The urge to hibernate is very strong in the dark mornings – I push snooze on my alarm clock at least three times before I get up, reluctantly. Today looks like being the only dry day this week so I force myself to cycle. My gears won’t work properly and it turns out I forgot my towel – a slightly sweaty t-shirt does not make a good substitute. And I’m not looking forward to putting it back on to cycle home.
When I had the energy to be on the doctors’ backs (not literally, it might kill them) about WHY I have so many bloody headaches, the best they could come up with was a scan which showed that one set of my sinuses were “partially occluded” – the set behind my eyes and next to the blood supply to my brain. This meant there was nothing they could do as it’s too dangerous to operate – not something I was sorry to hear! But it could be right because I notice in the cold how my head literally pulsates with pain and my eyes water with it. Anyway, that’s a long way round of saying it’s tougher to cycle in the cold! I’m still doing it when it’s dry and I’m still doing Circuit of Hell 2-3 times a week (I aim for 3, I don’t always make it). This week so far I’ll have cycled one day and done Circuit of Hell once – I’m planning on CoH tomorrow and either cycling or CoH on Thursday, depending on the weather. On Friday we are going to Aldeburgh for the weekend – we wanted to do a couple of long walks but the weather forecast is dire.
It’s an odd one. Years ago, we all talked about ‘anniversaries’ and they meant we’d been with a boyfriend (I think this is exclusively a girl thing!) for weeks/months/years – the younger you were the shorter the time that seemed worthy of mention. As we all grew up (at least in theory!) my friends started to have proper anniversaries – ie the date on which they’d got married. So it seems sort of silly to confess that this weekend is for bf and my ‘anniversary’ – it’s not the real deal but we did meet 15 years ago this weekend.
The food thing is still difficult for me. Maybe that’s because of my wanting to hibernate too – not that I’m burying chocolate around the place, you understand. Actually I do keep buying it and putting around the place! Which in itself is not a problem – only when I then eat a load of it. I’m a little better than I was, but not enough to make me feel less gloomy and fatalistic about it all.
The recent reports saying that, ooops, scientists got it wrong and actually we can have 400 cals more, fill me with deep suspicion. Firstly, I think that may be men. Secondly, why are we all so fat if we’re undereating? Okay, not all of us but I’m speaking from the chubby-side here. It’s all very confusing. I also saw this thing on the Mail website (okay, not a source known for incisive factual reporting) but quoting the WHO which supposedly gives a range of calories we need. If you’re a woman, aged 30 – 60 you take your weight in kilos and multiply it by 8.7, add 829 and multiply the total by 1.5 for a sedentary lifestyle or 1.8 for an active one. This came out for me as from almost 2500 – 3000 cals. I think not! Sadly. Here’s the link to the article if you want to see:
But that’s not if you’re losing weight anyway so I’m not sure how you adjust that. Another source today told me that to maintain my weight (like anyone my weight would want to!) I should eat 2176cals or to lose weight I should eat 1624 – 1852, depending on level of exercise:
Whether it’s 1624 or 2949 – I don’t believe any of it. I suspect that I really need to eat very little if I actually want to lose weight – so little that I’m very hungry. I’ve only succeeded with LL and that’s less than 600 cals – and I still lost very slowly on that. I do want to lose weight but I can’t go back to the dust sachets. I’m just going to try and eat 1200-1400 cals a day, cycle 3-4x a week, CoH 2-3x a week and hope that at some point my body stops fighting me and a miracle occurs. Tis the season for miracles after all, right?