Monday, 14 January 2008

January - month of doom and gloom

I hate January. Everyone is fed up, fat and broke. At least I'm not bucking the trend I suppose! We need to hang in there and think of Spring (nicer weather and us in nicer clothes!). It ought to be an easy time to diet in some ways - everyone is on a diet after all - but for those of us who comfort eat, it's a tough ride as the general doom and gloom prod us towards the cookie jar (or chocolate seller in my case - I had to grit my teeth to walk past Hotel Chocolate this morning).

I am doing this and my weight is going down (gratifyingly I seem to have lost 9lbs of the 1st 4lbs of pure flab I put on over Christmas) but I'm finding it really tough. Both physically and psychologically. Physically I STILL don't seem to be in ketosis as I'm still really, really hungry. Looking back, when I did LL I never had a sudden moment when I realised I was in ketosis - I was still hungry but that happened more and more infrequently. But I did produce a rosy pink pee stick way back then. I know I'm not in ketosis now as my pee stick on Sunday was resolutely beige. Sigh. I have been having bits and pieces of protein (not ideal but in an attempt to stop me going majorly mad) but I don't think that would keep me out of ketosis. It's only because I'm feeling so pulled down by being hungry that I care! I'm losing weight, it's kind of irrelevant what colour my week turns a little pad on a cardboard stick!

What I am doing well, is that I've been ill (stick with it, obviously that is not something I'm congratulating myself on). Well, I've now had 3 episodes where my vision has gone all funny - blurry and with absent spots like Swiss cheese (yum). I have migraines but not ever had a problem with vision. It's more scary than anything and the urge to self-medicate with food is immense but I have resisted! Hurrah for me. I have an appointment with my GP for later in the week. I'm not going to mention the diet as it's just something for them to seize upon and blame (curiously, just as they did with overweightedness (yes I know there's no such word)) and the first episode happened before I went back on CD.

From reading other blogs (hello Mrs L and Lesley) we're all grimly battling on. Good for us. I'm rooting for you all.


Mrs said...

Hi Peridot

hello hello! We can do this. YES we can!

Hang on in there fellow fat fighter! Hope the head/eye stuff is NOT serious. Are you overdoing it?? At work?

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lesley said...

Reading your post before last really helped me click back into the LL mindset and reminded me what I have achieved and that I can achieve a fraction of that again so thanks for that.

It IS worth the effort - think how much happier you'll be without the flab. I know I am a different person from the ginormous woman who was just starting LL a year ago with nearly 9 stone to lose and some serious determination to do so. Now it's more about what I WANT than what I NEED to do about my figure, fitness etc. A much nicer feeling.

Well done you for starting again and sticking to it as best you can despite being ill.

Keep it up chuck!

Lesley xx