Thursday, 17 May 2012

Sweetening a pill

I’d forgotten my urge to panic/comfort eat at work. Whilst my boss has been on maternity leave, the whole office has become a nicer place to be. But now she’s back. She’s been promoted and is now my boss’s boss which means I get a little breathing space but she pollutes the whole office. The thing that I find particularly objectionable – actually repellent – is how excited and hyper she gets when she has to tell someone off/slap them down/ “put them back in their box”; she actually can’t sit still in her glee and has to jump about, skip and wriggle, with a huge grin, talking at 100 mph. There’s something sick about that. Yesterday it was me being slapped down and I didn’t like it – I felt slapped, I felt belittled and nervy. The office is changing back again to a place where people seek out mistakes and gloat and mock; I don’t like it. So much so that I ate a brownie. Not a big one but it’s not a healthy response. Sugar can’t sweeten this – it’s toxic with or without a big dose of my own personal toxin.

So I really didn’t want to go dress shopping last night. I was feeling squashed but knew that I’d feel expanded as soon as I tried anything on. I bought something – I think it’s nice but it’s very different to what I’d usually wear. And it’s sleeveless and I do not love my upper arms. And a cardy, wrap or similar just won’t work – I tried it – my arms would be out. But not proud. I’m putting it to the P test tonight – I told him to be brutal which he’s a bit hurt about – ‘honest’ is what we’ve agreed on. I’ll let you know if I’ll be wearing it.

Good news: I lost weight. I lost almost 2lbs which made me terribly excited – until I realised that from avant-le-beouf, it’s only ½ lb. Which is less impressive but still heading (s-l-o-w-l-y) in the right direction. Only 2 ½ lbs to go until I’ve lost my Christmas weight. It’s pathetic isn’t it? Really one of those not sure whether to laugh or cry situations.


Seren said...

Every loss as far as I am concerned should be celebrated so well done you. I insist on congratulations.

The work situation sounds appalling. Is there no escalation process for that sort of thing?? I don't blame you for the brownie - and hopefully the overall stress of the situation will act as a metabolic boost!


Gabby said...

Not pathetic at all! I think you're doing amazingly well. You're a constant font of inspiration!

Work sounds atrocious, I'm so sorry. I can only hope you or she get another job eventually and you never have to see her again.

Lesley said...

That woman sounds like a proper bitch and toxic is the only word for it. When you hadn't mentioned her for a while, I had hoped she had disappeared for good so I'm sorry to hear that she's back. And promoted too!! It really is a joke that horrible people like that are rewarded for their misdeeds. I don't even want to think about how she will be raising her poor innocent little child.

Well done for losing what you gained and little bit more. You are heading in the right direction. Yes, it is slow but it's better than heading in the wrong direction!!

Keep it up sweets and I'm cursing the witch from here.

Lesley xx