Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Day 48 - update

Well since Thursday I've been exemplary - stuck to the IPD like glue. Until today when I had 7 M&Ms and 2 Maltesers. Not a disaster in the grand scheme of things but this diet seems to be such a fine chemical balancing act that that could be enough to stop me losing weight this week. And I had lost 2-3lbs since Thursday too, sigh. Now of course I desparately want to indulge in my "oh sod it, I've blown it" feelings and have a millionaire's shortbread - I love them. All this is on our smack table of course (amongst other sugary temptations).

And I measured myself this morning and I've not lost an inch since I started this diet - so it's not that I'm losing mass by building muscle and losing fat. Happy though that thought was.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm torturing myself so much. I'm still 4st down and - clothed at any rate - I don't think I look too bad. I'm so focussed on what is supposed to be my goal weight and stressed that I'm not speeding along there and yet I'm not utterly convinced I'd want to be there - I'd be happy as a 12-14 (I'm a 14-16 at the moment), I have no desire to be that "perfect 10".

Given that I'm running and I think I do feel firmer/more toned I am perplexed that I'm not losing inches. It was so hard last night that I really expected to get on the scales today and see them plummit.

Yes, yesterday was the first of the 2 min interval runs. HOW can a measly 2 mins be so, so hard???? My legs were like jelly, my lungs felt raw and my head was pounding - and that was after the first 2 mins, you can imagine my state after the 7th. I did do it but I'm not sure I can carry on with this - it's just so hard. B/f hurt his leg on the second run so I was on my own - he's going to be out of action for at least a week. Bless him though, he's still volunteered to come out with me in the mornings whilst I run (this is at 6.10am in the week!) and hobble round and encourage me. I'll probably do my utmost to carry on with this - 2 mins running, 2 mins walking for 28 mins - until b/f can join in again. So I might end up doing it for 2 weeks but I think that would be better to help my adjust. Otherwise I think I'll have to do 1 min running, 1 min walking for a week, building up to 2 mins again. B/f kept looking at me and warning me not to overdo it but I was determined to keep going - not convinced that was the best tactic though. It's quite dispiriting.

1 comment:

Mrs said...

Sorry I haven't posted or commented - you'll see why soon.

Please keep going but at a rate that suits you. You really are doing better than you think.

Cheering from the sides.

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx