A Rude Awakening

I didn’t sleep at all well last night. It was probably because some internal part of me was screaming objections to the fact I’d laid out my stuff to go ‘running’ this morning. Yes, I started the Couch to 5k with the podcast this morning at 6am. It’s harder than my last programme which was the Zest How to Run one. First run with Zest – 1 min run, 3 mins walk for 20 mins (plus presumably warming up and cooling down – not that I ever did much of either of those); first run with C 2 5k – 1 min run, 1 ½ mins walk for 20 mins plus 5 mins warming up and 5 mins cooling down (walking). It was not fun, I did not love it and I did not find it easy but I did it. At 6am (did I mention that already?). Our park was not open so I trailed up the road (actually on the pavement, safety fans). It’s not supposed to open until 7am but when I last did this (at least 2 years ago!), someone used to open it around 6am. Week 1, Run 2 will be tomorrow evening and will be round the park. Early morning runs will be up to the dock and back. I’m going to give it a good go and at the end of 8-9 weeks, if I don’t love it and/or it doesn’t seriously help with the weight loss, I’m jacking it in for good.

It’s useful to feel I’ve done something on the days – like today – when I can’t cycle. I cycled yesterday. Gold star for me.

But now we come to Mission Impossible. It did indeed prove to be impossible. For a weak willed fatty like me, anyway. I reckon I was 70% bad and 30% good. It ought to be the other way round at least:

Day 1:
· Hauled self out of bed and walked 2.6miles in MBTs (good) √
· Ate v frugally during day inc no snacks on train (good) √
· Did not choose what I wanted in restaurant: not prawn tempura but smoked prawns with smudge of mayo (good), no aperitif (good), v restrained wine (good), venison with mash and left most of mash (good), sorbet for pudding (felt like good but probably wasn’t). √√√?
· Then allowed myself to be talked into buying some of restaurant’s fudge (bad) and ate probably 2/3 of it over the next 2 days (there was 1lb – bad, bad, BAD) ×

Day 2:
· Had planned bad breakfast of French toast and then felt sick for most of day until... ×
· On 8 mile walk (√), started feeling v faint indeed and was at NT property at that point (3pm) and had scone with small amount cream and jam (bad) and elderflower presse (bad) × ×
· Fish and chips for supper – had checked and allegedly burnt calories – and frugal with wine √ (a tentative tick that one - hmmm)
· Had cornetto for pudding (better than bf’s crème brulee but still bad) ×

Day 3:
· Good breakfast √
· Good lunch √
· Creme egg ×
· Aperitif ×
· Good starter, good main (but did eat half of mash as so yummy), pudding (bad) and reasonable wine consumption (a bit drunk from aperitif actually) √√-×. Bf went a bit crazy on the booze so I was able to feel very superior.

Day 4:
· Tried to have a good breakfast but not sure it actually was that great (yoghurt (said was low fat but looked pretty high cal to me), granola and a fruit scone of elephantine proportions) –
· No lunch and so went a bit mad and ate loads of Twiglets ×. Cue bf remarking disapprovingly how much I ate compared to him!
· Frugal supper (no wine) √

Ticks = 12, Crosses = 9, Neutral/don’t know = 3.

I’m a bit disappointed with myself to be honest.

But what I didn’t do was let this de-rail me. Back in London on Sunday night I firmly rebuffed bf’s idea of curry for supper and had a smoked trout salad. Then cycled in yesterday and had a good day’s eating. And then – as you know – I got up today and ran.

Planning to run tomorrow evening and Friday morning and to cycle to and from work on Thursday. And alot of salads (although I’m at my mum’s tonight and she’s cooking haddock).

But I feel fat. I’m not happy with the way things look on. Am rather squeezed into a slightly too small jacket today – which is still the largest one I own. Technically, it just fits, but that makes it look bad done up and looks as if it won’t do up when it’s undone. But – feebleness at the weekend aside – if I look awful at the wedding, it won’t be through lack of trying.

Btw, we remain landlubbers - we're not buying the boat which was like the opposite of the Tardis – it looked quite big on the outside but was teeny-weeny inside. Seriously small – and would involve roughing it. And frankly? Found drifting up rivers somewhat dull (paroxysms of delight over fluffy ducklings aside). I’d much rather walk or cycle. I am Action Girl. But, er, podgier and puffier.