Wednesday, 4 April 2012

A brief reprieve

My decidedly non-official WIs show that SoD is showing its usual determination to destroy my equilibrium by refusing to budge despite heroic efforts on my part. I have done a lot of walking (enough to budge the bulge but not to cause my (useless) body to panic and cling on to its ready fat supplies) - 10 miles on Saturday and 2.5 -3 on Wednesday, Friday and Monday (and today). I ate a hearty breakfast at the weekend and so just had a snack for lunch those days and I just had the one glass of wine over the entire weekend. But, as ever, SoD is winning the mental battle and today I ate too much chocolate - the right stuff: dark and 'only' 100g but it's more than I usually allow myself. And stupidly and senselessly it's because the scales aren't budging - exactly where's the logic there, doofus (I speak to myself, dear Reader, not to you)? And it made my heart flutter most uncomfortably as if I'd had a couple of strong coffees. On the pain/pleasure basis, I ought to realise that this much chocolate is A Bad Idea and never do it again. Hmmm.

But I do realise how far I've come (I mistyped 'far' as 'fat' which was sobering) - I've had a couple of comments recently admiring my "willpower". Now, I've always thought of myself as so entirely lacking in willpower that I don't possess an iota of it in my entire body, but you know what, although I do fail sometimes (see, sigh, above) I succeed so many times. And I'm SO much better than I used to be. It's still a story in progress but I've come a long way. If not to the kingdom of slimdom, alas.

Bizarrely I've also had 3 comments all around me looking "sleek" or been asked if I've lost weight. SoD says a big fat NUH-UH. And I know I've not built muscle and reduced chub so it's not that. I am, frankly, mystified. All I can think is that people assume that because I'm getting married, I must be dieting and therefore must be losing weight. And that people see what they expect to see. May that continue through the ceremony is all I can say - just keep those rose-tinted glasses (or whatever they are) firmly affixed please.

Today should have been the WI but I wasn't at home at SoD's disposal to diss me and dismiss me this morning - I stayed at my mum's last night (not to avoid SoD but because I'd had my hair cut). So tomorrow is the day which dictates my mood for the week (only a slight exaggeration). Panic-eating 100g of chocolate was probably not the best timing then. Even if it is the season of chocolate. I really want to skip the WI so I will have to force myself to do it tomorrow - and then I'll try and come on here as a way of holding myself accountable and tell you the news. And our weekend plans. Best to look ahead, hey?


Seren said...

Yep, I nodded in agreement at the whole scales not moving so I'll eat chocolate thing...

Fingers crossed for tomorrow!


Lesley said...

I do believe that you gave yourself credit for something in there!!? Of course you've come a long way and your willpower is pretty amazing so keep it up chuck!!

I'm crossing fingers for your encounter with the ghastly SoD and looking foward to hearing about your weekend plans. Mine will be mostly football and golf you wont be surprised to hear!

Lesley xx

Gabby said...

Would it hurt to skip a WI? I feel like leaving a bit longer between WIs isnt bad, as long as you do it regularly, since you don't get tormented so much by the little fluctuations.

And by the way, I am in permanent awe of how amazing your willpower is. I can't imagine how you could ever think otherwise, but you have a will of iron, my dear.