I certainly won’t be winning gold for my endeavours. I seem to be doing really badly recently. First of all I was being perfect on starve days but eating far too much on non-starve days: not great. But recently I have been even worse and despite starting well on a starve day, have caved in and eaten wildly and recklessly. Take last night (the worst example to date): my plans were to have a soup and some popchips for lunch (just under 330 cals) and then some mooli wraps for supper in the cinema (145 cals). I’d have been nicely under the 500 calories. But what actually happened was that someone bought several bags of sweeties and I ate so many fruit pastilles and tooty fruities that when I got to the cinema I bought and ate half a tub of pick and mix, then went home and ate a crème egg and a bag of popcorn in a kind of ‘ah sod it, I’ve botched it royally already’ gestrure. I suspect I more than doubled my calorie allocation.
Today is another starve day. I know it’s going to be especially tough due to the obscene amounts of sugar I ate yesterday (my teeth are still sensitive from it). But I have to get on track. It’s just one day; tomorrow I will be at my friend’s wedding so whilst I won’t be eating anything as dreadful as pick and mix (unless they have a sweetie bar which I doubt. But I would LOVE to go to a wedding with a sweetie bar – as unwise as that would be), I will be eating pudding and cake and drinking wine. That’s normally just a bit OTT for a weekend but there we go; weddings are special occasions. I don’t drink to excess and even the food will be in controlled portion sizes. I have a lot of Easter chocolate but am actually eating it at a moderate speed. Nonetheless, next week I will have to be very strict on both starve and non-starve days. And there’s nothing at the moment that should get in the way of that. At least, nothing social, of course - I still have to dust off my willpower and get it fired up. It’s never exactly been state-of-the-art or even terribly reliable but it needs to start proving its very existence.
Because it’s only 7 weeks to our honeymoon. Yes, the one where I have to have a slightly daunting wardrobe (for the first part of it – the liner across to New York). I bought 2 full length dresses, one of which I’m positive wont’ fit and I have two other dresses which I know won’t fit. Can I get back into them in 7 weeks? I’ve got to try, even if it’s doomed to failure.