control. I shall try and update tomorrow.

I've only lost 1lb. I don't know quite what is going on as I'm being virtuous. The only thing that may have thrown me off course is our team lunch two days ago. If you remember I selfishly vetoed the others' desire for pizza and we went somewhere I could practice damage limitation and get a salad. The food wasn't great and the salad was a modest size - but to me of course it was exciting because it was food! Everyone else had pudding and I managed to resist by promising myself a creme egg instead - and I did have one and enjoyed it (I eat them in a particularly vile way as it's the fondant I really like so like to get the chocolate out of the way and end on the high note of the fondant!). Not ideal but the lesser of evils. So, I'm assuming that's why I've only lost 1lb - and our Valentine's Day meal chez nous tonight won't help (no blow out but food nonetheless). Sigh. Keeping plodding on though - hurrah for me. Humph.

I also am having to battle against the fact that my heart has rather been stolen by the Idiot Proof Diet. I've read all the stuff voraciously and visit the forum pig2twig.com (and no, I didn't steal their idea for my blog - I'd not heard of it then) and I feel excited to get going on it. Ketosis continues but with food - and healthy too. They also consider sugar to be 'the devil' which I think is true for me in any case. I'm not a patient girl and am entirely too into instant gratificiation and I really want to get going on that now but I'm not going to until after Easter. We have a couple of meals/social events in March and I think they'll be easier to manage by getting back on packs right afterwards and losing the most I can that way (although at the rate I'm going at the moment that will be an issue). It will feel easier if I start having a few chunkier losses!

Next week will be a pure, no food week - nothing after tonight until our newly affianced friends come to dinner on 1st. They're mildly annoying me - she's decided she doesn't want people looking at her so will probably go home to Oz to get married (clearly everyone there closes their eyes at weddings!). I do wonder too if this means that despite living here for about 10 years whether she really has built up a network of close friends here - surely you'd want them at your wedding? But option 2 is a quiet registry office do over here with no-one there (joyless in my opinion). Of course they must do what makes them happy (although my friend N apparently has no say in any of this!) but I have to grit my teeth as I feel she's wasting an opportunity I'd kill for (her at the moment!). Must be nice and not tetchy when we meet them for a drink early Saturday night to congratulate them. And of course, not look at her!