Tuesday, 7 August 2007

Day 43 - Bad to worse

I can't even post on Minis as I don't want to discourage people who are doing well - at WI last night I had PUT ON 0.66lb. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Typically my LLC was no use whatsoever - she said perhaps it was TOTM, I told her that was last week, so she said "oh well, perhaps it still is, it can really mess up your cycle". Then she said it wasn't much - hello? What part of not 3.5lbs off but 0.66lbs on do you not understand? That makes it a deficit of nearly 4.5lbs in my book. Then she said it was down to negative thinking. I don't know how I didn't rip her head off. I follow the diet (I drink the water and I take the packs and I don't eat) and I expect it to yield results - it's a question of science not mysticism. And actually I expected to lose 5-6lbs minimum to make up for my previous poor results in the last 3 weeks.

A friend in the group rang her aunt who has done LL and is a source of much wisdom and she can only think I'm retaining water. I don't feel as if I am - clothes not tighter, ankles not puffier - but will try ANYTHING. I've bought nettle and fennel teas and psyllium husks to try and address any water retention and I know I'm still, er, bunged up. I was trying to get Mrs L's recommendation of Solgar p husks but nowhere sells them and now drastic measures are called for and so I've had to buy Holland and Barrett (I know their stuff is not supposed to be very good but it's the best I can do in terms of immediacy). I don't think this could equal 6lbs+ though so I don't think it's an explanation - and I cannot think of an explanation. I am perplexed and very very upset. I find this diet hard but I do it - but what is my motivation now?

Yesterday I was at a briefing where there was a mound of soft, chewy double chocolate chip cookies. I had to resist them for about 3 hours. I actually wish I hadn't - at least if I had eaten one and put on the weight I would know why and knuckle down with increased vigour. As it is I feel bewildered, cheated and miserable.

1 comment:

Mrs said...

Dear Peridot

Again, I wish I could give you a big hug. The water retention issue does come up a lot but that is small comfort when you've done everything by the book.

If your LLC is no good (and she doesn't sound as if she is appreciating YOUR situation), then can you switch to one nearer work? Not sure which LLC's classes you attend.

The other thing you could do is get in touch with LL HQ.

I would suggest you do post on Minis - you never know, someone may have gone through exactly the same thing. And tell it as it is - as you have here!

Can I just say how very much I applaud the fact that you DIDN'T tuck in? I know that feeling of what the hell, why didn't I just eat what I wanted when the scales don't deliver. But you didn't and that control will pay off, yes, it really will.

Are you weighing yourself at home? Do you track your day-to-day weight changes?

Give yourself another week AND in the meantime, I think it would be good to reward yourself for each and every day you stick to the diet.

Can you believe you've done this? Can you see how well you have done by sticking to it? Do a thought record about how angry you feel; the old you would have eaten. But you didn't!!!

Not sure if this is no help or just salt in a big wound, right now.

Thinking of you and sending you love and hugs down the internet cables!

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxx