I feel I ought to update - but there's not much to say. My eating still includes too much chocolate and I still beat myself up about it - but that doesn't stop me. Unsurprisingly I still look and feel fat and my clothes still don't fit. It looks unlikely that I'll be cycling much this week - I don't like cycling in the rain (or the wind although I will reluctantly do that); I've done Circuit of Hell once and plan to do it tomorrow morning too.
We had a nice weekend in Aldeburgh - I probably ate too much but I wasn't out of all control, I didn't sneak in extra sugar, furtively and in between meals as I often do when we go away. I didn't weigh myself before I went and I haven't for a while now - I'm too scared - which means I probably should do this Friday. Weirdly I forget to do it but I suspect this is some sort of subconsious ploy to protect myself from full on freak-out (I know it won't be good news).
Despite too much chocolate over the last two days (and a Haribo hit today - provided at work) I have had salads in the evening that I have positively salivated over the prospect of (and soup for lunch, porridge for breakfast). Thank goodness I like salad. We bought an amazing lean slipper ham that had been marinated in treacle and then smoked - last night and tonight I had a salad of chicory, leaves, ham, apple and a bit of Sussex gold cheese, SO delicious. On Sunday we had a ham and chutney sandwich which was one of the best I've ever had (with local cider). We might have to go back and buy another ham! I enjoy this sort of natural, wholesome eating but it's got to be the polar opposite of Haribo which are essentially chemicals bound together with horse bone gluey stuff. How can something so intrinsically awful taste so nice and act on me like some sort of drug so that I can't stop at one or two? I know there will be more Haribo tomorrow. My goal is to take 5 pieces and not keep going back for more. It's a real challenge.