The facts in black and white.

So, yet again I turn to you, dear Reader, to help me out of a sticky spot.  No, not one caused by a surfeit of sugar; not an actual sticky spot (waddayoumean surprised?!) but a metaphorical sticky spot.  A sartorial sticky spot.  No, I didn’t just do that for the sheer damn pleasure of the alliteration, it’s an actual conundrum.
 
And here it is.  One of the formal nights on our non-cruise (because it doesn’t stop anywhere it’s apparently not technically a cruise) is a Black and White Ball.  I can see why they did this: men, you’re in dinner suits (or tuxs if you’re American), women, you have a little black cocktail dress, right?  Wrong.  I possess nothing black.  I wear it under protest to sing in (choir of death) and for funerals (um, yes, death) and that’s it.  I have a couple of white shirts to wear with jeans but, given this is (predominantly) a weight loss blog, we’re all rejecting white as a concept already, right? 
 
As I see it, I have three options:

1)      Buy a cheapish black dress, accept I will not love it and will jettison it asap.  However little I spend, it will be a waste of money.  I’m going to look drawn and tired in it (the effect of black on my pallor) and rather like a Duracell battery with the copper hair.  Think of it as a necessary evil and try not to resent it.

2)     Cheat a little.  Have something made that’s mostly black but maybe with a big shawl collar in a more flattering colour; either subtle like gold or stronger like purple.  Will I ever wear it again?  Unlikely but more likely than option 1.  Tbh, I have little cause to wear balldresses.  I know, it’s a shock, isn’t it?

3)     Cheat a lot.  Buy a dress in as close a colour as possible – read pale gold for white (hmmm) or inky blue for black (might get away with it since apparently the clientele profile is distinctly ‘older’ and in artificial light, it might look black.  Might).

4)     Bonus option!  Wear the dress I bought already which is sort of bronze.  There are two big ‘buts’ with this.  But#1 – it’s way off either black or white.  But#2 – I bought it when I was quite a bit slimmer (although alas not actually slim or anywhere near it) and it may not fit in any case.

 
What do you think, oh sage and sensible Reader?  I’m inclining to Option 3.  It comes with a host of questions like, oh f*** where do I get a navy/gold dress.  And I am not the sort of person that wants to stand out: if I were gorgeous and had ‘tude, I might be happy wearing red for instance.  I am not that woman, I aspire to fitting in.  Which I sometimes think is pretty synonymous with fitting in a size 10-12 but given that I’ve failed that one, I’d kinda like to fit in as best as is possible otherwise.
 
The other “formal” night is a masked ball – so my deep sea-green dress with gold wrap and a gold mask is what I’m thinking.  I need quite a few inches shortening off the bottom as it’s full-length and I want them converting into straps as the boning is rubbish.  I really need to a) try this on (again I bought it last summer) and b) given that it’s a kind of wafty column dress, think about whether I should belt it or whether I’d just look like a big pillow with a belt round the middle.  Short girls in full length is not a winner in my opinion.
 
Had two good starve days and two not-so-bad weekend days.  We’ll see how the non-starve days pan out – they need to be moderate and not hedonistic.  Tomorrow’s the first one.  I need to keep those dresses in mind.