Thursday, 1 March 2012

News from the Scales of Doom

SoD reluctantly told me that I'd lost 1lb and 3/4 yesterday. Initially due to my extremely dodgy maths, I thought it was 2lbs 3/4 and got quite excited; I may even have skipped. But I can cope with 1lb 3/4 - or, at least, I could if it were a regular thing (I'm talking weekly!). Actually this takes me to the distinctly unimpressive total of 3lbs and 3/4 in the last 8 weeks. And I'm still 5lbs heavier than before Christmas. I know I can only keep plodding away and try not to think of this or it will all seem unbearable and I'll freak out. Less than 2lbs a month is quite spectacularly rubbish and really doesn't reflect the effort I put in - and certainly isn't going to get me to the size where I can meet my own eye in the mirror, let alone strip to next to nothing in a wedding shop and be shoe-horned into dresses intended for the slender and pretty, highlighting all my inadequacies and broadcasting my shame. Still, that will be my lot next month and I've run out of time for avoiding it so will just have to take it on the chin (or paunch).

This weekend is a danger zone for dieting - we're going to stay with friends in Devon. We're eating at theirs on Friday and Saturday nights so it will be harder to avoid carbs than in a restaurant for example. And breakfasts always seem to be tricky. I know I will do the best I can because I've actually got pretty good at resisting things I shouldn't eat - I don't fear for my willpower but just for my ability to choose. I will not be a picky guest though, I will appreciate all the hard work that will have been put into entertaining us with good grace. And then face SoD all over again.


Lesley said...

Hey Peri. You lost!! That is someting isn't it? I know you've been finding it hard for some time and I wish you could take one burden off your shoulders to ease this pressure. You know what I'm going to say and that is that you're going to be a gorgeous bride whatever your weight!!

It seems to me that you're tying weight in with worth and buying the picture that only a "perfect" bride is worthy. That is so not true. I know that you know that marriage is totally individual and all about what your and bf are to each other. But this blind spot about not being a perfect BRIDE worries me on your behalf.

I hate the thought of you feeling like a failure just because you're not slim on your wedding day. I hope I'm exaggerating and really all this about you being understated and self-deprecatory but really - you're lovely and will look lovely.

Big kiss.

Lesley xx

Seren said...

A fantastic loss - well done you!

As for the rest - well, what Lesley said really. I can't put it any better.

Have a wonderful time in Devon - I've never been and would love to go. Hopefully the sun will shine down on you all weekend, and there will be eggs for breakfast :-)