Wednesday, 2 April 2008

Day 43 - crunch time

So, six weeks into this diet and I have lost - zilch. In fact, I have put ON 6lbs in total. Even with the running. That is scary. I'm really very anxious. So, now I will do one week perfectly as I confess that I've had one biscuit, 2 After Eights and 5 chocolate coffee beans this week (another 3lbs in weight? Surely not) and if I don't lose at least 3lbs then I will have to stop this diet I think - I can't think what else to do.

Problem is is that I don't have a Plan B. I hate not having a Plan B. I could do another 3-4 weeks of CD in between having friends over for lunch next weekend and going for a week's walking holiday with my mother and her Labs in the second week in May. But I don't know if I could bear too. If I were guaranteed to lose a stone in that time it would be easier but I'm such a low loser that it's more likely to be 7-10lbs - for alot of misery.

I'm upset and scared. It's one thing (not good I know) to get to your goal weight and then battle with keeping it off like Lesley and Mrs (although I know she was a pound or so off her goal) and god knows that must be soul destroying but really I'm only half way there and it's going back on. I'll just have to hope a perfect week will have the desired effect. This diet - although hard because of my sugar addiction - made sense to me and it leaves me feeling slightly bereft. I don't know what to do or where to turn.

To compound my stress, work forgot to pay us our overtime this month - so I'm £200-300 down this month and was hanging on from last month to try and sort myself out a bit this month. Work are metaphorically shrugging their shoulders and saying "oh well, it will be a good month next month". Can you tell that senior managers don't get overtime?

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