Frocky horror

I feel as if I am being marched towards the guillotine. An extreme reaction about going wedding dress shopping? Perhaps, perhaps not. Only time will tell.

I’m off tomorrow and Wednesday (with the latter being D-day). So next time I update, it will be the hiatus. Because on Saturday I go back for a second pasting to a second hand dress shop. Which I think could be worse – they only go up to a 16 (and don’t have many of those as most brides seem to be a size 8-10) and although I am a 16, apparently wedding dresses run small. Because after all, why wouldn’t you want to make a bride feel small – whilst and by telling her she’s bigger?

I’ve decided to WI tomorrow – it’s a day early and for reasons I will come on to, I am more than usually scared. Sufficiently scared that I missed Unofficial WIs on both Friday and today. This makes Tuesday even scarier. And the reason? We had a wedding cake consultation on Thursday evening. And I ate cake. The sugar caused my heart to beat too fast and too loud and too randomly. But the cake was good. At this stage we couldn’t choose the flavours, it was to give us an idea of quality. And OH BOY. We had white chocolate and Baileys: I don’t like white chocolate, I would never choose this, and it was DELICIOUS. We both loved it. Then we had chocolate and passionfruit – I didn’t fancy this either, it sounded like an odd combo to be. It was DELICIOUS (yep, this word is going to be over-used) – the sponge was so, so moist and the passionfruit icing tangy and sweet at the same time. Then we had peanut butter and chocolate which I would have thought would easily be my favourite – it was nice but nothing compared to the other two. Then P manfully ate the rum-soaked fruit cake on his own (fruit cake: ugh) and declared it....yes... DELICIOUS. So we have to wait and have an actual tasting with our other potential cake maker on Sunday but I cannot, cannot believe that they can be as good.

But now you see why I am a-feared, no? I had 3 half cakes on Thursday and a fairy cake at work. Oooohhhhhh, the guilt.

And I bet the fact that we had a really tough cycle ride on Saturday counts for zip. Actually, I couldn’t believe it when I worked out on the map that it was only 13.5 miles. Most of it was either on hilly roads (do NOT believe anyone who tells you Suffolk is flat – they’re not big hills but they’re long. And frequent) or off road. Or both. I literally couldn’t hold up my own arms at the end – they were like wet bits of string. Chunky, lumpy string, obv. I think it was the combination of bracing against the handlebars and the shaking from the terrain which must have been akin to being on a powerplate for the best part of an hour and forty minutes. It was specifically my triceps which were traumatised though which is rather pleasing. As long as it translates to trimmer arms, that is. Ideally before Wednesday.
Think of me at 11.30am and 2pm on Wednesday. And also a bit tomorrow morning. Gulp. And see you on the other side.