What lies beneath

On Tuesday I bit a bullet (bra) and went to consult Bravissimo on whether it was even possible for me to have bras that didn’t cause pain.  This is not yet another tribute to 50 Shades of..., there is nothing remotely sexy about wheals, however warped unusual your preference.  I have actual scarring from the previous but one haul of bras, the last lot was bought to escape scarring on my (deeply buried) upper ribcage.  This lot didn’t hurt there but did cause an actual open wound beneath and between my boobs – when I went to Bravissimo it was just a wheal so deep that it had gone from red to blue.  And some chafing from the straps.

I don’t really enjoy the process of buying bras – I’d count it as a necessary evil.  It’s mainly the stripping off that bothers me.  And I always feel very sorry for anyone who has to touch me (see also: massages).  The girl was very sweet but disconcertingly young, pretty and perky.  I have three new bras – the jury is still out on whether they’re just going to cause damage in a different area.  I no longer buy matching knickers as I kind of feel I don’t deserve nice lingerie.  But my anal Virgo side finds it deeply traumatic to mis-match cotton knickers from M&S with different bras.  I try and tone the colours but it’s really deeply unsatisfactory.

I think we’ll save diets for the next post and stick with the underwear theme.

So.  With enormous trepidation I have ordered a corset. A proper one with steel girders (or whatever they call them – they’ll need to be kryptonite to achieve anything like the wasp waist on me that the more normally proportioned girls achieve).  The site is called Orchard Corsetry and my corset has already started its journey from Wenatchee somewhere in the USA.  I bought it after seeing some amazing results on admittedly far more slender and more beautiful women than me (see the quite spectacular George @ Fullerfigurefullerbust.com) but have since found out about waist training.  Yes, it sounds gruesome if you give it any deep thought but you essentially wear a corset until your organs shift about and you get a more defined waist.  I bet that’s overly simplistic but...  Excitingly, as well as improving your posture, it acts as an external lap band.  Got to be worth a try if I can woman-up enough to get used to it and stick to it.  (Not to mention getting the flipping thing on.)  I had an integral one in my wedding dress and actually found it okay.  Fingers crossed.