Tuesday, 15 July 2008

How low can you go?

Feeling really fed up and down about this diet. I am so fed up of not being able to eat and the impact that that is having on my life. I think (hope) that this is just a stage - like it works with commuting - first you have the initial novelty factor to get you through, then you have the disgruntled hating it stage, then you hit acceptance. I'm in the disgruntled phase but I'm hoping to hit numb acceptance any day now. I'm certainly not going to quit - even with the nibbling (which is bad and which I beat myself up about regularly) and the s-l-o-w losses (3-4lbs on my scales, 2.6lbs on LLC scales) I AM going to continue until about 25th August and see where I am then when I'll be eating for about a month. So I have another 5 weeks or so, come hell or high water. Or come cake or chocolate!

And this weekend we're going to friends for the weekend which means I'll be eating Saturday night, Sunday morning and in all probability Sunday lunchtime too. The demon on my shoulder keeps saying 'oh go on, have a chocolate bar, you'll be eating at the weekend anyway' but I am hanging on in there. I will have to accept that I won't lose weight this week as my glycogen levels will be up and I mustn't let that derail me for next week.

People in my whacky group talk about the high they get on abstinence - and they speak of it as a physical high, not a psychological one. I don't get that - I wish I did. I don't get an endophin rush when I exercise either. Not fair!

I didn't run this morning either because I felt so weak and tired - then I came on, 2 days early so that explained that. Not that I'm happy about a 26 day cycle. Will see how I feel for Thursday's run. Bless you Mrs, for persisting in thinking of me as some kind of dedicated athlete - but if I channeled the feeling I get when running for danger food moments I would feel cross, resentful, sulky and puffed out. In fact, three of those are pretty spot on!


Lesley said...

HI there. I know the feeling. I just could not do LL any more and now the siht of my surplus CD packs in the cupboard makes me shudder. Stick to your guns until the appointed date and give it your best shot, then forget about LL and work at making real life count.

the running WILL help!

Not that I'm one to talk as today was my first run for 10 days! It was hard but I'm soooo pleased that I dragged my sorry carcass out.

Chin up chuck....you can do it.

Lesley x

Mrs said...

Hello lovely P

I want to email you; what's the best address? Work or personal?

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxx

Boffcat said...

You're not alone, my endorphins never kick in either!

In the long term I think the only form of exercise which really works for you is something you actually enjoy, so if you do choose to stop doing Lighter Life in August maybe it'd be an idea to put some of the money you'd be saving towards kickboxing?