Tuesday, 21 August 2007

Day 57 - Theory blown, sigh

Well, so much for the 'my body's finally got with the plan' theory - yep, we're back to measly weight loss. 2.8lbs. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. And I'm worried about a possible pattern - I had 2.8lbs, then +0.7lbs, then 6lbs and now back to 2.8lbs. The 6lbs was good, the 2lbs bad and the + was atrocious. WHY can't I get this? I am more active, I drink loads of water, nettle tea, and am a very good girl. It's very, very depressing.

My LL group buddy had smoked salmon and scrambled eggs and a tiny piece of cake - and lost 5lbs! I'm pleased for her but it makes it even more gutting for me. She reckons I need to have a bit of protein to kick start my metabolism (and apparently CD add this in every 4 weeks for this purpose) and even my diet-nazi mother agrees. I'm reluctant to take the gamble in case it backfires on me but of course next Monday is my birthday and I've planned to have some cold chicken for lunch and a small steak with green salad for dinner - so we'll see what effect that has.

Thanks for all your comments guys, you are all both wise and motivating. Not decided what to do about the Wolsey. B/f reckons there's no way I could go and have the willpower not to eat - especially if people are saying 'oh look, you've not had a clotted cream scone yet, have one' -and I do tend to agree. I have a little time to decide - it's either go along and try and push food around my plate (and probably claim a nasty stomach bug or similar if anyone notices) or pull a sickie (I feel guilt even typing that!).

Lesley was asking why I'm so resistant to telling people. I know it sounds silly but I'd hate the attention and people looking at me and seeing if I look like I've lost weight, what I'm eating (or not - more precisely) and talking about me. I know this sounds paranoid but I work in a largely female office - most of them are young, fashionable and slim (well, all of them are slim). I can see them making approving comments to each other along the lines of 'about time' but not understanding where I've come from or how hard the journey is for me. So I hope you understand now. Either that or you'll think I'm mad!


Lesley said...

I can see your frustration but 2.8lbs is pretty good. I hope you stick it out.

Thanks for explaining about the keeping it secret thing. i certianly don't think you're mad as everyone has such different experiences to do with their weight. I know what you mean about slim women en masse.

I'm sure they'll notice and get it out of you soon enough!!

The stomach bug thing would be the best excuse - especially if you embellish the details a bit!! You could get really creative but that might not best for the afternoon as a whole!!

Good luck and chin up chuck. I'm heading for a very poor weigh in tomorrow but that is entirely due to my weakness on Thursday and Friday. Since then I've been really good but the scales will remember! Sigh....

Lesley x

Lesley x

Mrs said...

Hi Peridot

You've hit the nail on the head; the word 'diet' does not reflect your big journey. And I think the perceived poor losses make you doubt your long-term success. As you know, I did not go public unless I had to or until it was obvious but even then I would just smile and say thank you. It was all tied up with feeling ashamed about being...a lard! And not getting a grip on that side of my life.

You will work out what's the right thing to do.

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxx