Day 64 - back to basics

Well, I'm now a year older. Something that's really only good if you're 9. I had planned to have chicken for lunch and steak and green salad for supper on my birthday. Then I realised I'd be out all day on Monday (Kew Gardens - very lovely) so it would be better to have the chicken the night before instead (and I could skip more packs that way - 4 over 2 days rather than 3 on 1 day). Then I'm afraid I thought I might as well add in Saturday.

So I had prawns and green salad on Saturday, chicken and cold salad on Sunday and steak (small) and green salad on Monday. I am pleased that I didn't go over the top - these meals should have kept me in ketosis (impossible to say for sure since I have no sticks and get hungry anyway whilst allegedly being in the big K) and I replaced 2 of the shakes with my small meal each night (so 6 in total). I didn't have any wine or anything sweet, not even fruit which I was really, really wanting (and had originally intended to have one perfect white nectarine). And my home scales have continued to show a downward (if painfully slow) trend so I think I managed the whole situation pretty well considering. Food tasted amazing! I didn't even want any dressing on my rocket, chard, chicory and celery as I wanted to taste every zingy green mouthful. I felt full but not in any discomfort or pain and although I did then want a pudding I was content that I had had a treat of some sort.

It felt sad not to go out to dinner, or have birthday cake or champagne or wine but I got through it (next year however.....!). It did make my birthday more flat than usual though - but there were other factors: no cards from my family, no presents as b/f is paying for holiday (except for 2 pretty necklaces from one of my two best friends and her daughter - thanks E and T), no special occasion to be treated to etc. I know, I should be too old to care. B/f wrote a lovely message in my card though saying I look better now than 10 years ago (we've been together coming up for 13 years). Sweet but I really must look at photos of my 20-something self to see if it's true. If it's not I'm not going to tell him though! He's not a prolific complimenter so I'm not giving any back!

So today it's back to packs. Separation has not made my heart grow fonder I'm afraid! But I'm gathering my determination to get through this end of the beginning stage. I'm trying to focus on the 100 days and finishing that the best way I can. Then it's holiday! Then I need to have sorted a CD counsellor for when I get back but other than that I shan't think about phase 2 yet. I'm an inveterate planner but I think I need to take this in chunks (bit like those chocolate shakes if you don't blend them enough!). I have a day off on Friday and am seriously thinking of going to the gym in our development. Well, it's not a gym, just a small, smelly, hot unventilated and un-airconditioned underground room with equipment. I'm anxious about all these horror stories of saggy skin (baggyness only being cute on Bagpuss - and even then apparently only Emily loved him and she's not my target market).