Scores on the doors

So, let's review the week. Exercise - three cycling days (at just under 18 miles a day), one 5.5 mile walk, one 3 mile walk, five sessions of arm weights. Food - VERY hungry but stuck to it pretty much, quite respectable.

As you know, I was hoping for a stellar weight loss to kick start me after some carby indulgence last week. It's always a bit more at the beginning, right? So I was hoping for 3-4lbs. And the result? 2lbs. I know, 2lbs is a reasonable loss but not as a week 1 weigh in. And, more to the point, it's not taking me anywhere near what I need to achieve before my holiday. To actually be the same weight as I was last time I went to Turkey (when I felt too fat) I will have to lose 3.5lbs a week from here on in. I know that's a tall order, even with my 1200-1300 cals and cycling regime. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that's impossible. And next week will not be an exemplary week - one cycle commute max (depending on weather - not looking good at the moment), one walk in of 3 miles (ditto) and a long all-day walk in Wiltshire where we're going for 2 nights to celebrate my birthday. Then the BH weekend on which we will also be celebrating my birthday. And I'm meeting a friend for a chick flick and sushi on Monday (not a disaster but harder to keep a grip on).

I'm not going to go mad over my birthday but we will be eating out a few times so it will be more akin to weekend eating but over 5-6 days. Gulp. I'll have to work on a plan for this. I do want some nice meals and I do want some sweet stuff but I don't want to pile weight on so there must be some balance there. I'm already formulating a plan as I type - eat frugally where possible, both when making choices in restaurants/pubs and also to eat very carefully and cautiously the rest of the time to try and balance out those few meals out.

I am simply not going to let the disappointment of the weight loss and the fear of the holiday de-rail me. The temptation to eat, to just say 'sod it' is enormous. Both temporarily as 'a treat to cheer myself up' and going forwards right through my birthday and up to the holiday. But I'm not giving in to it. I'm going to carry on determinedly and do the best I can. I know it's not going to be good enough, but I won't have anything to reproach myself with (or - realistically - not as much) when I'm packing and trying to work out what I can wear on holiday. I can kiss goodbye to my clamdigger plans and my nice size 14 skirts from last year though. Which is good in a way. Well, it's not, but at least I can now focus on what I can take to make sure I've got enough tops which actually go with the skirts I have got etc, and that is clarity anyway.