Thursday, 15 April 2010

Zoned out

You think you’re in the zone, you’ve pedalled your heart out and it’s all gone rather well, you arrive at work warm, weary and rather pleased with yourself. And then you’re told that it’s because there was a tailwind, blowing you in. Pah. I thought I was back on form (although 'back' does rather hint that I’ve ever been on form at some point – which I’m not sure is technically true. Or even untechnically!).

I am however getting my head down and getting on with the old sensible eating and exercise malarkey. It’s never easy, but despite my setbacks, despite moments of despair, disappointment and even rage, I am not ready to give up on being slimmer. Really, I’m going to do this if it kills me. At least my corpse won’t be so hard to lift! Not planning on dying either though (despite attempts by black cabs, white vans and red buses!).

I have walked once this week and cycled twice. I am not sure whether I’ll cycle tomorrow or not – largely because my pelvis/arse was causing me some pain on the way in today and I have yet to get home. I may just take some ibuprofen and hope for the best! I could certainly do with the calorie burn, particularly as I’m very hungry (because of the cycling? Or the come-down after the week of fooooood? Who knows? Either way, it has to go). We also have a plan to walk at the weekend to make the most of promised good weather. Burn, baby, burn (calories, not a disco inferno – although be my guest)

And I walked past Ben's Cookies yesterday and resisted for the 3rd time. It's a miracle! It makes me feel sad actually, that I'm missing out I guess. I am trying to tell myself that the only thing I'm actually missing out on is continuing being fat. I'm not entirely convinced but I'm going to keep saying it anyway.

I’m ever so slightly obsessed with coconut butter in my porridge since Beth introduced us in Dorset (In Dorset? Yes, I would! (You see what I did there?!)). It’s an expensive habit but not one I could break now. At a tsp a day, a 454g jar has to last ages, right? So the £15 could be seen as a bargain. Or maybe not. But it is now a necessity. I have reverted to 1/3 cup of porridge oats again now - with half LF soya milk and half water, a sachet of Splenda, 100g of blueberries and a tsp of the tropical taste sensation that is coconut butter, mmmm. Then I’ve been having trout pout soup again (WHEN will I learn to be a bit more wary with my addition of chilli?) and SF jelly for lunch and a salad or stir fry for supper with flavoured, sweetened ricotta for pudding. And a couple of pieces of fruit a day and snacks of yoghurt, nuts, Ryvitas (Ryvitae?) with extra LF Laughing cow cheese. And I’ve discovered these things called Fruitus which are basically fruit leather pieces and make me feel I’m having sweets – for c70 cals! I don’t want to have them every day but I’m happy to know they’re there for treats.

My first encounter with Scales of Doom is tomorrow. Gulp. It’s only been 3 days since our last bitter encounter but I want to be weighing in on Fridays. And of course, I’m hoping to see some sort of downward shift to acknowledge the change of diet from last week. Half a stone would be nice. Kidding! Sort of....


Lesley said...

You've got me going on the "In Dorset" thing too, although I suspect it will be hard to shoehorn into conversation in Ireland!! I'll let you know when I manage it!

Well done for the determination - I'd say half the battle, but we all know I'd be lying!

Lesley x

Lainey said...

Coconut butter?! Dear god- that sounds bloody amazing. I love coconut, I love butter - it sounds like a dream. I solemly swear never to try it as it's just another thing I'll have to avoid!

Hope the weigh in wasn't too painful.