Is virtue its own reward?

NO. And if you're still not sure about my opinion on this - NO, NO, NO.

So, I've been a good Peridot since Friday. Lots of walking, scant food. So I should see some rewarding shift on the scales, yes? No. Apparently not. Nada, nothing, rien. So, three days of being good (food-wise but generally too!) and walking in on Friday and a 6 mile walk yesterday, today I am STILL the same weight. This. Is. Not. Fair. And if I'm still the same weight on Wednesday (and I can't see how I possibly will be) I will have to re-think my options.

As it was, still sunny of disposition, at the weekend I read the whole of India and Neris' Idiot Proof Diet and decided that when I'm 1st - 1st7lbs off target I will swop to their diet. I think it will work really well with VLCDs as you basically maintain ketosis by keeping carbs down - and then gradually re-introduce them after you've only got a stone or less to go. It's not Atkins with the emphasis on lard rather than veg and it seems to have a dramatic success rate. And the best thing is that you get to eat! They don't approve of you being hungry! They also think that (refined) sugar is "the devil" which is does rather seem to be for me. A beguiling devil that I'm determined to master. But I suppose I could start this earlier if I can't shift on CD - to be honest I'd rather get rid of another stone and a half (which would take me to c another stone and a half off target. Albeit a target which sounds incredibly unachievable) but I can't live like this and not get the payback. I do find it tough, I don't like it but I deal with it because I desparately want to shift as much weight in as little time as possible. Quite how this fits in with my decents into sugar-hell, I don't know. Clearly it doesn't.

And so we come to hypnosis. I think I will try this. I really can't afford it and it will have to be kept secret from b/f which I feel really uncomfortable and unhappy about - and which if he finds out about he will go balistic - but I really, really need some help. Ideally help from within myself that I can replicate. My concern is that I'll start it and then really find I can't cope with continuing to pay - but I've now got it down to £58.50 a session! Every little helps? Tesco says it so it must be true. Hmmm.

Running - also have to buy some shoes (cheap as I can get running shoes from - looks like I might be able to get a half price pair from J D Sport for £35 - if they do actually have them in the shops as well as in their promotional material), a decent sports bra and some very very cheap kit. But it's all money! Money I don't have! ARGH! Makes me feel tense. Which is an improvement (psychologically) on when I spent with abandon I suppose, but more stressful.

By the way, Mrs L, you asked about my running colleague C. She was doing other exercise but said it didn't seem to help at all with running. She found the second week where she had to run for 2 mins, walk for 3 so exhausting that she had to stop after each run, rather than walk! She says she absolutely hates running but it lets her scoff chocolate and sweets and keeps her slim (you can see her point). Thanks Karen too - have printed off the couch potato thing and looked at the site generally but had already ordered the book in any case! And b/f and me are on for starting running in March. We've got the newly affianced N&F (she said yes, no big surprise) for dinner on 1st March and we'll start the week after that. Gulp.