Monday 14 May 2012

Dress to distress

It was a bit of a roller-coaster of a weekend. It started with me trying on this dress:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/78045394/yellow-hyacinth-print-sweetheart-prom
I love it but it was too small. Or I did. I went in to see P to see if he could do me up. He couldn’t.
“It’s a shame” I said lightly, “It’s a pretty dress, isn’t it?”
There was one of those awful pauses.
“It doesn’t do you justice” he said slowly “It makes you look....broad”
Blatant avoidance of the F word there.  And it was a RHETORICAL QUESTION.

And with those words (the ones spoken and the ones not) I was thrown into a complete crisis about everything I wear. Now, I don’t love very much of what I own – I buy most of my clothes from ebay and I’m grateful that they cover and conceal. But of course I would like to feel great – I’m just never sure that’s possible, given the raw materials. In this instance, I had bought quite an expensive dress for a party at the end of the month because I wanted to feel fabulous. Feeling “broad” does unequivocally not equate with fabulous. But you knew that, right?

It led to a rather heated conversation, okay, row, the following day. And me scanning the Gok Wan books to try and work out what would suit me. I have always thought I was an hourglass (okay a short, fat one) because I have a, erm, substantial bust, depressingly large hips but I have a disproportionately small waist. So I wear full skirts or a-lines. But P reckons I look better in a pencil style skirt (I don’t actually own one, but still). I did try a relatively gentle fishtail wedding dress on – it was not pretty. That is, it was pretty, I was not.

From the book I narrowed it down to 3 bodyshapes: hourglass, pear or bum-heavy (can’t remember what slightly nauseating term he used). I ended up very confused. I seem to have too much bust for a pear or over-arsed. And I don’t have tiny shoulders like my mum – she’s clearly a pear. If I were all about the bum, then a tulip/pencil skirt should look best (tying in with P’s perception). If I were a pear, then an a-line, if I were an hourglass, a very full skirt. But that’s what the dress has, and also what my denim skirt is like and P (and others) hate that and claim it’s very unflattering. And when I went and got my wedding dress, the genius fairy godmother said something along the lines that there was a temptation to show off my small waist but it actually threw my proportions out – my dress has a very gentle a-line, almost like the offspring of an a-line and a straight skirt.

So now I need to find a dress to wear the weekend after next that will suit me and look good – and I don’t have the FOGGIEST what to look for. I tried a personal shopping appointment in Debenhams but you have to take a day off (which I can’t do). I have one evening this week in which to pull this off and no Plan B.

7 comments:

Linz M said...

That dress is lovely. I was always of the idea that you should accentuate your waist if you have you have a small one. I'm all boobs and bum and I tend to go for that option if all else fails.

I would struggle with buying what suits me as I just tend to buy what I like and worry about it later. Surely if you feel comfortable in something you'll be more confident and therefore look amazing?

I don't really have much advice, except trying on a hell of a lot of stuff. Do you have someone honest who can come with you?

x

amy said...

I have found that dresses that follow your shape and drape, but are not tight anywhere, are the most flattering.

Ms Kay said...

I have been trying to figure out which body shape I am for two years - dumpy and short with a big tummy are tough to cover . Pajamas work well .. Perhaps a little informal for your event ?

Gabby said...

I wouldn't worry about body shapes and whatnot. Surely there are few of us who fall very obviously into one category.

Just try stuff on that you like and see what looks good. I imagine many silhouettes will look good, depending on how they are cut. And as long as they're not too baggy and shapeless, which is never good I suspect.

Hoofer said...

Could you not wear one of the dresses you have for your honeymoon cruise or are they too dressy? Possibly, the issue with the dress you tried on is that it has a band around the waist as well as being full skirted so really emphasised the small waist giving a Jessica rabbit feel to the outfit maybe? Anyhow if I were you I would aim for a dress that showed off the great rack and skimmed the rest i.e. slight A-line for the skirt. Coast has a few that might work Ensemble and Nadina, Zeta possibly.

Hoofer said...

Could you not wear one of the dresses you have for your honeymoon cruise or are they too dressy? Possibly, the issue with the dress you tried on is that it has a band around the waist as well as being full skirted so really emphasised the small waist giving a Jessica rabbit feel to the outfit maybe? Anyhow if I were you I would aim for a dress that showed off the great rack and skimmed the rest i.e. slight A-line for the skirt. Coast has a few that might work Ensemble and Nadina, Zeta possibly.

Peridot said...

Right, I'm stopping working immediately and am on that Coast website - thanks Hoofer!