Friday, 10 August 2007

And there's more angst where that came from

Can I just say that I really don't like the person I've turned into on this diet. I want to be one of those people who feel bursting with health, that the weight is dropping off and consequently they feel happy, energised, motivated and excited about their future. There seem to be many of those people on Minis and I envy them - I'm happy for them but I really do envy them too. I don't want to be grumpy and unhappy and anxious and envious. I want to feel that every time I miss out on some delicious food opportunity it's worth it because I can see such an improvement in the way I look (and feel too but to be honest (and shallow) I'm principally doing this because I want to look good).

I'm hanging in there though, I still have a flicker of hope (that I'm almost afraid to acknowledge) that at some point - hopefully soon - it will all click into place and the magic will work for me too and I won't be that child with her nose pressed against the window, watching the others on the inside and hoping to be allowed in to be with them and to be like them, one of them.


Mrs said...

Dearest Peridot

You are doing so well. Hang on in there. Don't forget I really didn't have the magical energy until I went to NYC and that's when I ate some food. BUT when I came back, I got back on track and the energy uplift stayed.

See what happens at WI and then make some decisions. I really think a poor LLC is NOT helping matters! Any joy on that front?

Sending you big hugs; have a lovely weekend.

Mrs Lxxxx

Lesley said...

But, you write about your angst with such direct fluency and humour that, despite the fact that we KNOW how miserable you, we don't get bored of it!!

It's hard but not everyone's timetables are the same. There was a woman in my group who complained that she was hungry ALL the time all the way through Foundation - I know she really struggled but the results were good and she scraped her 3 stone off in the 100 days and went on to better things in Development.

She got there in the end and I think her lessons were better learned than mine, to whit I'm still struggling with temptation after over half a year!!

Amanda said...

Good luck with the WI tonight and as Mrs L says 'Hang on in there'.

Your amazing, I'm sure I'd have given up by now, but your doing so well to stick with it.

I'm sure the weight loss will start to show soon, positive vibes and all that!!

Amanda x

Lesley said...

How'd it go at weigh in? Was it last night??

Lesley xx