Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Down but not out

Thanks for the support.  Bloody dieting, why isn't it as easy as the women's mags would have you believe?  You know, you stop eating McDonalds for breakfast and lunch and a huge takeaway for supper and give up your daily bars of chocolate and crisps and hey presto, a mere few months later you're a grinning size 10.  Hmm.

Clearly that is not and never has been me.  I eat pretty frugally and get miserly results - if anything.  But given that the option is to carry on carrying on or to eat everything in sight and end up as a Channel 4 documentary narrated by a dour Geordie, carrying on it is.

Not that I've weighed myself recently, nor can I feel any discernable change in my clothes.  In fact I went shopping for a dress to wear to a friend's wedding in a couple of weeks and couldn't find a dress in Coast to fit me.  It was not a nice experience as I'd seen one I'd entertained vague hopes for and I could not find the heart to try anywhere else - I slunk home feeling very sorry for myself.  And what's even more annoying is that I have the savagely sized Vivien of Holloway one which would be perfect but is now too small.  I'm starting to get very nervous about finding suitable clothes for the liner.  I keep counting up on my fingers how many weeks and wondering how much I could lose.  Which is absurd as I don't think I'm achieving anything at the moment.  But you know how it goes as you bargin with the god of maths (who is in collusion with the god of diets).

Still, as that irritating little man said (loftily), there are rules of physics and several studies which show that if I'm doing what I said I am, I must therefore lose weight.  Grrrr.

Funnily enough, I am worried I eat too much on my non-starve days so that's a place to cut down (Seren, I know you sweetly suggested the contrary).  I'm still being exemplary on starve days - hold the gold star, just give me some lardage off please.  I do use fitness pal so I know absolutely that I come in under the 500 calorie mark on starve days.  I try to do 3 of these a week but occasionally it's 2.  Today P asked me not to do a starve day as I'm ill - if ever there were a get out of jail card!  I appreciate his concern but it's starve all the way today.  I can't afford any wavering or deviation if I'm to fully enjoy my honeymoon.  Okay, realistically I know that I'll still be - and feel - fat but I'd like at least to fit into the few dresses I have rather than running round like a lunatic at the last minute and buying stuff I hate and that makes me feel bad.  It's a loose plan.  It's the best I can do at the moment.


Lesley said...

I'm sorry you've not had any support from me...I tried but have had trouble posting comments from my phone. I've typed a couple of long, indignant comments about the nasty metabolism man with lots of hugs. But they didnt go thru. Grrrr

But I was and am still thinking about you.

Big hugs hon.

Lesley xxx

Badger said...

Coast sizes are tiny - I don't fit into any of them either and there is no way I'm a size 20!!

Ruby said...

I hate the diet articles in women's magazines. They are always accompanied by photos of size ten models with jutting collar bones looking dizzy with joy while biting into an apple. Yeah right!

Seren said...

I had to smile at the idea of the god of maths and the god of diets perched on a cloud together plotting as to how they can make our lives a misery!

And I agree with Badger, Coast sizes are very tiny.


Lisa said...

I've just found your blog and I'm working my way through your posts but I just had to stop to give you a big virtual hug!!!

My weight has been manic over the years and I too have a 'slightly' disapproving other half - since the beginning of the year I've just been following a completely clean diet (no counting cals or points etc) and have also recently started fasting with good results.

You can do this, but you need to be doing it for you and not for P - times when J used to make comments about what I was eating would make me rebel and want to eat more rather than motivation to eat less (flawed logic I know!)

You obviously have loads of support on here and its lovely to see the comments you're getting.

I'm sorry I dont have some magic wand for you or any real advice but I just wanted to say hi and that if I can offer advice on anything just let me know.

Hang in there!

Lisa @ 50shadesoflisa.blogspot

Linz M said...

I totally admire your dedication, I have no idea how you can possibly eat less than 500 calories and not faint! Fingers crossed it pays off. Check out Lady V London for some cheap and fairly generously sized dresses. I have loads! x

amy said...

Please let us know how you are doing! ;0)