Friday 5 April 2013

Breaking radio silence

Silence is never really golden in blogland.  Unless you mean the wrapping of an Easter Lindt bunny!  Yes, I have one; no, I haven’t eaten it yet.  Yet.
 
I certainly won’t be winning gold for my endeavours.  I seem to be doing really badly recently.  First of all I was being perfect on starve days but eating far too much on non-starve days: not great.  But recently I have been even worse and despite starting well on a starve day, have caved in and eaten wildly and recklessly.  Take last night (the worst example to date): my plans were to have a soup and some popchips for lunch (just under 330 cals) and then some mooli wraps for supper in the cinema (145 cals).  I’d have been nicely under the 500 calories.  But what actually happened was that someone bought several bags of sweeties and I ate so many fruit pastilles and tooty fruities that when I got to the cinema I bought and ate half a tub of pick and mix, then went home and ate a crème egg and a bag of popcorn in a kind of ‘ah sod it, I’ve botched it royally already’ gestrure.  I suspect I more than doubled my calorie allocation.
 
Today is another starve day.  I know it’s going to be especially tough due to the obscene amounts of sugar I ate yesterday (my teeth are still sensitive from it).  But I have to get on track.  It’s just one day; tomorrow I will be at my friend’s wedding so whilst I won’t be eating anything as dreadful as pick and mix (unless they have a sweetie bar which I doubt.  But I would LOVE to go to a wedding with a sweetie bar – as unwise as that would be), I will be eating pudding and cake and drinking wine.  That’s normally just a bit OTT for a weekend but there we go; weddings are special occasions.  I don’t drink to excess and even the food will be in controlled portion sizes.  I have a lot of Easter chocolate but am actually eating it at a moderate speed.  Nonetheless, next week I will have to be very strict on both starve and non-starve days.  And there’s nothing at the moment that should get in the way of that.  At least, nothing social, of course - I still have to dust off my willpower and get it fired up.  It’s never exactly been state-of-the-art or even terribly reliable but it needs to start proving its very existence.
 
Because it’s only 7 weeks to our honeymoon.  Yes, the one where I have to have a slightly daunting wardrobe (for the first part of it – the liner across to New York).  I bought 2 full length dresses, one of which I’m positive wont’ fit and I have two other dresses which I know won’t fit.  Can I get back into them in 7 weeks?  I’ve got to try, even if it’s doomed to failure.

5 comments:

Lisa said...

Big hugs to you. At least you're determined and with every step back you keep getting back up and trying again - dont underestimate that - you've only failed when you've stopped trying!

Do you think you'd maybe be better doing something other than the fasting days? It seems to be messing with your head and causing you to binge more than you maybe normally would - if you're eating a clean diet full of healhty nutritious foods, you'd feel fuller for longer and could probably eat more of them?

Years ago I did weight watchers and I'd save my points for a bar of chocolate or something and although I lost weight I wasnt healhty and I inevitably gained it back when I stopped tracking.

Following a clean and nutritious diet has helped me loads - I dont count calories or points as long as I watch my portion size and everything I eat is clean and unprocessed. Of course I have cheat days or bad weekends but it all seems to even out.

Hope you dont mind me saying all that - I'm not trying to knock what you're doing!

x

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lisa said...

I ended up posting the same comment twice - not sure what happened there!

Lesley said...

Hi Peri. I KNOW Blogger is eating my comments now as another one has gone missing!

You will find a routine which works for you, I know it. But, in the meantime, be kind to yourself hon and if the damn dresses dont fit, swap 'em for bigger sizes. The most important thing is that you and P have a wonderful honeymoon not what dress you wear.

Big hugs as ever.

Lesley xx

Lesley said...

Hi Peri. I KNOW Blogger is eating my comments now as another one has gone missing!

You will find a routine which works for you, I know it. But, in the meantime, be kind to yourself hon and if the damn dresses dont fit, swap 'em for bigger sizes. The most important thing is that you and P have a wonderful honeymoon not what dress you wear.

Big hugs as ever.

Lesley xx