Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Day 50 - half time

Alas, if only I were allowed to suck orange quarters (do they still do that? Probably not, they're on on vile Sunny D nowadays) as even that would be rather exciting at present. I may go wild and have a celebratory orange water flavouring. I know how to live, oh yes, hedonism-r-me.

I've had a tempestuous 50 days - not a roller coaster as I've mostly been down. But I have high hopes for the next 50! At WI yesterday I had a good loss - 6lbs. Okay, it's not enough to clear the deficit I've built up so far in terms of not losing the 3 1/2lbs a week I should be, but after the previous week where I put on almost a lb, it's a whole other place to be and I like this place so much more! I'm cautiously pleased without wanting to set myself up for a fall again if next week reverts to pathetic trend. If however, I have another 6lbs loss next week (or near enough) I will officially be ecstatic. You've never seen me like that - so be warned!

I had such a rotten Friday too. It was my lowest ebb since starting LL - and we're talking looooooooooooooooow. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself after missing out on all the cheese (and bread, biscuits and other enticing nibbly bits) in the office on Friday, then went to my mum's where she'd cooked some amazing smelling garlicky, chilli prawn pasta dish for herself and b/f. I sat at the table and it was all I could do not to sob. B/f offered to do me a soup but it actually felt more of an insult than having nothing. They had to coax me into having a pack which I finally did very sulkily at 10pm. I am so sorry for them as each mouthful must have stuck in their throats with me being so pitiful and pathetic. Was back there the next day though and watched them eat homemade quiche and salad with apparent equanimity (inwardly it was a seething mass of jealous flavoured emotions) for lunch. I think it was the 2 things so close together - resisting cheese and all his cheese-related friends all afternoon and then going back to watch a gorgeous meal being eaten under my (hyper sensitive) nose.

The meeting was still pretty frustrating though - the counselling really is inadequate. The discussion is the best bit but the LLC tries to minimise that - to get back to her script, delivered in a bright sing-song voice, as though we're sub-normal toddlers. I've been thinking a bit about post-100 days and what I'll do when I get back from holiday. I find the expense quite difficult and I don't feel I'm getting value for money to make this more palatable (this experience seems to be exacerbated in Development from what I hear) so I think I might go and do CD until I'm at target (if that's even possible - I'm not sure) as it's cheaper and apparently their packs taste better but then I'd like to go back to LL for Management. Not sure it's possible but they want my money so they may take me back. Only thinking about it vaguely at the moment - I have a long time to decide - but one of the girls from my group would be up for doing the same with me. She has less to lose than me and has better success in dropping more significant amounts of weight - but keeps cheating big time (we're talking McDonalds and Haagan Daz ice cream parlours amongst others!) so we may be more evenly matched as we go forward unless she really knuckles down. I hope she does for her sake. It's not an easy ride so why prolong that longer than you have to?


Lesley said...

Oh, thank God for that!! 6 lbs is an excellent loss and shows that your body can get its act together so, even if you miss the 3 stone in 100 days, there's no reason why you won't catch up with a storming finale!

Shame about the counselling. what do others in your group think? Is anyone up for a putsch and telling the LLC that you're not happy with how it's going? I'm dead pushy so that's the sort of thing I might do! We told ours we didn't like the DVD's and just did more chatting for the last few weeks. Was pretty good.

Good luck for next week.

Lesley x

Lesley said...

I was think about your miserable Friday. I would advise against sitting at the tale when you're feeling low. People will understand - say you can't face watching them eat so will go for a quck walk/do the laundry/surf, watch telly/have a bath. It's more honest and will hurt less. Join them afterwards with a pack or something.

Just a thought - avoidance is a very useful tool I find in stopping getting miserable.

Good luck.

Lesley x

chrismars said...

Many, many congratulations on the 6lbs Peridot. Maybe at last your body is getting into the 'zone'.....or is that a different diet plan altogether?..lol

Chris x

Sandra said...

Congrats on the 6lbs. Please try not to tot it up as not making up for other weeks! It's a brilliant result.

Have the bowels started working better? I am finding the psyillium husks a godsend and don't know why I didn't try them sooner! But I can recommend the Boots suppositories for any urgent needs - they worked for me within 10 minutes. The husks are good for longer term regularity though. (I bought the H&B ones.)


Amanda said...

Well done on the 6lbs loss, that is really brilliant.

Are there any other LLC near you that you could switch too?

As Lesley said, if you are feeling low, do something else and then join them later. It's so much better than sitteing there being miserable. Do something for yourself.

Good luck with this week.

Amanda x

Mrs said...

If it's any consolation, Peridot, I had to spend Easter with my mum and my husband but not sit with them for any meals and..had to spend a day in bed because it was all too much.

They even went out for a slap up lunch while I had a haircut and I met them afterwards when they were supposed to have finished...but they hadn't!!

So, my advice is this, if it's too much, remove yourself. No point in torturing yourself.

In the meantime, WAY TO GO with your 6lbs loss. As I said on the blog, that's almost half a stone! Keep going, Peridot - you can do it, you ARE doing it and you will LOSE the weight!!

Very impressed that you are hanging on in there!

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxx