So, how is this fair? Last night it was a struggle cycling home because of a brisk headwind I was cycling against; today coming in (so the opposite direction, fact fans) it was even brisker! I told myself firmly that it was a good thing – more effort means more calories burnt and the wind was, er, refreshing and cooling! Ummm, did I convince anyone there? It’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
I’m still doing sterling diet work. It’s all well and good, but I have to be careful that when I break my run of exemplary behaviour (which will be this weekend), that I don’t allow my all or nothing attitude to let that be the end. Already I feel wobbly contemplating it. In fact, last night, I felt ill but the thought that I might not be able to cycle today (thus unable to continue my good streak (not the naked variety, you’ll be pleased to know)) made me feel quite panicky – as if all the good behaviour was coming to an end. As it is, I found out today that I can’t cycle on Thursday as planned (I’m going by train straight after work to meet bf in Suffolk for a last minute weekend away – more of this later) and that’s making me edgy. My Plan B involves me getting up super early which I am not good at AT ALL. Tomorrow I have a freebie pilates class after work and I could (should) also get off the tube early to walk the c2.5 miles in in the morning - and I could do the same on Thursday morning. In MBTs. I’d have to get up at 6am. At the latest. One or both days. Arghhh. Gotta find that resolve somewhere (esp as bf has the rest of the week off and will be peacefully slumbering – grrr!)
Then the weekend away will mean meals out – definitely dinner and quite probably breakfast too. I want to have fun (and eat (which often = fun!)) but I really want to lose weight – it’s so tough. I need to come up with a strategy that’s at least a compromise. Excitingly, we’re going to have a look at a reconditioned 1950s oak boat – for pottering down the Broads. I was initially resistant to this as I thought it would be too dull just to sit about (get me, Action Girl) but bf assures me we can moor up and go walking/cycling – and I’ve conceded that some floating will also be pleasant. From resistance – typically – I’ve gone to break-neck enthusiasm. We’ve not seen the boat yet, far less paid for it, but I’m already planning cute 1950s outfits to wear on it (based on gingham shirts and denim capris. I seem to subconsciously think I’m Audrey Hepburn – which is as far from the truth as is possible. I think you need long, willowy legs for this look, not my stumpy tree trunks!).
A(nother!) real problem for me at the moment is hunger. I’m trying to be careful and moderate but I’m so damn hungry. Sample menu (today’s):
B – ½ cup porridge oats (back to larger quantity to try and stave off hunger pangs) made up with mix of LF soy milk and water, 75g blueberries, tsp sweetener and a generous tsp coconut butter
S – Muller Light yoghurt and Bear granola nibbles
L – Innocent veg pot. SF jelly.
S – 2 Ryvitae with 1 extra LF Laughing Cow cheese, Fruit leather sweets
D – Huge salad of spinach, rocket, watercress, red cabbage, carrot, pepper, cucumber, beanspouts, ½ avocado, dressed with 2 tbsp oil, 1 tbsp balsamic and 1 tbsp each of lemon and lime juices with a tuna steak. 83g ricotta (1/3 tub – not as crazy as it sounds!) with tsp each of sweetener and cocoa. Strawberries (c100g). 2 pieces of plain chocolate.
Except that I’ll get in from cycling SO starving that I’ll have a tsp of peanut butter. 2 if I’m feeling particularly weak of either mind or body. This is a pretty typical meal – except sometimes I have a salad at lunch instead (yes, I’m wild, me) and an omelette in the evening (with salad) or some other combination of protein and salad/veg.
Why am I so hungry? And how do I make it stop?
And I’m still thinking about running. More on that tomorrow.