Monday, 24 May 2010

Thy SoD is a jealous and vengeful SoD

Or mine is anyway, hope thine is otherwise. And my SoD (Scales of Doom) is particularly heavy on the vengefulness. Or is it me who is heavy? Well, after last week's frankly piss-poor WI (either half a pound on or off - the SoD couldn't really be bothered to say either way), I had hoped for a bumper week this week. But when I WI on Friday - either I lost 1 single solitary lb (if I put on a half lb last week) or I lost 1/2 lb (if I lost 1/2 lb last week). Either way, well, really. It's not on. I am pretty much busting a gut here. And so I want to, er, bust a gut. And of course, I WI this morning to see the damage put on over the weekend and it's 1lb. Which wouldn't be so bad if it didn't equate to 2 weeks hard work to lose it!

Weekend was lovely (more on that next week probably) - gorgeous weather, surroundings and company. Actually did talk to bf about the gastric bypass - he's really not keen. He said that he loved me as I am (which is nice!) and it would amount to putting myself through alot purely for vanity's sake - and that he thought it would make me very unhappy if I couldn't eat properly ever again. He also pointed out that I'm pretty keen on being healthy in so many ways and that this would be the antithesis of that. It's a good argument - of course, he doesn't realise just how unhappy I am at this size (he may love me as I am - but I don't) so it's not quite vanity, more mental health I think. But I do think I owe it to both of us to exhaust just about everything else first. Including plodding on at 0.5lbs a week.

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingsall's restaurant was disappointing though - an offal lot of offal. And what I had (offal-free) was fine - perfectly pleasant - but not amazing. It didn't touch Jamie Oliver's Fifteen (although as personalities I much prefer H's TV persona - there are only so many times you can hear the word 'nice' in one cookery programme without longing for at least one other choice of adjective).

One disturbing thing I noticed though is that if bf and I have broadly similar meals, I will get hungry again much more quickly than him. My specialist tells me - and I believe this - that my metabolism is basically flat as a wafer-thin pancake. But wouldn't that mean I got less hungry? My scientific knowledge is poor so this may be wrong. Either way though, it's confounding and frustrating. It also makes me feel like a greedy pig when I'm desparate for a snack and bf is still full.


Curlygirl said...

I had heard H F-W's was a bit disappointing. I was hoping it was wrong though and was looking forward to a rave review from yourself. Oh well.

I think the gastric bypass seems like the wrong tool to fix your problem. As you say - it is metabolic as opposed to you being a binge eater. Has your specialist referred you to an endocrinologist? I know one of the symptoms of PCOS is difficulty in losing weight, and it could be a course of Metformin might be worth a try. Like you say - exhaust all the options. Because you do lots of exercise and broadly speaking, eat really well. I never really thought of it before in relation to you, but it could be worth discussing it with someone.

Hope you didn't melt in the heat of the city today!

Call me Ishmael said...

Hi Peridot,

Gastric bypass is such a tempting thought, isn't it? I admit that I often -- especially in dark times -- wonder if I shouldn't just do it.

But I'm a chicken about surgeries (and greatly fear post-surgery infections). I quite like the idea of the lap band thing -- except I gather that once it goes on they leave it on forever. I'd think it would be nicer to cinch the stomach up for weight loss then take the band off down the road. But I guess that's not how it works.

In any case, I always end my gastric ruminations when I get to the part where doctors say you have to work out regularly and adopt healthy eating habits or it won't work. Well, I'm working on doing that anyway -- so why go through potentially dangerous surgery just to have to make the same lifestyle/behavioral stages I'm doing now?

Plus, I do know some people who've had it. They are slimmer (not all of them are slim tho). A few are fine and doing quite well. Others -- for whatever reasons -- have frequent heartburn, lots of tummy issues, and they can't really enjoy their food much.

It's such a tough choice, isn't it? If we could be guaranteed a good outcome, I'd probably sign up in a jiffy.

Glad your boyfriend was lovely and supportive. Sounds like you had a nice (ha - your favorite adjective) weekend, all things considered.

Isabella said...

When I was a teenager, a friend of my mum's had gastric banding surgery. She did really well for a few years, but them put all the weight back on. Its because your stomach can stretch and go back to its original size, so you can still eat what you used to eat.

Claire said...

I get hungry a lot...and I have the crappy metabolism. I eat every 2 hours..little and often does me a treat. Some people can just eat brekkie then last til lunch - not me!

Lesley said...

Nice to hear that bf being supportive, that must helpeven though you're doing this for yourself!! So, do it in your own time and take the pressure off. Enjoy life on the way maybe....

I always used to feel hungry more than D but that is changing slowly. Perhaps there's some emotional hunger there???

Either way, SoD apart, glad you had a good time away chuck.

Lesley x

Nona said...

Sweet BF!!! I'm not against surgery at all ... actually considered it at one point myself. Thought that was the only hope but thank God I found Cambridge which is really working for me. I agree with you that you owe it to yourself to try everything you can and keep surgery as a last resort.

I know what you mean when you say that even if the BF is happy with you it doesn't help much when you are unhappy with you.

I know you can conquer this and find the method that works for you. Hang in there.