Friday, 13 April 2012

Going undercover

With a mere 10 days to go, I am ramping up my anxiety about wedding dress shopping. In a whole morass of fear, I am focussing on one thing at the moment – principally how I can wear as much as possible in the changing cubicle where (so I hear) you have to strip down with someone else there. Gulp. This will be unpleasant for both of us.

I tried one of those sort of sucky-in slip dresses on – it didn’t suck in and it dragged my boobs down. So my latest plan is sucky-in knickers under a slip (petticoat, not dress. It’s just that petticoat sounds frilly and this is just a nude straight slippy thing) and a strapless bra. It’s the area of waist to mid thigh that I’m keenest to keep under wraps (for wedding shop lady's sake too!) and I think this is the best way, short of making like a Victorian lady and insisting on changing in a box. Which I would totally do if I thought I could get away with it. And if I thought I could a) buy and b) transport my box there. Even with a slip, I’m still going to be very self-conscious and very anxious about the whole thing but I simply can’t put it off any longer.

Gabby made the intriguing suggestion of fake tan to make my blobby arms look less blobby in my sleeveless dress. Now, I do St Tropez my legs in the summer as the glare reflecting from my stark white limbs could blind an unsuspecting passer-by. But I have never tanned anything else. Because I am so white, even those hint of fake tanners can look alarming on me – I tried one when they first came out (was it Nivea?) and achieved a fetching orange zebra effect which although high in comedy value, was low in attractiveness. So my question is: can anyone recommend a very gentle hit of fake tanner for the terminally pallid?

Also, thanks Amy for your comment on my diet. I eat macadamias because they’re the least carby nut – I like most nuts so it’s not direct preference. Is there a better choice? Happy to try out almonds/cashews (my favourite) or anything else really. Except peanuts – not allowed those.

I’ve had a good week diet-wise and the weekend looks good too. No social plans except for being with my lovely P and we’re hoping to cycle 10 miles off-road round a forest tomorrow which, assuming it doesn’t kill me, should do me some good I hope. I’m hoping it shocks my body into dumping quite a bit of lard – this miserliness has to stop! I have much lard so there’s no need for hoarding.


amy said...

I use sevin nyne self tanner. It looks scary going on -- steaky and brown, but smells goods snd leaves a very subtle brown color. I am very scary white, and it is not too much.

Not sure about the carbs, but almonds are supposed to be the latest wonder nut.

Try not to stress too much about the dress. -- it's like going to the gynecologist and thinking "yours" is the only one he has ever seen. Your dress is out there and you will be beautiful in it.

Gabby said...

I would advise getting a spray tan professionally done. It's even and looks natural and you don't get that odd white face, brown arms look. And you don't need to be afraid of streaks etc.

You can get it very lightly and naturally done. I am as pasty as can be so I got one coat of the lightest colour. Natural looking, but it really made a difference.

I sympathise with the wedding dress anxiety. I think Amy's comment is very true - the only person who is going to be judging your body (or even looking at it much) is you.

Lesley said...

Good luck hon. I'm sure the woman will be supremely sensitive (it being her job and that) but I'm equally sure that she will have seen some absolute horrors in her time too so your mild wobbliness will not even register on the scale for her!!

For every sensitive, modest soul like yourself there are a dozen brash, bold fatties letting it all hang out in a thong and too-small balcony bra. You will be a breath of fresh air and she will work hard to make sure you look your absolute best.

If she does not, take your money elsewhere!!

Lesley xx