Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Negative equity of weight

I am really having to force myself to do my runs in the mornings at the moment. I don't feel that I'm getting the payback for the effort involved - physically and psychologically. On the one hand, I feel it must be doing something (apart from making me bad tempered) but on the other, I don't really see that effort translating into a slimmer me. Of course, what I really fear is that if I stopped I'd just get larger - it's probably only that that's making me keep going - but I'd rather focus on a carrot than the stick.

I'm feeling generally rather discouraged to be honest. It seems that if I can stick to the plan 100% AND run I can lose a negligable amount of weight (certainly not more than 2lbs a week max) but if I deviate AT ALL I don't lose or I put on. And life does rather get in the way of 100% adherence to the rules. Take last night for instance, I was meeting up with friends to go to the cinema and then to Yo Sushi. I'd looked up their calorie content which was perturbingly high and realised that I couldn't have what I wanted - in either quantity or choice - so 'allowed' myself 3-4 dishes. I had 4 in the end but one was not one of the allotted 4 but probably a higher calorie option. So I blew yesterday - even though sushi's apparently a comparatively healthy option. And on Valentine's night, even though I had in mind that I was going to break the diet, despondance that I knew it would mean no weight loss that week pushed me into eating more than I should. Yep, no logic there. I was intending to have a 3 course meal, chez nous, with champagne (half a bottle) and wine (I had a glass and a half so not bad) but not the creme egg, bag of 6 mini creme eggs or 2 squares of dark chocolate. Or the clotted cream with pudding really either.

So it's hard to know how I can win at this. I think I could deal with very slow weight loss if I were about a stone lighter than I am now (and assuming it is a loss) but it feels like it could take a very long time to get there - and that's the starting point, not the goalpost.


Claire said...

Lesley tells me you are the girl to talk to about slow metabolisms etc. Would you email me? Am rather at the end of my tether. coley144 @ hotmail . com

Mrs said...

Ditch the sugar! It does terrible things to your mind - self-esteem, resolve, control, never mind the rest ie your blood sugar levels/body chemistry.

If the running is so bad, is there anything else - like dancing - that would be more fun?

I say all this with love.

Big kiss.

Mrs Lard xxxxxxxx

Lesley said...

All good advice from Mrs there.

But the other thing is, what is so urgent about dropping that first stone? If you were to take the pressure off and give yourself a long target and enjoy life in the meantime, would that be such a bad thing? I know what you mean about just wanting to get the first stone off 'cos I do too and I despair of getting there at this snail's pace but, if that thought itself is a barrier to you losing, then maybe better to ditch it and accept that you will shrink very slowly and better that than risking going up or yo-yoing??

Just a thought as that mindset has helped me. I'd rather only lose a stone all year but be a stone lighter by Christmas than do what I did last year and gain a stone!!

Big hug chuck.

Lesley x