Monday, 28 June 2010

The blues

It's been a mixed weekend. I walked 8 miles on Saturday, 5.5 miles on Sunday, yesterday I cycled in and home, despite the utter uselessness of the cycle path re-colouring exercise and today I've done weights and intend to walk in (if it stops raining).

But over the weekend I had - count them - THREE ice creams. What's even more annoying is that they weren't for the right reasons. The first one was. The second one was mid-walk because I was hot - and it wasn't very good. The third one was as a result of rage that I'd been denied my much anticipated tea on Sunday (the shop was closed). I'd allowed myself to get far, far too hungry to offset as many calories as possible and was at the wretched, tetchy stage when I found out the place was shut. We had to go into the nearest cafe and have a lacklustre sandwich - I couldn't even summon the energy to come up with a Plan B (most unusual). I then had an ice cream to 'make up for' not having had tea - and again, it wasn't very good (note to self: Bennett's ice cream is just not worth it). I really, really resent using calories for something that I don't enjoy - and although I can learn from this, the damage is still done.

I am feeling increasingly panicky about my weight and not losing it - mainly because of last week's fiasco - and that feeling makes it more difficult to get a grip on sensible eating. Ridiculous but true. So I'm still fighting but not very effectively or successfully. I'm white knuckling it, hoping for brighter things ahead (but finding it difficult to expect that they will happen). Yesterday I was very hungry (as a reaction to the carbs over the weekend and cycling I suspect) but managed to eat pretty sensibly - but it's still a real effort.

I experienced parts of the much exaulted cycle superhighway yesterday - most of the cycle path cunningly shuts randomly and dangerously with no provision for exactly where you're supposed to go safely (or at all). But curiously, in Limehouse and Poplar, the cycle path is more of a series of blue boxes, randomly scattered along the road. I am not sure of the significance or purpose of these (far less the actual usefulness or cost-effectiveness) - are they sanctuary where vehicles aren't allowed to hit me? Or am I supposed to jump, frog-like, from one to another? Grrribitt


Seren said...

It doesn't sound ridiculous to me - one bad week (even if the scales have been completely unfair) is more than enough to send me into a downward spiral.

Concentrate on the positive - you got off track at the weekend and then you got straight back on it! You ate sensibly even though it was an effort. Give yourself credit for that.

Oh, and the hot weather has a lot to answer for. Ice cream is the same as an ice cold lager - the calories (points etc...) just shouldn't count when consumed for cooling purposes.


Call me Ishmael said...

Hopefully you are not in a deep, verging on purple blue, but instead a light, turquoise, ocean-color blue that will soon pass...? The blues suck (unless you are a really great guitar player; then they are inspirational, apparently).