Friday, 13 February 2015

What lies beneath

On Tuesday I bit a bullet (bra) and went to consult Bravissimo on whether it was even possible for me to have bras that didn’t cause pain.  This is not yet another tribute to 50 Shades of..., there is nothing remotely sexy about wheals, however warped unusual your preference.  I have actual scarring from the previous but one haul of bras, the last lot was bought to escape scarring on my (deeply buried) upper ribcage.  This lot didn’t hurt there but did cause an actual open wound beneath and between my boobs – when I went to Bravissimo it was just a wheal so deep that it had gone from red to blue.  And some chafing from the straps.

I don’t really enjoy the process of buying bras – I’d count it as a necessary evil.  It’s mainly the stripping off that bothers me.  And I always feel very sorry for anyone who has to touch me (see also: massages).  The girl was very sweet but disconcertingly young, pretty and perky.  I have three new bras – the jury is still out on whether they’re just going to cause damage in a different area.  I no longer buy matching knickers as I kind of feel I don’t deserve nice lingerie.  But my anal Virgo side finds it deeply traumatic to mis-match cotton knickers from M&S with different bras.  I try and tone the colours but it’s really deeply unsatisfactory.

I think we’ll save diets for the next post and stick with the underwear theme.

So.  With enormous trepidation I have ordered a corset. A proper one with steel girders (or whatever they call them – they’ll need to be kryptonite to achieve anything like the wasp waist on me that the more normally proportioned girls achieve).  The site is called Orchard Corsetry and my corset has already started its journey from Wenatchee somewhere in the USA.  I bought it after seeing some amazing results on admittedly far more slender and more beautiful women than me (see the quite spectacular George @ but have since found out about waist training.  Yes, it sounds gruesome if you give it any deep thought but you essentially wear a corset until your organs shift about and you get a more defined waist.  I bet that’s overly simplistic but...  Excitingly, as well as improving your posture, it acts as an external lap band.  Got to be worth a try if I can woman-up enough to get used to it and stick to it.  (Not to mention getting the flipping thing on.)  I had an integral one in my wedding dress and actually found it okay.  Fingers crossed.


Stephbospoon said...

Any bra I've bought from bravissimo has been far too tight & has rubbed me raw, you're not alone. I think they insist on giving you a smaller bra so you got back to them ( because of the smaller size). I have some Santorini soft crop tops from m& s when my bras get too rough on my skin, though M&S have been making bras with much wider sides/back straps which are a lot more comfortable. I bought about 8 because no doubt they'll stop making them! I carry weight on my shoulders & back, due to being apple shaped, so bras are a nightmare!

Lesley said...

I'm presently wearing 2 horrible and far too slack, cheap and nasty bras from supermarkets. Me who used to be such a bra snob?!! I just can't bring myself to spend cash on bras when I'm hoping to be a different size soon.

I pledge to get some decent ones when I have dropped a dress size and these are actually unwearable!! (Although I may have some nice ones in the smaller size knocking around at the back of my drawer?)

I feel your pain (without the actual welts) and hope these new ones are less uncomfortable.

No idea WHAT you're talking about on the corset front but hope it works out!!

Lesley xx

Blods said...

Good luck with the new bras, I had no idea other people found them as uncomfortable as I do! The corset thing doesn't sound too healthy if it actually re-routes internal organs!!! Maybe better for occasional use? Blods x

Seren said...

I feel your pain (quite literally!!) I have a couple of nice, expensive ones that I got properly fitted and just use the size to buy cheapo ones on eBay because the horror of going to somewhere like Bravissimo (especially when, as Lesley says, I always intend to be a different size "soon") is just too much to bear.

The trials of being a girl, eh?

Bit scared of the whole corset thang, but will be interested to hear how you find it!


previously slimmerbridezilla currently slummy mummy said...

Hi P - I am still an avid follower of your blog -have you tried Elomi ones - currently a 38hh (yikes) but they are very good - some are actually quite pretty given the amount of structural engineering going on!

Badger said...

I think I've said this before, but a mere slip of a girl at Bravissimo once made me bend forward and shimmy in the new bra, as part of their fitting process. I mean seriously...

I'm a massive fan though (apart from the price and the welts obvs) xx