Thursday, 22 January 2009

Pain in the....head (and possibly ass - figuratively speaking)

Yesterday was not a good day. I intend to keep a food diary when I start on DC (not on here, don't worry) but if I had kept one for yesterday this is how it would have looked:
  • 2 LL packs
  • 2 slimfast bars
  • ham
  • melon
  • probably close to a whole packet of Haribo Tangfastics
  • 2 biscuits (chocolate shortbread type)
  • 2 caramel M&S mini bites
  • 4 kir royales
  • bread and dips (c 2 slices)
  • cold meats
  • piece of brie

Not a good day. Mrs is right that there aren't really any excuses for this, just an undertaking to move on and not repeat such bad behaviour.

But it meant that I was determined to do another run this morning to try and negate some of the damage. I woke up with a headache but ran regardless. I got back and showered and by this stage I knew I had to take something hardcore for my head. I had a LL bar so I could take my uber-paracetamol (prescription) but by the time I'd had a bar, I realised that the headache was developing into a migraine. I took a hardcore migraine drug and went to work. By 10am I had to take another migraine drug and at midday I took a third (I've never taken more than 2). It's now 5pm and it's not gone.

I had to come in and get a piece of work done and meet up with a former colleague or I'd have called in sick. My new line manager was supposed to complete a part of the document which pushed me into coming in and I thought I'd leave after that. He's just told me that he's not going to do it until tomorrow. He knows I'm ill but hasn't commented. His sick record is not illustrious so you'd think he'd be a bit sympathetic.

At least I was here when the former colleague came in to show off her baby - she's up from the countryside where she's relocated. Thank goodness I was able to honestly say that the baby was beautiful! She wanted to go for lunch so I went to Pizza Express with her as being the most baby friendly option and had a salad. I don't feel too bad about this as I (obviously) wanted a pizza but had the virtuous option (I didn't eat all the bread sticks that came (unannounced) with the salad - but I did eat 2 which was 2 more than I meant to). I'll just have some chicken and chicory tonight as lower in calories than my double pack (although that in turn means delaying my DC start until Monday as I have to use my LL packs first). And I need to run tomorrow if I can shake off this migraine, even though I definitely felt creaky after my run today - that will make it 4 times this week. It's got to help. It's got to burn some fat stores - hopefully more than I'm laying down.


Lesley said...

You sound quite down to be honest. Can you try and look at the positive and focus on what you WANT achieve out of all this effort. It might be a little cheerier than focusing on the negative/deprivation side of things. Look at some nice skinny pics of yourself (and DON'T beat yourself up about being fatter than that!!) but think how nice it would be to be back there again and start thinking about what you need to do to get there. It just all seems very hard work and chore like.

Just a thought chuck - good luck and well done with the running!

Lesley x

Lesley said...

Thought again about what I wrote and wanted to add that I don't mean to be critical at all - I just wanted to see if there was any way you could try and reframe the negativity/deprivation angle of dieting to emphasize the positive side of it.

And, I hope you feel better soon chuck - I should definitely have said that in my first post!!

((((((big hug)))))) (but not breathing in your nasty

Lesley x

Mrs said...

Rock on, Peridot. You have run FOUR times this week - I really want you to give yourself a MASSIVE pat on the back.

Lesley's right - more praise (for yourself) for doing things.

I think NOT having pizza at Pizza Express is just AWESOME.

And a migraine is NO FUN whatsoever - pain is just hideous.

Our new mantra has to be praising ourselves for all the little things we do that add up to a BIG thing.

Learnings, learnings, learnings!!!

With love

Mrs Lard xxxxxxxxx