Monday 17 May 2010

D.I.V.O.R.C.E

It’s over between us. I gave it a good go but it’s just been too much to bear – it was a one-way relationship and I was putting all the effort in. Yep, me and running are through. The big split came on Sunday, when I’d heaved myself out of my bed far earlier than I’d wanted, to embark on Week 4, Run 1. Now, I was already unhappy with the jumps in the programme (from 90 secs running to 3 mins last week), well, get this: Week 4 was run for 3 mins, walk for 90 secs then run for 5 mins, walk for 2mins, 30 secs (and then do it all again – yay(NOT)). I did it – just. And I did not get a runners high, I hated every long, long second of it. And I was dreading week 5 all the way– just checked and it moves up through the week from 5 mins, to 8 mins to 20 MINS RUNNING! It would kill me – probably quite literally. So I’m stopping the whole sorry business. I feel bad, in fact I feel like a big, fat loser (and not in the weight loss way, sadly) to have failed at this. If I were enjoying it OR the weight was dropping off, I’d keep going (although there’s no way I’d be able to run for 20 mins straight next week) but I don’t and it doesn’t.

My alternative plan is to go to the fitness room in the basement of our flats and work on the weights machines for 20 mins or so – and then, if I have enough time, walk in in my MBTs. Everything I’m reading at the moment seems to say that building muscle speeds up metabolism – and as my specialist has attested, I have an abnormally sluggish metabolism (or what Claire calls arseybodyitis!) and need all the help I can get in this department. Interestingly, there was a (opinion column) piece in the Observer saying that MBTs do work (http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/16/polly-vernon-what-i-bought-this-week-mbts) – can’t say I’ve noticed much “sculpting, toning, lifting and separating’ but I’m prepared to keep plugging away. Maybe my legs and arse are more of a challenge than Polly Vernon’s! In fact, I’m sure of it.

I’ve been very good over the weekend – yes, I’ve had a couple of treats but I’ve really balanced that with very sensible, low-cal choices. My main course on Saturday came with a pile of chips that I promptly off-loaded onto my 17 year old stepson’s plate, leaving myself a maximum of 12. He was groaning with his head on the table when he’d eaten (not quite all of it) and only temporarily perked up to scoff a brownie with ice cream before slumping again. And I have not had so much as a tiny glass of wine all weekend which I guess helps.

Going back to my specialist, I saw him last week. He’s still keen that I have a gastric bypass. I don’t fancy it one little bit. Given that he reckons that Lighter Life has suppressed my metabolism virtually out of existence, I couldn’t see that eating the same calories because of an op could be any better. He said that people who had the op generally lost most of their interest in food; I said that I suspected this is because they kept throwing up every time they tried to eat which would tend to put one off rather. He said that actually it seemed to affect ghrelins (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghrelin) and was impressed I knew what this meant. I’ve said I’ll see this other operation specialist – IF he contacts me which he’s not got a good track record on - but I have to say I am really, really not keen. Of course, I’m not keen on staying fat either. It really does seem to be a choice between the devil and the deep, blue sea. The specialist has promised that in the time the op would take to come up, he’d continue to look for new drugs which might help but wasn’t able to offer any more hope than that – thin hope indeed. Ho ho.

4 comments:

Lesley said...

I'm not convinced that LL suppresses ones metabolism. I seem to have got back to normal after my 10 months on the programme. I suppose everyone is different and your body defo seems to hold onto whatever it can get its paws on so maybe... Hope not for your sake.

If you really don't like something then don't do it!! Don't feel bad about the fact that you really tried and it's not for you! Really.

Good luck on the gastric bypass decision - a toughie. I have a friend who has had one, shall I put her in touch??

Lesley x

Linz M said...

Running is something I really wish I could do, when I see people doing it they make it look fairly effortless - any attempts by me make me feel like my lungs will burst and my knees might just snap. I am impressed you managed as long as you did, I managed week 1 of my running plan and gave it up!

The gastric bypass decision is a hard one, I have considered it myself before, but wimped out before finding out the full facts. Good luck on making that decision

xx

Isabella said...

Don't let anyone fool you, running is really hard and doesn't necessarily lead to weight loss. Instead, I would recommend getting a heart rate monitor and not letting your heart rate go above 140 beats per minute while you WALK!

If your heart rate goes too high, your body gets stressed and doesn't burn fat. Keeping your heart rate around 110 - 140 bpm is the optimal fat burning zone.

Charlotte said...

Haven't posted a comment on here in yonks Peridot (hello!) but thought to have a look-in the other day to see how you were doing. (Remember meeting me from P2T many moons ago and going for a walk along the South Bank?)

I just wanted to say I'm shocked your specialist is suggesting a gastric bypass. Surely success via gastric bypass is all about calorie restriction? In which case doesn't that have the same effect on your body as following a calorie-restricted diet in the first place? I'm sorry you're still struggling with your weight, although I don't say that from some far-off viewpoint from the top of my fictitious pedestal... oh no, I'm still struggling myself and probably bigger now than I was when we met.

Anyway I'm probably gushing nonsense which you've already considered and have answers for. Wishing you the best and hope all's well in general!
x