Wednesday, 3 February 2010

No cucumbers, not even for ready money*

I think I may have cracked the protein with fruit thing – I can swop my usual yoghurt snack for a small portion of hummous and crudités in the day and then have yoghurt with my pear/plum/whatever in the evening. As it turns out, I’ve been a yoghurt glutton. I’m supposed to have 4oz a day but I’ve been having a Muller Light which is 190g (I’m a shocking 77g over!). So it’s half a Muller Light for me from now on. And I can have strips of pepper, celery and cucumber (I’m still a bit anxious about carrots although I think I’m allowed it on SB2). Except! The M&S near me at work has run out of cucumbers! It’s very odd – a run on cucumbers? Although.... a colleague told me a story about her nursing days which involved an MP, a nasty ‘accident’ and a frozen cucumber. I’m not based too far from Westminster so it could be.... Or perhaps that MP was telling the truth and all cucumbers have had to be impounded due to their aggressive and invasive activities.... Okay, now I’m put off dipping cucumber in my hummous in any case!

More good news – my coat fits me again. Okay, it only fits if I wear it over a thin sweater which since it’s a thin coat means I shiver quite a bit – but that burns calories in any case, right?! I think it wouldn’t do up over a chunky jumper without me doing a Benjamin Bunny and shooting off buttons like missiles. It may be endearing on a rabbit but I think I can say pretty confidently that it’s not so on a 39 year old dumpy woman.

Debbie – I hope your omelette turned out better than mine which bore a striking resemblance to scrambled egg. With cheese and mushrooms. Gah. It doesn’t TASTE as nice if it looks like that.

Things to be grateful for from yesterday:
1. Scales of Doom let me off the hook
2. Curlygurl got in touch
3. Our kitchen tap no longer drips – hurrah for the plumber! (And no, it wasn’t a washer, the whole tap had to be replaced. The silence is almost eerie...)

* Credit to Mr O Wilde (Importance of Being Earnest). I don't think he shared the same interest in cucumbers as the MP.


Lesley said...

My sister, when a trainee doctor in central London, told me similar stories (without mentioning names of course) so I think we need to be worried about cucumbers, beer bottles and hoover attachments! All, apparently, have inbuilt desires to leap into unprotected orifices!!

Kudos on the dieting willpower and the coat. Doing good girl!

Lesley x

Curlygirl said...

The version I heard involved a lemon. "Don't worry" the doctor said, "I'll have it out in a jiffy"

I'll get me coat.....

Call me Ishmael said...

Ohh, that's good stuff. Cucumbers. Lemons. MPs. Lovely imagery all round!